Forgotten Memories
by Enigmatic Ethereality
Summary: KxSa Kagome awakens from a 2 year coma only to find that parts of her memory are absent. Sango loses faith in the possibliity of their relationship as Kagome struggles to regain forgotten memories. The two work through hardships to stay together. Mature.
1. Chapter 1: Swimming In Dreams

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians (More prominent later on...).

Disclaimer: I **don't **own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a AFI sketch book and it's _beast_.

**Chapter 1: Swimming In Dreams**

This feeling…. How to describe such a serene feeling would be almost impossible. An empty floating feeling; a hazy swim in a large cold lake that had swallowed me up just mere seconds before. The surprise of hitting its surface and being enveloped by its cool liquid depth had faded merely seconds ago… or had it _really_ been seconds. It seems like I've been struggling for some time to reach its glassy surface… I was so close… so close.

My eyes worked hard to open, my pupils retracting violently to the sudden light. Darkness continued to dance before my eyes, despite the fact of me knowing they were open. The room I was in was blindingly white, successfully giving me a headache. I tried to roll onto my side; push the covers from my body. My limbs were not my own, and neither was my body.

"Sweet Jesus," a surprised gasp was registered by my ears.

"W-what…." I tried to speak but my voice was not cooperating.

I saw a darkly clothed figure quickly leave the room and return moments later with a nurse.

I panicked when I realized that I was lying in a hospital bed with all sorts of tubes connected in places I didn't even want to imagine.

"Kagome, I need you to stay calm while I call in the doctor," the woman said waiting until I stopped trying to struggle before she left.

I looked across the room at the man in the dark clothes. My eyes felt wide and I knew I looked scared and confused. Sympathy swam deep in his amber eyes. A simple smile pushed its way across his face and he looked quite natural in it. Familiar in fact.

"I'm so glad you've finally woken up Kagome," he said, turning away to hide his obvious tears.

"What's going on?" I managed to rasp out.

"Don't worry," he said nearing me. "It'll all make sense soon." He gently took my hand and despite the fact that I could not place a name with his face I knew he was my special person. I decided that I could trust him. And I was right.

Within the next hour and a half they explained _everything_ to me while the doctor did his checks.

"_Kagome, it'll be ok," she said letting her hand gently cup my own on the middle compartment of her car._

"_It won't, I know my parents," I mumbled with a voice thick with tears. I looked down at our hands, trying to find comfort in the warmth that her hand was giving me._

"_kagome, look at me," a firm but assuring voice said._

_I looked up into deep green eyes that did nothing but assure me._

"_I promise it'll be ok," she said with a light smile settling onto her lips._

_Suddenly, the sound of screeching tires ripped between our calm and the brightness of approaching headlights caught my attention on my right. Impact and then darkness._

I had been in a car accident with a friend, they had told me; and I had just woken from the two year and a half long coma caused by spinal cord damage and head trauma. The information seemed impossible to me. There was no way that I had been laying in that bed for nearly three years. They had to be lying. It was all probably some sick trick. In fact, it was probably still the summer before I was supposed to go to college and my best friend Sa-….. God, what was her name?

"I can't remember…." I said out loud, but more to myself.

"What is it Kagome?" the man with amber eyes asked.

"I can't remember her name," I said looking him over. "I can't remember yours…."

"Oh," he sighed downheartedly. "The doctor said you'd have a bit of trouble remembering things for a little while."

"Who are you?"

He looked a bit upset, but then sighed and forced a smile. "I'm InuYasha," he said as I saw a deep caring in his eyes.

"Are you my boyfriend?"

A mad blush raced across his face and he glanced away making a small sound in his throat. When his amber eyes connected with my own again I could read the longing within them. "No," he answered simply before crossing his arms and looking away.

That's when I spotted movement behind him and glanced up to see a girl with long brown hair that was held up and a high ponytail. Her eyes portrayed such joy and excitement to see me. Tears slipped from their green depths easily. That's when I realized that she was the girl that I could remember just barely…. Who was she? Why did she make me feel- I don't know how to explain it- giddy? Excited in a way that probably wasn't healthy. I felt heat rush through me and rest in the pit of my stomach.

I offered her a smile and a light sob fell from her lips.

"I'm so… happy to see your beautiful blue eyes," she pressed out, moving across the room quickly to give me a hug. I realized how numb and unresponsive the feeling in my body was and I hoped strongly that that would change soon.

I felt an awkward smile play on my lips and I tried my hardest to remember who she was. I tried and tried to remember, feeling as if I'd destroy her if I didn't remember; like she'd cease to exist. Like her beautiful tanned skin would disappear from my sight.

"I don't want to say this…. and I've really tried to remember but…. who are you?" I felt a bit repetitive by asking.

The face of pure unbridled joy quickly vanished from her face and was replaced by an empty look that soon evolved into unimaginable sorry. Her green eyes seemed to dull and I felt a numbing pain seep into me. I didn't want to look at her face of disappointment. I looked away letting my black hair- which was much longer than I ever remembered- create a barrier between us.

"I'm sorry…." I said hesitantly.

"No," she said shaking her head and forcing a sad smile. "It's ok. I'm Sango."

"I have a family right? I remember bits and pieces of that… Mom, Dad, and a little brother…. are they here?" I ventured, itching to fix these gaping holes in my memory soon and change the subject.

Sango looked to be relieved that she wasn't the only one forgotten.

"They'll be here soon," she said with her swirling green eyes focusing lightly on my own. Her voice was so assuring and smooth.

"I remember…. just slightly… that we were in college together. All three of us," I spoke lightly, feeling just a bit tired. "But I guess I'm a year or so behind now."

InuYasha scoffed, bringing my attention back to him. I gave him a questionable look and his flaming amber eyes caused a blush to flail weakly across my cheeks.

"You happen to be very smart," he said looking across the room at Sango. "Don't worry about being behind. You were years ahead when you started college. And even that, you had already blown through some classes in the summer before the accident."

"Really? How old am I?"

"You'll be eighteen in a few months," he said tucking his silvery hair behind his ear.

"Man…" I was in awe. That meant I had started college at 15. What type of intellect would cause someone to make a jump that large?

"You have a photographic memory," Sango piped in, seemingly reading my mind. "Or you had one. I don't really know now."

"Excuse me," the nurse said politely sticking her head in. "Your family is here to see you."

I smiled, realizing she was talking to me.

Three people walked in, immediately striking some sort of response in my mind. A familiarity washed over me. An old man, too old to be anything but a grandfather to me, looked up with icy blue eyes. He smiled widely and I felt it tug at my heart.

My eyes then shifted to a woman, older than me with black hair and soft brown eyes. There were worry lines around her lips which seemed to disappear in the wake of her perfect smile. I knew in an instant that this woman was my mother.

A young boy, around the age of thirteen, with big brown eyes and short black hair dashed forward enveloping me in a comfortable hug. It was a great feeling- his arms around me- and I felt tears in my eyes at how hard this must've been for my little brother; for little Sota.

"Sota," I breathed lightly, feeling my eyes water at the thought. Maybe it was just the frustration of my hormones after being dormant for so long, or maybe it was the pained looks I was receiving from the five of them- whatever it was, I didn't know. All I knew was that I was crying. Crying hard.

**Author's Note:**

Ok, so that's the first chapter of my first fanfic! I'm pretty new at this writing thing, so please don't be too hard on me. Of course consrtuctive criticism is encouraged, but flat out burns will be deleted and ignored. Thank you, and review!


	2. Chapter 2: Out Of My Element

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians (More prominent later on...).

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a AFI sketch book and it's **_beast_.**

**Chapter 2: Out of My Element**

It had barely been a few days until I was well enough to leave the hospital. Within that week I became reacquainted with my body, now weakened due to the time I had spent in bed and not doing physical activity. Of course the physical therapy had maintained my muscle mass slightly, but it had obviously dwindled. I had lost a lot of weight. I planned immediately to get back to my cycling as soon as I was more coordinated. Not only that, but my face had changed too. The small amount of baby fat that I had held onto during my early teen years was no completely gone. A young woman stood in my place, much more matured.

InuYasha sat silently in the room, waiting for me to reemerge from the attached bathroom. I exited in clothes that were loosely fitting. I shied away lightly with a blush on my face feeling all the bit self conscious. Sango was nowhere in sight much to my surprise.

"Don't worry Kagome," he said in a smooth voice. "I think you're beautiful," he voiced, seemingly reading my mind.

My faced was engulfed in heat, and I muttered a quick thank you as he stood.

"Are you ready to leave this place behind and discover yourself?"

He was so good with words. Almost ever sentence he spoke made my heart melt just a fraction. I looked up hoping the raw emotion in my eyes wouldn't show so blatantly. He smirked, probably reading me easily.

"Well?" he questioned quickly standing at the door.

I nodded eager to find my old self and make my life what it used to be.

He shut the door behind us and we walked slowly towards the exit of the hospital to meet up with Sango who was at the front desk making sure the hospital got its closure.

Once we got outside I looked over at InuYasha just wanting to see his handsome face. He glanced down with his amber eyes and caught me looking. I felt trapped and his glance made my knees weak. I stumbled and he caught me- like he was supposed to.

I muttered a string of profanities causing him to laugh his familiar laugh.

"Here, let me help," he offered, slipping his arm around my waist. I blushed lightly but relaxed into his hard body enjoying his strong masculine scent. It was so familiar in an awkward way.

I looked up feeling the comfort leave my body suddenly as furious green eyes looked towards us. Hurt swirled in them momentarily as they focused on my blue. My steps faltered at the sight- I felt as if I had betrayed her in some way. My heart constricted painfully at the feeling. Tears worked in my eyes easily.

"What's wrong?" InuYasha asked looking up only to stop as well.

His arm dropped from my waist as she stormed forward.

"Get in her car," InuYasha said stepping away from me and allowing the woman to harshly grab his arm and pull him away.

I opened up the car and got in the backseat, leaving the door open to get some fresh air in the sweltering heat. Lying down, due to the weakness of my muscles and the fatigue that had suddenly set in, I shut my eyes trying to decipher the odd feelings I had experienced once seeing Sango's hurt expression and the pain I felt looking into her injured soul. I couldn't understand it at all and when the angry voices hit my ears I was even more distracted. I had unintentionally left a door open into their conversation.

"You're a fucking asshole, Yash," Sango's voice cracked, thick with tears.

"Sango, calm down," he tried. "Her muscles are weak. She stumbled and I offered to help."

"Don't you fucking lie to me. I know what you're up to. Don't fucking lie to me," she repeated.

"Cut the shit out Sango, I haven't done anything wrong!" he exclaimed, obviously getting frustrated.

"You don't know how hard it is for me. I've been waiting almost three fucking years only to have her forget who I am to her and then you try to move in?!" her voice livid, almost wild. "You'd better back the fuck off InuYasha! I mean it!"

"Look… I didn't mean anything by it," he spoke after a long moment of silence. "Please stop crying."

"Forget it," she sighed, her voice still thick with tears. "I'll just take the two of you home."

Tense moments of silence passed and I decided that pretending I was asleep was the best I could do in hopes of not making it so awkward for the two. The car started movement and I let my mind wander. Why was Sango so angry about him holding me? Was she in love with him? Were they… together? I realized there was so much I didn't know about them. It would be so much easier just to remember them. Why couldn't I remember Sango and InuYasha, or the fact that my father had died long ago leaving my grandfather and mother the job of taking care of Sota and me? But then, I remember Sota as if he were a song that I sung ever day and every night? It didn't make sense.

I sighed and sat up.

"You're awake." I looked up to see his amber focused on me through the rearview mirror before focusing back on the road.

"Yeah," I said softly looking through the window to the side mirror in hopes of seeing Sango's expression.

She had a soft look on her tanned face of reminiscence but her eyes were still pained and slightly reddened from obvious crying. She was staring at nothing in particular with possibly the prettiest green eyes known to man. I shut my eyes and let a shaky breath escape slowly through my slightly parted lips. Opening them again I found her to be examining my face closely. Pained confusion settled in on her face and I smiled in hopes of thwarting her depressing feelings. She merely looked away.

That had hurt more than it should have.

Sango got into the driver's seat once InuYasha parked the car at his house.

"I'll see you two later," he said, immediately hopping into his car which was parked right in front of Sango's.

The brunette wasted no time in peeling out of the boy's driveway in silence. I had moved to the front once she had gotten out of the car to drive and suddenly regretted the action. I seemed to be fighting every nerve and impulse in my body not to look at her. When I chanced a glance from the corner of my eye that same expression was on her face.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, obviously startling her as we stopped at a red light.

She was silent for a moment before looking over at me, obviously feeling her resolve not to tell me crumble beneath my intense stare. She sighed heavily then looked away.

"How you're," she paused and then shook her head deciding on a different approach. "You won't ever be you, no matter how much you remember. You're different now."

I frowned, finding the statement true and unnerving.

"Take a fish out of water, and it's still a fish, but it's not as graceful; not as captivating- out of its element."

"I understand," I said softly watching her solemn green eyes. I knew I could easily get lost in such deep green depths.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I'm just really upset about all of this."

"Is it something I did?" I questioned as the light turned green.

"No. Everything's my fault." Her eyes held that pained look as she concentrated on the road.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," I tried to reason.

"You don't know," she said with her voice hard with authority. "It was my fault you got hurt in that accident. And it's my fault for expecting so much from you when you finally woke up."

I watched painfully as a tear slipped down her cheek. I wanted so badly to reach over and wipe the tear away, but that was such an irrational thought. I didn't understand that impulse at all and I tried to bury that thought away.

She quickly swiped it away on her own. She parked in a driveway.

"This is your home until your intellect is strong enough to handle school again. Then we'll be sharing a dorm."

I nodded in response watching her hold me in her deep stare for a moment. An unreadable emotion flitted through her eyes for a quick instant. She seemed to lean forward a bit, but then stopped herself for a second. A light blush flashed across her cheeks and she reached forward and pulled me into such a familiar and comforting hug that caused me to sigh softly into the crook of her neck. It all felt so natural. I didn't want her to let go of me, ever.

She eventually pulled away.

"I'll try my best to get out here as often as I can," she said as I exited the car.

"That would be really nice Sango. Thank you," I said breathlessly, hoping to sort out my thoughts just a bit more once I got situated inside.

"I'll see you again soon Kagome."

I nodded and silently watched as she backed out of the long driveway and disappeared behind the gate of the yard. I let my mind fester on the way she had gentle uttered my name as the sound of her engine faded into the distance.

**Author's Note:**

Well, this is the second installment, just to get people looking. I'm pretty into this story right now, so another update will be up in due time. I apologize for errors (i don't have a beta. If anyone's interested, PM me) Reviews please.


	3. Chapter 3: I'm Staying In

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians (More prominent later on...).

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a **Nintendo 64** becaues oldskool _Nintendo is love_.

**Chapter 3: I'm Staying In**

The sun gleamed relentlessly through a crack in my window curtain shining directly on my face. I smiled as I sat, awake. Odd behavior? Yes, and it would seem only more extreme when it was revealed that I was the one who had woken earlier in the morning the day of my arrival to my current residence to position the lighting on my face. The thing was; I was afraid that I wouldn't wake up again when I went to sleep at night. I was _terrified_ of the possibility of me falling prey to my subconscious once again- of losing what I had gained through my days of being at home with my family.

After preparing myself for the day I was downstairs in a hurry to prepare breakfast; for my grandfather, mother, and brother. I smiled absentmindedly at the fact that I still remembered them. My retaining of memory was amazing. It scared me, even, to know that I could think back to things that had happened over the past week or two and have a high definition image in my mind. If I thought back to when I had last seen Sango and InuYasha I could recall every item of clothing on their body down to the number of eyelets in Yash's Converses, not including the two in the inside side of each red shoe. I could recall the small yellow jacket crawling on the wooden post just a few feet behind Sango. I could recall the deep look in her sad green eyes which was badly masked, may I say, with faux happiness.

I knew now what my intellect could produce and I understood why the doctors couldn't give me an estimate of time in which my memory would return. My mind was really a phenomenon and I could understand how its workings baffled them so. It baffled me as well and I took a seat in the kitchen after arranging the table for breakfast to think even harder and try to recall my bit of knowledge on the mind. I knew, due to the results of my just recently acquired SAT and ACT test results, that I still knew everything that had anything to do with what I had learned in school all those years back. Perfect scores, which were nearly impossible, had lay in my hands just the day before- results of the test that I had blown through just the week before. It made no sense that I couldn't recall my personal life- my family, my friends, my personal feelings towards people I reacted with…..

I really did try to figure it out. I searched my room through and through and racked what was left of my mind to figure out whether or not I had a diary. After leaving my room in shambles I lay on my bed with a terrifying headache.

_"You have a photographic memory babe; why would you need to keep a diary?" she said with a crookedly playful smirk on her wonderfully perfect lips._

Sango had said that phrase. She was right in her teasing, probably the product of a stupid request for a diary or notebook of some kind.

That memory had surged out from nowhere and my headache had intensified. I was so worried that I brought it to the attention of my mom.

"Kagome?" said woman questioned as she stepped down the stairs.

I looked up with a questioning look, finding it odd to see her when I had just been thinking about her.

"Have you finished your packing?" she asked, looking a bit forlorn at the mention of my soon departure.

"Yeah mom. I don't think I've forgotten anything," I said, hoping she wouldn't think I was trying to make bad memory jokes.

"I'm glad that you got to spend time with us after returning," she smiled lightly, causing my heart to warm. I was a bit on the fence with the way she had phrased that sentence- she had made it sound like I had been on a trip. But I guess it could've been viewed that way- a journey into darkness.

"I'm glad too, mom. Just spending this last week here has brought back a lot of memories of you, grandpa and Sota."

"I suppose I should go wake him so he can help us move you into your new dorm," she said eying the food that sat patiently on the table.

"Wait," I said suddenly, frowning at the thought of me not. "Wasn't I supposed to be sharing a dorm with Sango?"

"Of course honey," she said chuckling lightly. "It's pretty much a new dorm for her as well, so I just thought I should call it such."

I let my eyes do a quick once over of her face. Every single thing was in place- I smiled.

"I'm going to miss staying here- but if I plan to start out on life, I'd better stay at school."

"You were always hungry for knowledge Kagome," she said with a proud smile. "Always."

Hours later, we were filled with breakfast and nearing the school. The familiarity of the campus made my heart pound wildly. Anticipation coursed through my body at an alarming rate. It was like starting college all over again; that's what it felt like for me. I could only let my eyes take in everything, sometimes randomly noticing changes like the height of a tree, or the color of a building. New buildings had popped up between some of the old. Yes, this campus was definitely in my memory- who could really forget it? The architecture was that of the Gothic period. Large, stone, castle-like buildings loomed over beautifully surrounded by thin brush making you yearn to just lie outside beneath a tall tree's shade.

"It's beautiful," I breathed lightly, amazed.

"Yes honey, it is," my mother agreed as she parked her car. "I remember when you had come back home from a trip to visit this university when you started your senior year in high school. The moment you got back home, you declared this was the school you'd be attending. It's a private school, so you know I was a bit wary about you attending. But you worked hard and you got yourself a full-ride scholarship- a scholarship that's waiting for you to finish up what you started."

I nodded lightly, letting her words sink in as Sota charged ahead, already knowing where my dorm was from helping Sango move in along with her little brother-his best friend- Kohaku. I silently followed my mom, carrying the largest of my bags as I followed her. It had been a while since I had last seen Sango and I was anxious to see her.

When I walked in I saw her relaxing on her bed. The dorm was so small despite the fact it was about two times bigger than my bedroom at home- I knew it would be truly interesting to be living in such a close relationship with Sango. Her bunk was lowered and she could comfortably swing her legs over to get down to the floor. Her side of the room had Sango written all over it. A black and pink theme not only covered her comforter, but her entire space. An array of volleyball posters were mixed in with posters depicting martial arts and a few rock bands. A small number books had claimed their rightful place on her bookshelf and I was curious to know what the pages contained.

My loft, however, was raised to the highest and it had a beautiful blue and purple design, matching the theme for my half of the dorm. One of my heroes, Lance Armstrong, had a poster on my wall along with many different rock bands. A study table was just beneath my loft and atop it laid a familiar laptop with a small array of books. A television was set up just atop of our shared bureau and a Nintendo Wii sat beside the VCR. I loved it.

"I set it up to be like how you had planned it to be for out first year," she said, finally looking up from her text book. "Hopefully, it might trigger some of your memories."

"I love it," I finally breathed, glad to know that she had put time and effort into making this perfect for me. "Thank you Sango."

"No problem," she said glancing around the room, looking at everything possible- just to not make eye contact with me.

My mother and Sota stayed for only about an hour to make sure I would get settled in well enough. When they were finally finished fussing over me they left, only after I promised to visit home anytime I could. After that, an awkward silence filled the room.

"Sango," I started hesitantly, gaining an acknowledging glance.

"Yeah?" she asked, urging me to continue.

"Do we have any classes together?"

She was silent for a bit, pulling her lower lip up into her mouth and nibbling on before releasing it. Heat stirred in my stomach and I felt a blush rush rapidly across my face. What she just did…. was so….. hot? I frowned suddenly, at the thought. I wasn't seriously thinking that was I? But I was, wasn't I? There was no denying the thundering of my heart and the sudden heat in my body just by watching her take her lip between her teeth.

"Kagome?"

I jumped, startled and praying with everything in my body that she wasn't one of those rare psychics. Hey, any freaky thing could happen- I mean, I have a photographic memory.

"Are you ok?" she asked with true concern swirling deep in her eyes as she hesitantly focused on me.

"Y-yeah… I just spaced out a bit," I mumbled, trying to relinquish some of her attention.

"Just making sure," she said with a voice as smooth as silk. "Anyways, I asked if you had your schedule from Student Relations and Placement."

"Yeah," I said jumping up and towards my desk in hopes of escaping her analyzing green eyes. I rummaged through the drawer, disappointed in already seeing it was starting to get messy. I made my way towards her bed and handed her my schedule just anxious to hear hers, because I already knew my schedule my heart.

She started to look over it then sighed and looked up towards me.

"Would you like to take a seat?" she patted a spot on her bed just next to her.

"Thanks," I said feeling that my legs were still very weak from my hibernation.

"Sure," she said, brushing it off as nothing.

I hopped up on the bed and slipped my legs off the side positioning myself very close to a cross-legged Sango accidentally. I was suddenly very aware of how short cut her shorts were revealing powerful thighs that looked wonderfully tanned next to my thin pale legs. The sweet scent of berries hit my nose and I knew it was her hair that I had caught a whiff of. Suddenly my palms felt damp and my breathing constricted. I knew my face was redder than it could possibly be. I glanced over, hoping with all my power that she wouldn't notice my current status or hear my racing heart.

"Well," she said, finally coming to a conclusion. "We only have Chemistry independent studies together in the afternoons, and you have several classes with InuYasha."

"O-oh," I stuttered, my emotions smothering me mercilessly. "W-where is InuYasha anyways?" I asked hoping to escape the small enclosure. He was the perfectly handsome guy to dissuade my mind from these sinful thoughts about my roommate. They just weren't right and they needed to be dispelled at once.

She looked up at me with a scrutinizing look. I looked away, not wanting to see the other emotions drowning in her deep green eyes.

"I can tell you where his dorm is," she offered, flopping back into a laying position the moment I stood form her bed.

"Aren't you coming?"

"You're kidding right Kags; it's Sunday- I'm staying in."

**Author's Note:**

**I decided to update tonight instead of tomorrow becaue I'll be getting home way late due to a volleyball match. So, here's your update. This chapter seemed very rushed to me, for some reason despite it's length. I'm still trying to build the plot a little more and do more character development before I seriously focus on the problem. --As you see, Kagome doesn't really want to accept her obvious feelings for Sango because she doesn't understand them all too well. So basically, she's in denial.-----In the next chapter, Miroku will come into play and Kagome will start to gravitate towards InuYasha in a romantic kind of way. [ I know, 'tis sad. I have lots of ideas in my mind for the next few chapters already so please REVIEW! Seeing the little alerts in my inbox really does warm my heart in ways it hasn't been all too lately. Thank you for the inspiration. The next update will probably come around friday or saturday. So once again, REVIEW and I apologize for the slightly boring chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4: That BandAid Suites You

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own 3 pairs of Mizuno _spandex_, because we all know sexy people play _volleyball_- and look sexy doing it too.

**Chapter 4: That Band-Aid Suites You**

I looked up into surprised blue- seemingly violet, eyes. Before me stood a cute black haired man with a devilish smirk on his lips. Suddenly, I found myself in his embrace with his hand _way_ too far down on my back.

"Kagome, dear- how are you fairing today fair maiden? It's so good to finally see my princess up and about," he whispered seductively in my ear with his hand slipping lower and lower. I didn't know how I was feeling at the moment, but I knew _what_ he was….

My eyes widened and I felt a stuttered word form on my lips. Suddenly he was pulled away and my thoughts reformed themselves. Anger slipped through me easily. My hand, swift and flat, found its way onto his awaiting face harshly.

"Ow, ow, ow," he whined, sulking off in the corner suddenly with judging eyes.

"Miroku," InuYasha berated the man with an annoyed look on his face. "Chill with that."

His deep amber eyes turned to me and I blushed, embarrassed about what had just happened.

"I'm sorry about that," he said shaking his head and grabbing my hand. I felt my heart pick up speed just a bit. "This is Miroku, my roommate. He was a good friend of yours before you lost your memory."

"That would explain why he's so familiar." Or just overly friendly with me.

How could I possibly forget the world's biggest pervert?

"Oh, Kagome, I'm so glad you remember me!" he exclaimed, jumping up to hug me. InuYasha tripped him before he got close enough and he stumbled but quickly caught himself. "Why so stern 'Yash?" he questioned.

"Nothing," he grunted, looking suddenly indifferent. "Kagome, would you like to go for a walk?"

I blushed and nodded, hoping to spend a bit more time with him- but not in his dorm.

"Let's go," he said starting for the door. "We'll see you later Miroku," he said without looking back to see Miroku stop suddenly in mid-step.

I gave Miroku an apologetic look and allowed InuYasha to pull me out of the door. We walked a bit slower once we got outside, still hand in hand. My mind churned over things to ask him and after a moment of deep introspective questioning I decided on one to ask.

"InuYasha?"

"Yeah?" he answered gently, causing my heart to speed up.

"Do you like Sango?"

He blushed deeply and chanced a handsome smile.

"Well…. No. Why do you ask?"

"She doesn't really like when I spend time with you," I tried, thinking back to the glares she had shot at his back when we were all together.

"…. Sango's really protective," he said with a hesitancy laced within his punk-ish voice. "She doesn't want my attention to hinder you from regaining your memories. Or she doesn't want your new experiences to put the memories you regain on the backburner."

"How would attention stop my memories from returning?" I asked, truly confused about what he was trying to say.

"I like you Kagome. I have liked you for a long time, but…. before the accident I really couldn't tell you. If I act on this feeling now, it might distract your mind from other things…. so…." he trailed off, looking withdrawn again. Sighing he smiled. "I'm just really glad that you're finally remembering things."

I nodded, finding my mouth dry from his confession. How could he be so sure of himself? I envied his self-confidence, finding it hard to even gain the attention of my peers when in a discussion. I didn't remember myself this timid, but I just couldn't cause myself to be any bolder than I was so I lived with it. I did want to be more aggressive however- it would come in handy. For example, Miroku would be sprawled on the floor before he could even cop a good feel.

"What would you do if I said I liked you back?" I asked, feeling as if my tongue had gotten tangled in my throat. He looked at me with a hard look on his face- he looked disappointed.

"I would say that I love you… but it just wouldn't work out. Not until you have all of your memories back."

I spent the rest of the day with InuYasha, just hanging out and talking. He revealed more of himself to me and I felt my mind churning and remembering things from time to time as his voice carried on through my ears easily. I was really grateful to have a friend that would recall important moments with me so I could attempt to remember them. I didn't know what I would do without him.

The next few days I settled into my college life. I went to classes and met new people, I got into heated discussions with my classmates and professors, I went to clubs- all in all I had fun. I was really enjoying myself, but I couldn't dispel a certain feeling that just kept creeping up on me at all times of the day. A feeling that I was forgetting something so intensely important that my whole life was out of whack because of it. What this thing was, whatever it was, was obviously something important and it was figuratively grinding on my nerves because I could not remember this important factor. Any free moment I had, I'd try to recall old memories- but to no avail.

One night, nearly two months into my stay at school, I sat alone in the dorm just thinking. Suddenly, I knew it had something to do with Sango- it was something about the time she spent with me that just wasn't right…. but why? I glanced at the digital clock we shared that sat on the dresser in front of the window. It was nearly eleven-o'clock at night. Where was she? It instantly occurred to me that I was worried- restless. Where could she have gone? She was usually in the dorm by the time I got back at ten, but she was a whole hour late. I picked up the phone and called her cell phone.

It went straight to voicemail.

I stood, debating whether or not to alert our neighbors about her absence but the door opened and she stepped in.

I immediately noticed the blood on her t-shirt and I jumped up with worry written all over my face.

"Oh, god, Sango," I started, walking up to her. "What happened?"

She looked surprised but then truly happy to see me- or possibly how worried I was. The gentle smile on her lips brought the bright green band-aid on her nose to my attention. This surprised me; I was usually very attentive- what was wrong with me?

"I broke my nose," she said with a nasal voice.

"How?" I asked, taking her bag from her.

"Volleyball practice," she said, eying my worriedly. "Are you ok Kags?"

That's when I finally noticed her long white socks and kneepads.

"S-since when did you play volleyball?" I questioned, feeling stupid for not noticing. How could I have not noticed where she had been going nearly every night? What kind of friend was I? I tried to find something- anything- to blame my inattentiveness on, but to no avail. I felt miserable inside. I felt as if I had failed her- as if I had failed myself and my duty to be her best friend.

"I started playing the first year you were in the hospital…. I needed something to fill my empty time with. Who would've known I would be good at it."

"Oh," I said softly, glancing away from her deep green eyes. "I didn't notice," I said, feeling my mood drop even more.

"How could you have noticed? You've been spending so much time with 'Yash." Her voice, though already odd, held a cold bitter edge to it and I didn't like that one bit.

I looked up to see her walk past me to set her things down on her bed. My eyes instantly trailed up her perfect legs to rest on her spandex clad backside. I blushed and willed my eyes away, feeling an awkward heat course through me.

"I'm sorry," I said as she sat down on her bed and brought her foot up to her other knee to remove her shoes.

"It's ok," she said, lying horribly. "You like him, right?"

I frowned, not wanting to answer that. She had forced herself so hard to say that that I didn't feel the need to answer it- I knew I would hurt her if I did. Of course I liked him but…. It didn't feel right. He wasn't the one who had filled my life before the accident and I was determined to figure out who had. Every time I tried to ask either of the two, they'd tell me that they couldn't tell me or change the subject. This infuriated me to no end.

"Kagome?"

I looked up, embarrassed that I had let myself get so wrapped up in my thoughts. That had been happening a lot lately. My eyes caught sight of that green band-aid, contrasting greatly with the deep dark green of her eyes and her perfectly tanned skin.

"That band-aid suites you…. the color," I said softly.

She looked confused, but let a relieved smile touch her lips.

After that night I tried my best to spend as much time as I could with Sango- I suddenly found myself near her every moment I had. I dreaded the moments she had to go to volleyball practice, leaving me alone in the dorm to study. But that dread would melt away the moment she stepped through the door sporting a different band-aid than before to cover the stitches caused by one of the metal poles that held the net up. I had asked her, after she had explained how the collision had happened, why the pole hadn't been padded. She explained that during practice, the polls weren't padded. I said it was stupid, she said that it was unnecessary.

One night, I lay in bed thinking about the weekend that was approaching. I'd finally be able to spend more time with Sango. At first, I hated being around her too much. I found that it was just the frustration of her knowing and understanding me more than I did. We'd often go out to eat and I'd order something and she'd tell me not to get it, because she knew I wouldn't like it. I would then stubbornly argue back that she didn't know what I liked and didn't like, and then when the food came, I'd hate what I ordered. She'd always- very lucky for me might I add- order exactly what I loved at the certain restaurant and we'd share. I sighed tiredly, finding her knowledge of me a bit odd but appreciate it all the same. She knew more about me than InuYasha; that was a given. I was fine, if this would be the ultimate end, to never regain my memory but learn things slowly with Sango- I could care less about what was lost.

Moments later, after trying to wait up for Sango by reading I feel into a deep sleep sporting a very weird dream.

_My breathing increased intensely as warm arms wrapped around my waist. I blushed hotly, feeling a near completion that I had been waiting for forever. I pulled down the head of my embracer almost smashing my lips to theirs but then I stopped suddenly. Glancing to my right I spotted InuYasha watching with unfathomable amber eyes. I lifted my eyebrows a degree and he gave an approving nod before looking away and breaking eye contract. I looked back at my captor, up into their deep green eyes. Relief from- what felt like years of- waiting was nearly about to be awarded. Very slowly I pulled soft pink lips towards me into a gentle kiss- a kiss that made my knees weak. A kiss sweeter than what I had been expecting; a kiss that warmed my soul and body. Suddenly I pulled away, due to a feeling on my lower back._

_I turned quickly, swinging a fist behind me. It connected with something hard and my eyes widened at the sight of Miroku cradling his cheek in his hand with a perverted grin on his face_

_"There's a party in my pants, and you're invited," he said slyly with a mischievous glint in his dark eyes._

_For some unknown reason he was wearing Sango's volleyball outfit, spandex and all- this alarmed me and I jumped. I suddenly felt I was slipping off the edge and a falling feeling encased my feeble form. I scream ripped itself from my lips and pain coursed through my head when it suddenly stopped._

I opened my eyes to find my blurred vision obscured by jumping black dots crawling over my conscious like swarming ants. The darkness overtook me and I felt my senses die.

**Author's Note:**

**The week is finally over and I'm free to do whatever because of my lack of homework this weekend (Thank god for tests on friday). Well, this chapter is a bit shorter than the last. Still a bit boring as well. I promise to update as soon as I can. Sorry about the cliff hanger, but I decided what was coming next NEEDED to be inthe next chapter. ---****so review please and tell me what you think. D**

**PS: and sorry about what Miroku said there... it's kind of an inside joke with a few of my friends. XD**


	5. Chapter 5: Definately Not Waiting

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a fox tail, because Natives in Alaska are very friendly once you get to talking to them.

**Chapter 5: Definately Not Waiting**

_Swirling deeper and deeper into the darkness, I lost the horrific pain that was pulsating in my head. As the pain ebbed away I watched as images filled my mind. I spotted myself in each one and I wondered what they were- home movies? That's what they looked like; amateur videos of me. I was watching them, the images, and I felt enlightenment fill me as I rotated and let all of the pictures enter my mind. Slowly, one by one, the thousands of images flickered away until they were no more. Darkness swallowed me whole._

_"Oh god, Kagome…." A light voice cried softly._

A voice thick with tears met my ears as the pounding in my head returned fully. I groaned, feeling ridiculously frustrated by the fact that I couldn't stop the pain no matter what I did. Working hard, I opened my eyes. Instantly, I spotted green eyes displaying emotions of frustration, worry, and self-loathing through a window of tears.

"Sango?"

"Yeah Kags, it's me," she said in serious relief due to the fact that I still remembered her and that I was awake. The smell of clean invaded my senses and I knew I was in a hospital. She smiled at me lightly as the nurse walked in. A few more tears slipped down her cheeks recklessly.

"What happened to me?" I asked, not understanding.

"I don't know for sure," she said gently taking my hand as I flinched at the pulsating pain in my head, "but they say you fell off your loft and hit you head. You got a concussion."

"Honey, sorry to interrupt, but would you like some pain killers for when we release you?" the nurse questioned as she held her pen to her clip board.

I tried to nod but found that action an evil action indeed. With my eyes narrowing at the pain and I muttered a soft,"Yes."

She nodded and exited the room writing away on the paper.

I looked back up at Sango to find that blank expression on her face. She was staring ahead not moving with tears just falling out of her open eyes. She looked like a work of art just sitting in a great museum. But this wouldn't be a piece I could look at for too long due to the sorrow. Looking at it would slowly kill me inside.

"Sango, it's ok. I'm fine now," I said, attempting to smile and lift her sour mood.

"God damn it Kagome, you got hurt because I was…." She trailed off, not being able to find the words. Her tears continued strongly.

"It's ok Sango."

"No it's not Kags. God knows how long you were just lying there, slowly losing your conscious. I should've been there to help."

"Sango-"

"Don't fucking tell me otherwise!" She groaned, openly frustrated with the situation. I frowned, feeling numb inside to see her like this. I wished to never ever see her like this again. "Look, I'll leave you alone so you can rest. I'll be back soon."

She left- she left me alone. That night, sleep evaded me, not giving me a chance to leave the pain-emotional and physical- behind in vivid dreams.

After Sango returned and picked me up the next day I could tell something was seriously wrong. First off, she reeked of the disgusting scent of cigarettes and she looked tired. Second, she was just too silent. I felt a pang of guilt to know that I had caused her to act the way she was. I was way too careless.

"Sango?" I asked as I sat in an awkward silence watching her try to relax on her bed. I had just gotten off of the phone with my mother, who was fussing over me desperately.

"Yeah?" she answered, not looking at me or even opening her eyes.

"It's not your fault," I tried, hoping to get at least a reaction- anything would be better than the lack of response she was giving me. I just wanted to see her pretty green eyes reflect a smile to me; I wanted her to focus those wonderful eyes on me- that was all I wanted. She effortlessly ignored me and rolled onto her side, facing away from me. I felt tears sting my eyes and I crawled on top of my bed, which had been lowered by InuYasha and Miroku after they heard about the accident, and tried my best to fall asleep. It failed- I was awake for the majority of the night due to worry invoked insomnia.

Sango's attitude only worsened as the days went by. I finally got fed up by the way she was acting and decided that if she wanted to start talking to me again, _she_ could start the conversation. It wasn't worth the pain of rejection to even attempt. I stopped spending time with her, opting to spend time with another close friend I knew named Rin. Rin was probably the shortest female at the whole university and was very- sorry, I don't know any other way to put it but- down to earth. Despite her size, however, Rin was mature and outspoken. It was as if she used her voice and overall presence to make up for her vertical absence. I think I connected well with Rin because she was a freshman and just my age.

"Rin, who is it that you're dating again?" I asked remembering her mention someone a few days ago.

"Sesshomaru," she said with a hot blush spreading relentlessly beneath her soft brown eyes.

"Hmm… I don't think I know him," I mumbled, trying to fit a face to the name but to no avail.

"He's actually InuYasha's older brother," she said as she tucked some of her black hair behind her ear. "Speaking of InuYasha," she started, probably in hopes of leading the conversation away from the topic of her love life.

"Yeah, what about him?"

"He seems to be very fond of you," she said with a knowing smile.

"I know," I sighed.

She hesitated before speaking. "You… you don't seem enthusiastic at all."

"I know," I sighed, even more frustrated with myself.

"Kagome… what's the problem?"

"When I got a concussion…. I kind of… had a large chunk of my memory come back. After that, every time I fall asleep, more of it will come back to me rapidly. There was someone before I fell into a coma," I said breathlessly in a light voice.

"Really?" Rin gasped with wide eyes. "You're kidding right?"

I shook my head, really debating on whether or not to risk my friendship with Rin and tell her who it was. Would Rin be as accepting as she seemed? I didn't know, and I was terrified of the answer. I was afraid of how my friend would react. I was afraid of how _I_ would react.

"My god Kagome! And this guy…. has he said anything to you about it?" I looked away from Rin's wide and surprised eyes.

Once again I shook my head, losing my voice the moment Rin spoke her sentence. Her subject was all wrong. Guy?

"Do something about it," Rin said with finality after pondering it for a moment.

"But I don't know how to go about doing it; I don't know how to bring it up," I whispered, feeling the wind pick up lightly.

"What if he's waiting for you to remember?!"

"No," I shook my head softly. "Definitely not waiting…. definitely not."

Oh no- my hope for finding that person had been demolished. She was definitely not waiting for me anymore and I would soon set that decision in stone when I got to my dorm that night.

Later that night, I trudged up to our dorm tiredly. It had taken a while to finally get Rin to leave the subject alone. I made some empty promises about telling 'him' about my memory returning. Truth be told, Rin was the only one I told about the sudden appearance of the memories and I planned to keep it that way until I could sort my mind out. I planned to keep it that way until I was sure my lover would feel the same way; wouldn't be offended. Who knew, it was a possibility things changed while she was waiting.

When I opened the door, however, I was in for the shock of my life.

**Author's Note:**

**Argh, I know! Another cliff hanger. xx They're getting old, huh? And it's so frustrating that Kagome finally rememers and Sango decides to be a bitch. (And guess what, it just gets worse! ) [ Well, that's the update for now. I'm sorry it's a bit pitiful. I just got back from a volleyball match and I'm tired and I have TONS of homework. TT But I decided to update because I'm going on a trip this weekend with my family to Florida and I'm sure making you wait that long will make you hate me forever, and I don't want that. My day's been pretty shit, so reviews will make it a WHOLE lot better. Thanks. And those of you who faved and didn't review, shame on you. **

**[And just to note, Kagome's hesitance to tell Sango about what she feels isn't really the problem to what she's reasoning. It's because she isn't sure of herself. She'll get over that in a few chapters though, I promise. And then she'll be carefree like she should be.**

**Special thanks to _cutepuplover_ for just being cool. D Oh yeah, and my sister for giving me the idea of this chapter; without her falling from her loft at school and getting a concussion, this chapter wouldn't have been possible. XD ****Until next time...**


	6. Chapter 6: It's Hard To Accept

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a violin and the original sheetmusic for _Orpheus in the Underworld _and I totally love playing it. XD Playing _Themes From The Moldau _makes me smile as well.

**Chapter 6: It's Hard To Accept**

You know….. It's pretty funny, the way your mind works when there aren't any distractions. You can retreat into yourself completely and allow the works of your mind to actually build themselves in your head when you're alone. That can be good, yes, but having all that time to yourself isn't completely healthy. Your thoughts will wander onto topics that you don't want it to; onto memories you'd rather bury for good and not think about until the day you die. I, unfortunately, had days like that everyday after walking in on Sango.

That night was probably one of the most uncomfortable and numbing nights of my life- even more so than getting into that accident and damaging the precious pieces of my memory.

_My heart pounded dangerously hard as I got the first glimpse of the tangled limbs on Sango's bed. A smooth tanned back, glistening with sweat, was what I processed first; then the long dark brown hair cascading perfectly down the previously mentioned back. Beneath this body I saw pale skin, smooth and also covered in sweat. Surprised light green- almost turquoise- eyes peered at me between perfectly thick eyelashes. Flaming red hair was fanned out beautifully on the bed._

_Slowly, Sango glanced back with darkened green eyes questionably. The blush finally caught up with my heart and I felt my face burn hotly. So hot that, I began to sweat. She still peered at me- cocking and eyebrow upwards, looking for movement from me- looking for some sort of reaction. My mouth fell open and I fumbled with my words trying to keep my eyes from straying over their naked bodies._

_"E-excuse me," I stuttered with tears burning my eyes vengefully. I quickly backed out of the room and shut the door, breathing heavily with thoughts racing in my head recklessly._

After that, Sango was never at the dorm anymore and I could never work up enough courage to ask her why- to ask her why she was avoiding me. I felt tears burn my eyes again at the thought and I sighed tiredly. It had been nearly a whole week since the incident and I could barely make head or tails of the situation I was in. I had wanted to tell Sango what I felt about her, but I was at first worried if she would be accepting of them. Now I know her sexual preferences, but she's already got a girlfriend…. or so I thought.

Truthfully, I had never seen that girl before in my life. I didn't know her name, and I didn't know who she was. I wasn't around Sango long enough to get to that conversation and whenever I saw the red-head I could never gather enough brazen attitude to approach and question her. She was frightening to me…. she looked dangerous in a way I couldn't explain. But I wasn't sure of the magnitude of their relationship. Well, I understood the magnitude between the two women physically, but I didn't know of their emotional bond… The other woman, she had a boyfriend. He was in my calculus class with InuYasha. I knew him vaguely because he would always cause trouble with 'Yash by hitting on me. This baffled me, however. I didn't understand how this girl could have a boyfriend, who she was obviously dating, but yet he'd flirt with me and she'd sleep with Sango. And it was obvious that Sango knew as well; she'd often break up their make out sessions to talk briefly with the red-head.

I had been lying on my bed after finishing up my homework quickly allowing these thoughts to visit me in my time of quiet. I had wanted to visit Rin, but I knew she was out with Sesshomaru, who I remembered- as of recently- after I had gotten all memories of back. I remembered that I had hated him when I first met him. He, as a step-brother to InuYasha, was a pain in the ass every time Sango and I would go visit….. Sango, oh why now? Why did my thoughts always painfully find their way onto the topic of my gorgeous green eyed friend? I felt my lungs constrict painfully- or it could've been my heart. I didn't know…

I was ridiculously confused and decided I needed to get out of the room. Swinging my legs over the side of my bed I slipped my flip-flops on and decided to get a breath of fresh air out on the steps. I grabbed my phone and opened up the door. On my way down the steps I stopped suddenly once spotting Sango and the red-head heading up the steps hand in hand. I scooted over to the side to allow them to pass and subconsciously shut my eyes in an attempt to not watch them. I knew if I made eye contact with either of them, I would break down. Once the sound of feet climbing stopped I opened up my eyes to find playful aquamarine eyes peering at me.

"Hi, I'm Ayame," the woman said with a friendly smile. I noted that her flowing red hair was currently being held up into twin pigtails, giving her an innocent look and destroying all of the thoughts of her being dangerous in my head. Sango was nowhere to be seen; why would she be- she had been avoiding me all week, why stop now?

_"Don't fall for it Kagome," I reminded myself. "It's all an illusion. She's an evil demon inside….she's been the one tormenting your mind by indirectly tormenting your heart."_

Suddenly her smile faltered and I realized she had been waiting to shake my hand. It was probably rude of me to give her that empty stare, but what was I supposed to do? I could barely think straight by having her standing there, staring expectantly at me with badly hidden anger dancing in her eyes.

"Hi," I managed offering a trembling hand in response.

She took it and gave it a gentle shake and gave me a smug smile. I was a bit worried- I was shaking so badly and my lip had started to tremble as well. I was on the verge of a breakdown, teetering on the edge of destruction. I didn't want to fall apart in front of her; I didn't want to give her that satisfaction. I definitely didn't want her to have that hold on me- that vice grip of doomed embarrassment. I wouldn't allow her the pleasure of my tears.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Kagome," she tried slyly. "Sango used to talk a lot about you, but she doesn't anymore. She barely mentions you, but I don't really care because I never really liked your name- it's too close to mine."

"I was on my way out," I pressed out, not wanting to even look at her any longer. _"What a bitch,"_ I rushed down the steps, out of the building, and collapsed in the grass beneath the stars shining brightly through the darkness of the night. Rolling onto my back, I covered my eyes with my hands in hopes that the action would stop the impending tears but my actions were in vain. I silently cried in the darkness, oblivious to my hearts captor watching from the window of our room. The grass was sharp and itchy but I was far too weak to pick myself up- I was too weak to leave the crickets alone in their habitat. The wound that weakened me was far too deep- it was a fatal wound to the heart.

I eventually stood and blindly trudged my way across the campus and found myself standing in front of InuYasha's dorm. I looked at my phone and realized I had been walking around the campus for nearly two hours. I lifted my hand and weakly knocked on the door. I stood there for a little while, wondering if I had knocked loud enough to wake one of the two. I was just about to knock again when the door opened and the dim light of the hallway illuminated a stream of light down InuYasha's body which was a product of him only cracking the door open wide enough to see who it was. His tired eyes widened a bit and then they narrowed as his eyebrows dipped down into a scrutinizing look.

"What happened?" he asked as he let me in and noticed the tears still dripping down my face.

I struggled to speak but found that I couldn't even word my problem. I shook my head, feeling even more pathetic and useless. Tears hurried down my cheeks and InuYasha sighed and gently wrapped his arms around me. I let him pull me to his naked chest crying softly into his hard muscled flesh. After a while of crying, I finally calmed down because there were no more tears left.

"Come on," he said softly. "You can wash your face off, and then we can try to talk, ok?"

I nodded and followed him to the bathroom where he waited patiently and silently for me to finish up. After returning to the dorm we sat in silence as he waited for me to be ready.

"Do you think you can talk tonight?"

I shook my head, feeling like a small child being comforted because their parents were going on a short overnight trip.

"Do you want me to take you back to your dorm?" he asked hesitantly, probably already figuring out what the problem was.

"N-no," I said, finally finding my voice. "I c-can't." I felt tears sting my eyes again and I sighed weakly. Shaking my head I repeated myself," No."

InuYasha sighed, and glanced over at Miroku who slept deeply in the other bed.

"I guess you can stay here," he said pointing over at his bed tiredly.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled as I got into his bed and pressed myself against the wall in hopes of making enough room for him.

"Whoa, wait a second Kagome… I can't sleep with you."

"Please, InuYasha," I begged as he fought a short internal war. He sighed and slipped into the bed.

I turned to face him and rested my forehead against the bare skin of his chest, getting comfortable. I fell asleep instantly, ridiculously tired from crying.

When I woke up, InuYasha had his warm arms wrapped loosely around me. I glanced around and tilted my head up to find InuYasha peering down at me with calculating amber eyes. I blushed after getting an eyeful of his perfectly sculpted chest and his face, which wasn't hidden behind his bangs due to the fact that he had his hair pulled back.

"We need to talk," he said gently.

"I know," I said tediously.

He was silent for a moment, probably trying to figure out what was going on.

"What exactly is the problem?" he asked allowing me to sit up.

"I…. I love Sango." I hesitated; afraid he'd throw me away from him. He nodded his head, and I realized this was nothing new to him. This was the exact reason he had told me how he felt and how he felt we should be with each other. Just friends- like brother and sister.

"Well then, I don't understand why you're here."

"She was….. Oh, I don't know 'Yasha," I said, finally feeling anger slip sporadically into me. "I'm here because she's probably sleeping peacefully in her bed with that whore she fucks every fucking night!"

His eyes widened and I looked away with angry tears in my eyes. I felt abused and useless and I didn't know why. Suddenly the tears beat me in my battle to hold them back and I heaved an aggravated sigh and swiped hatefully at them. I hated the numbness crying brought over my body. It wasn't fair. I just didn't understand why I had to suffer.

"You haven't told her," he said, more than questioned. "But why Kags?! Why put yourself through this?"

"I wasn't sure that-"

"She was a lesbian?!" he cut in, wiping the tears from my cheeks swiftly. "It doesn't matter Kags. She is, ok? Just tell her how you feel; I can't stand to see you like this. It irritates me."

"It's not that InuYasha," I sighed and pushed his hand from my face, upset to see him fussing over me the way he was. "I wasn't sure of _myself_. It's not everyday you wake up and suddenly you realize you like your best friend, who's the same sex as you, and want to be more than just best friends. It scares me InuYasha! I'm a queer! It's hard to accept, so don't make it harder for me. I came for support; try to have patience with me."

His eyes softened considerably, honey gold, as I wiped at my eyes a bit more.

"I'm sorry for getting upset Kagome, but before all this shit with your memory happened, Sango and I were kind of not very good friends for a while because of you. We both love you; you have to understand where that put us as acquaintances. We argued and quarreled over you and in the end you made your choice; you wanted Sango over me. I respected that decision so I let you two be. You loved her, she loved you. I wanted you to be happy, that's all Kagome. I made her promise she'd never hurt you. Having you come to me last night, crying yourself into incoherent speech doesn't play well with me.

"If push comes to shove, I'll speak to her for you; but right now, I want you to talk to her yourself. I'll give you time."

I smiled fondly at InuYasha. He blushed and looked away with a face that made him seem surprised with himself.

"InuYasha," I called gently.

He slowly looked at me and I pulled him to me for a hug.

"Thank you," I said kissing his chest, right over his heart before laying my head in that exact spot. His heartbeat was strong and at a solid pace. I could only hope that mine was still functioning enough for me to gather the courage from deep inside to confess to Sango.

**A/N:**

**Awww, isn't 'Yash such a good friend?! I wish I had a friend like that, who I could depend on and pour myself out to when stuff gets tough at home and in life. Well anyways: despite the fatigue caused by getting home from the trip at 2am and waking up at 5:30 to go to school for a student council meeting at 7, I had an awesome day. I'm running on extra energy stores and I thought I should update before I crashed for today because this week will be crazy. It's spirit week at school (yay... yeah, that's sarcasm) and we've got a big game against our rivals at home tomorrow for volleyball. I've also tried to establish an anime club and get some of that stuff done before homecomming. Friday's my b-day so i'm pretty much skipping school to get my permit because I'll _FINALLY_ be 15. Yay for me! And then after that, I'm spending the weekend at my sister's dorm because if I stay at ****home it'll be the crappiest ever. (as you can tell, i don't like being at home) but that means this might be the last update until next week, I'll see what I can do to update earlier, maybe wednesday.**

EXTRA: I'm debating on whether or not to start a Naruto yuri fic... I think I have a pretty solid story, but I'll start that after I'm nearing the end of this one.

also: this story wasn't actually supposed to be fanfic. i was originally going to write it out more and make it an online comic (I had characters and everything! XD). So if later in your years you find an online comic with the same plot, you know it's me. XD

greenmandm (you are quite the perceptive one.) Special thanks to my **returning** readers and reviewers: Edge-Keen Blade, cutepuplover, and Xforever fallingX (my faithful anonymous reviewer)

**Thank you, and review.**


	7. Chapter 7: Tears Were Wiped Away

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a Naruto ninja _Leaf Village **headband**_, because all otaku must have one.

**Chapter 7: Tears Were Wiped Away**

I sat silently with a sketch book in my lap and a pencil in my hand as Sango did her school work on her bed. I had noticed she had been hanging around the dorm more, but still refused to speak to me. I felt aggravation rip through me as I glanced up at her. I didn't even remember when we started acting this way towards each other, or why. All I remember was me falling off the loft and then her strange attitude. I sighed lightly, causing her to flinch a bit at the sudden noise. I mumbled an apology, but she hadn't looked up from her work so I didn't bother to say it any louder.

Letting a breath of air escape from my lips noisily I looked down at what I had been sketching. There on my paper, Sango lay perfectly still with a content smile on her lips and two sheets of paper lying on the bed beside her- one of which being my schedule.

_"You're kidding right Kags; it's Sunday- I'm staying in."_

It seemed like just a few days before she was smiling and happy; like just a few days ago that hopeful glint was still in her beautiful green eyes and that permanent upward tilt was still on her perfect lips. I frowned and shut the book, unable to look at it physically and opted to recall the moment mentally.

Running my fingertips along the cover of the book I thought back to when I had the sudden impulse to buy it from one of the campus bookstores. My memories presented my talent of art just minutes after purchasing the green and white book- and then, just days after, it was nearly filled. That didn't bug me one bit; what irritated me was the fact that every memory of Sango that I could recall up to a certain point, I'd suddenly find myself subconsciously sketching it in neat lines across the paper. Even memories that weren't recent would somehow find themselves on the paper and I would have no recollection of drawing them. The ones that would surprise me most were the nudes….. I could imagine her perfect curves accentuated nicely by smooth hard muscle. No; there was no way I could imagine something so perfect- I knew that I had seen her naked before the incident with Ayame. It made me seriously question how deep our relationship was before the accident.

My mind made it seem serious, but maybe it wasn't. If we had really been together the way parts of my memory would flash in my mind- those hot kiss filled nights- wouldn't she have waited for me? She definitely wouldn't be messing around with Ayame if she were truly faithful. Maybe I felt emotions for her that she wouldn't dream of returning. Maybe it was a one-sided relationship; maybe she was in it only for the sex. I frowned at the last thought; but it was a possibility that I'd have to live with. If sex was all that I was to her, then so be it. I was desperate enough to have that relationship with her- I wouldn't like it, but I'd manage. Just anything; anything to be with her again- to have her speaking to me as if we were friends.

I thought long and hard, deciding that that was probably what it was. Was I really attractive enough to attract someone so beautiful and perfect? I doubted it, really. I was nothing but a little girl in the way. She probably felt sympathy; I was the girl who was years younger than everyone else- she probably thought I needed looking after. Hell, for all I knew, I was ugly…. It had been a while since I seriously looked in a mirror to examine myself- to find the changes. There were those short moments at the hospital after awakening from the coma; those had scared me senseless. It wasn't a familiar face that was staring back at me, and I had been afraid to see the stranger looking at me with pale blue eyes. I had gotten a bit used to that, but then I had started to avoid mirrors and force myself not to look when I passed one... As of recently, I had formulated an excuse for my behavior- I was afraid to see the pain that was evident on my face. When I had been at InuYasha's dorm that night, I had chanced a glance at myself after washing my face. I looked like someone had just killed my family and everyone I cared about. The feeling of my face, solemn and slack- numb, was still there… there was no denying that.

"Kagome!"

I jumped startled by the sudden voice. Who the hell was that? I glanced around to see Sango looking up at me with an irate look about her features. Surprise was probably written all over my face. I had finally heard her smooth and attractive voice after so long- despite it being marred with anger; I suddenly felt that I could overcome any problem presented to me. I felt invincible.

"Someone's at the door," she scowled, glaring back down at her homework and sighing. Yes, today's chemistry lab was hard…. but it was nothing you couldn't finish without a little bit of concentration.

I jumped up and hurried to the door, hoping to have not had whoever it was waiting for too long. Maybe InuYasha had decided to come and talk to me; maybe Rin. Whoever it was, I was eager to have someone there to distract me from my depressing thoughts.

"Hey Kags," InuYasha said as he stepped through the door.

"Hey 'Yash," I said with a gentle smile. "I was hoping it was you."

"Really now?" he questioned with a grin.

"Yeah," I said with a nod, suddenly feeling at ease with him. His smile was just so contagious.

"Sango not good company anymore?" he asked, probably hoping to play around, but it strung a bit. I physically flinched and he noticed, immediately apologizing with his smoldering amber eyes.

"We'll get past it," I muttered to myself, hopefully. I really did want to get past it; I wanted to love her, but I couldn't do so with her locking herself away from me.

"Will you?" he whispered as he reached over to pat me on the head. I felt embarrassed by the fact that he had heard and blushed hotly.

"I want to," I whispered back, feeling him wrap his arms lightly around me. "InuYasha," I tried to refuse but he quieted me.

"I know Sango, and the thing that'll make her snap is to have someone else getting away with her goods- she's a really jealous girl."

"Really?" I whispered, turning my lips onto his cheek and sighing- playing along in his game.

"Oh yeah Kagome," he said a bit louder, his voice having dropped down what seemed like a few octaves.

"What are we doing today?" I asked him, as I pushed him from me with a ridiculously hot blush on my cheeks. His voice was like his eyes; honey.

"Well, I planned that we-"

"You aren't doing anything."

I looked up to see Sango's furious green eyes on the two of us.

"Did…. you two have plans?" InuYasha questioned slyly.

"Yes," Sango answered curtly with scrutinizing eyes.

"We did?" I asked, my heart jumping up into my throat. I didn't remember… No, she had definitely made that up within the few short moments InuYasha was here. She was getting jealous and I nearly smiled, but I couldn't because my body was frozen in anxiety.

"Yeah. You promised Kohaku that you'd visit him sometime and I just happen to be leaving for home tonight," she said, averting her eyes quickly from my face.

"I don't remember-"

"Oh, you did mention that," InuYasha shut me up in with a faux thoughtful voice. Sango looked up with a burning glare at him.

"Fuck you 'Yash," she said turning back to her work.

"Ok, well since you can't spend any time with me this weekend, do you want to hang now?" he asked with a gentle smile dancing familiarly on his lips. I caught Sango's sidelong glance and I sighed and shook my head.

"I….. Should probably get packing," I said, glad that I had found an excuse. I could've sworn I saw a slight smirk flash on Sango's face, but I couldn't be quite sure.

"Oh… ok then," he said with an approving look at me and a wave. "I guess I should go chill with Miroku. I've been ignoring him as of lately." And with that he was out of the room.

It was silent as I headed back to my bed and sat, lifting my sketchbook instinctively.

"Kagome?"

I looked up startled again by Sango breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" my heart sped up.

"What answer did you get for question seventeen?"

"Oh," I said, feeling my heart calm in disappointment. I thought I was going to receive an apology. "Umm, 14.763929856," I instantly recalled every number.

"Damn," she muttered erasing what she had written previously. "Oh, and that number in Significant Figures?" She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and my face instantly flushed.

"14.764," I stuttered glancing away suddenly. My body suddenly felt hot all over. My god; that simple little action just turned me on…. Oh, she didn't know what she could do to me.

"Fuck! I suck at this," she muttered. "I hate this significant figure stuff. It doesn't make sense. If the last digit is always an estimate, then what's the point?" she rambled to herself.

So, she only wanted help…. It angered me that she waited until this moment to become friendly again and finally talk to me. She just couldn't get over herself on her own. She had to fucking wait until InuYasha decided to push her out of her stupidity. I was suddenly very pissed.

"Come up here and help me?" she questioned me, patting a spot on her soft comforter next to her.

"No."

She looked up with confusion written all over her face. Once she caught the look in my eyes her face neutralized itself, hiding her emotions.

"Why?" she asked me, gently.

I could barely keep my anger up when looking at her lightly confused face. Her voice had been so concerned; so soft. I wished she would talk that way to me every moment of my life. I could die a happy woman if that were the case.

"Because," I fumbled with the reason- trying to decide if I should stay angry. She had hurt me; I had a right to be angry.

"Because," I started again. "You decided not to talk to me."

I frowned, instantly knowing that was a lame reason, but she replied nonetheless.

"But I'm talking now, aren't I?"

How dare she?! How dare she just suddenly decide that everything was ok?! So many questions were there- so many obvious problems and yet she wanted to act like nothing happened.

"Only because you need help!" I retorted as the fuming words fell from my lips. "That's probably the only reason you've ever talked to me- because being a so-called friend would benefit you!"

She looked hurt- irritated. "That's not true Kagome," she said quietly, staying calm as I grew even more livid. Her eyes were obviously trying to read my emotions but I wouldn't allow her that advantage. I looked away.

"Don't lie to me Sango!"

"Tell me what I've been lying about! I haven't told you a single lie in such a long time."

"That's a fucking lie!"

"Kagome, calm down," she said, slowly moving to her feet.

"No!" I screamed, tears suddenly springing to my eyes. "I've been fucking suffering because you just won't tell me what the hell's wrong with you. You ignored me- you wouldn't fucking talk to me; hell you wouldn't even look at me. And then you bring you little girlfriend over here, and have sex with her whenever you please, all because you couldn't tell me why you were so upset when I got that concussion!"

"Do you really want to know that badly?!" She looked desperate to have me stop screaming. I hadn't realized how close she was to me until I looked up to see her deep green eyes looking down at me. Her eyebrows were pulled down into a tight furrow; her full lips thinned by the face she made when deciding something.

"Why the hell would we be having this stupid conversation if I didn't want to know?!" I said, feeling my anger slowly die down at the sight of her struggling with her resolve- her words to say to me to explain.

"I feel that I am responsible for you falling from your loft." She finally got it out.

"What? I freaking told you it wasn't your fault!"

"Yeah but that's the thing! I was out, after practice, messing around with Ayame instead of here with you! Everything was going so well…. but I just couldn't-" she stopped suddenly on her next word. Could that word she couldn't say have been "Wait"?

"I should've just come straight home…. I'm sorry."

Her voice was solemn but her face and eyes were determined to make this clear to me.

I felt a frown tug forcefully at the corners of my mouth and she gently lifted her hand to my cheek. Her thumb slowly trailed above my cheeks- under my eyes. Tears were wiped away.

"I'm sorry," she repeated lowering her head and placing a kiss on my nose. My face was suddenly aflame. I was content with that- that simple apology.

Her eyes connected with mine and I stared into hers for the longest time. Such a deep forest green- such beautiful eyes. I was just staring into those eyes, but I knew I was in love with the woman who held my face in her hands. No one else could make me feel the way she did. I loved her.

Her eyes flashed to my lips, but only for a second. She looked back up then pulled away with an audible sigh. A gentle lopsided grin was on her lips.

"You forgive me right?"

I nodded, having trouble with my speech. She just took my breath away so easily.

"Good, because I've been trying to find the right time to apologize all week and I really wasn't expecting InuYasha to come around and ask you out."

I tried to find something to say, but I couldn't.

She shrugged and made her way back to her bed, taking a seat on it.

"I could… help with that," I managed, fingering the pencil I held between my fingers.

"I'd appreciate that Kagome."

That night, after me assisting her with the chemistry lab homework and packing all of the stuff I would need- including laundry- we were off to her house. It only took a few hours to get to her house, so I didn't understand why we left at night, but she claimed she wanted to have the whole day to spend with me and catch up. I didn't mind; that was what I wanted too.

We were nearing her house when she put the music on the radio down.

"It's a little late to drive up to your house so we'll stay at my house, if that's ok with you?" she asked turning down the road towards her house.

"That's fine," I said with a petite yawn. "Man, I'm tired."

"Sorry… Maybe leaving tonight wasn't such a good idea," she mumbled but I objected immediately.

"I'm glad we left when we did. If I had gone to bed, I would've forgotten the questions that I had wanted to ask and we wouldn't have had anything to talk about on the way here," I said as she pulled into the driveway of the small apartment building.

"I guess that's true," she said parking the car. "Come on, let's go."

As I gathered my things and followed Sango up the steps in the cold crisp winter air, I let my mind churn over her background. She was the oldest of two and her parents were both dead. Her mother, dying just a few years after her brother's birth and her father- a retired rock star- committing suicide just a year or two before I met her; before she moved into the area. She had been taking care of her little brother and her grandmother with the ridiculously large sum of money her parents had left behind for the them. Why she chose this particular city to move to, I would never know. My memories told me I used to always ponder that and never ask her- I didn't need to ask her because I knew I was happy with the fact that she did choose this city. If she hadn't, where would I be…. or where would I have used to be?

She unlocked the door and she let herself in- I was glad to get back into a warm environment. Just the few moments I had been outside I had already lost most the heat I had kept in from the car. Weather reports called for just a bit of snow the next afternoon. I shivered, trying to absorb the weak heat of the comfy home. Their heater wasn't working very well. I frowned at that, upset by the conditions what was left of her family was living in.

"My god, it's freezing in here," she mumbled setting her things down on the couch.

I nodded, yawning and she smiled fondly.

"Let's get you to bed."

I followed her into her old bedroom, instantly having memories blast themselves forcefully into my head.

Everything was still the same. Her bed, though having a different comforter from when I was last here was still the same. Her rock band posters on the wall were still there atop the dark purple painted walls. Her desk was still in the corner, television across form the bed on the top of her bureau, and computer positioned on the desk.

"You can, uhhh, go ahead and use the shower," she said, retrieving me from my reminiscing.

"Ok. Thanks, I'll hurry so you can take a shower too," I said, grabbing my bathroom bag.

"Actually, I'm going to be really quiet and use Grandma's so I can get to bed too. I'm really tired," she said watching me carefully.

"Oh… ok," I said smiling at her. She smiled back, and it looked so natural. My heart pounded lightly in my chest and I tried to reason with myself that it would be a good time to tell her- that maybe I should tell her how I felt before we got to bed. Unfortunately for me, her tired smile fell from her lips and she looked pained for a brief- almost nonexistent- moment as she turned away. She immediately left the room. I knew that look would haunt me for a long time. She looked emotionally damaged, and I was afraid I was the cause.

How long would I hide behind my fear? How long until I was brave enough to tell her how I felt about her? How long until I obtained ultimate happiness? I didn't know, but I wanted to. Frustration ripped through me and my barrier against the tears broke easily. I brought my hands to my face and disappeared into the bathroom determined to take a shower and get into bed first because I knew we'd be sharing one and I didn't want to be in the position to get in second.

I could handle the few more days until my heart decided it was strong enough to offer love.

Tears were wiped away.

**A/N**

**Well, I really didn't want to update because I only got 2 reviews last chapter. TT How depressing is that, huh? I even wrote an extra chapter but then I come back to see only 2 reviews... wah. You guys make me really sad. [ But I had to update for _Edge-Keen Blade_ and _cutepuplover_ (who I also lengthened the chapter for), because I couldn't leave them hanging... But yeah, I don't know if I really want to continue this story because I'm not getting much feedback, and unfortunately, I'd rather be concentrating on my art and whatnot (because I have time now that volleyball is over for the time being)... so yeah. read and review...**


	8. Chapter 8: Let Me Hold You

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a Nindendo DS as well as a copy of Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (A fuckin awesome game if I do say so myself. XD)

Chapter 8: Let Me Hold You 

Chilled and feeling awkward I slipped out into the room after brushing my teeth to find it empty. Quickly pulling on my pajamas and throwing my hair into a sloppy bun I flopped down on the bed with a sigh. The moment my skin hit the comforter I felt restless and eventually stood to examine the room. If my memories held true then I would be able to find a few pictures of us together speckled around.

I walked over to her nearly empty dresser and viewed what was left of the pictures atop it. There was only a very small school picture of me from the tenth grade next to her family pictures. There was a larger picture of InuYasha- his senior picture from high school. He looked so handsome and perfect in the picture, but that wasn't enough to dissuade my worries. All the pictures Sango had of me were nowhere to be seen. Just that one picture of me was found after I combed the walls and desktops. It was a bit depressing, but I wouldn't let it get to me.

Sighing, I sat on the bed and began to mope. Did Sango really give up completely on me when I was in the hospital? I knew the pictures weren't at our dorm, and I knew they weren't here- so where were they? Maybe she gave them away… discarded them… destroyed them. Well, that wasn't a good thing to think at all. Doubting our friendship- our relationship- wouldn't get me anywhere.

I pulled the comforter back and lay down, snuggling into the softness. I did know one thing for sure… This comforter was a very familiar one that frequented my vivid memories. The gentle green and pink patterns were a giveaway. This was the bed set that the bed had been dressed in when we made love those years back. It had been my first time with her- anyone really; and I had been so nervous. I didn't know what to expect and I had been lying here, on this bed, waiting for Sango. When she walked in, and gazed at me with her beautiful eyes I knew what would happen next- and my worry melted away.

_I looked up with a hot blush on my cheeks, highly self-conscious of my naked body. I pulled my legs to my chest and hugged them finally daring to look up at Sango. Her green eyes were dark and deep. A gentle and reassuring smile came to her lips and she took a seat on the edge of the bed allowing the towel to slip from her form before doing so._

_With her back to me she spoke softly, her voice low and husky. My lips quivered in excitement._

_"Kagome, won't you braid my hair for me?" she asked._

_My mouth felt as if it was full of cotton and I couldn't speak._

_I moved forward and sat behind her on my knees and gentle ran my hands through her damp hair._

_"Take your time," she said gently, probably noticing the quaking of my hands._

_I worked slowly on her long brown hair, trying to buy time for my thundering heart. Unfortunately, I finished easily and my heart continued to beat erratically._

_"Are you worried?" she asked leaning back and expertly reaching back around my neck pulling my head forward over her shoulder. Her bare back rested against my breasts causing my neck and face to burn._

_"N-no… just nervous," I managed to press out as I peered down into her green eyes. She shut her eyes comfortably and smiled. She looked so relaxed._

_"Just hold me for a bit then," she said, allowing her eyes to open again. "I want you to be comfortable with me Kagome." Her hand fell slowly down my cheek and her thumb traced my lips._

_"Ok," I said, taking a shaky breath._

_"Good," she said shutting her eyes again. I took the chance to allow myself an eyeful. We had been doing this- holding each other naked- for the past few days to get used to each other. Ever contour of her perfect body was memorized in my mind. When I looked down the graceful protrusion of her collar bone, down between her modest breasts, and even further down to the apex of her muscular thighs a familiarity would overcome me. I wanted so badly to get over my nervousness and just take the dive. I had been with Sango for more than a few months and I didn't know why I just couldn't be with her the way I wanted._

_"What are you thinking about?"_

_I jumped, very startled by her voice. Looking back down at her face, I felt ridiculously embarrassed to be caught staring. Her green eyes weren't angry or upset- nothing like that. She was just curious._

_"I'm wondering why I'm so nervous about being with you… sexually… you know?"_

_"Are you afraid- worried?" she asked arching a perfect eyebrow._

_"N-no. I trust that you'll take it slow with me and be gentle but I'm just…."_

_"We don't have to just yet. It'll give you something to look forward to because I promise it'll be something you'll never forget."_

_"But I'm ready Sango."_

_"Then what's stopping you?"_

_"My family… their love for me." I was afraid of coming out to them. This would seal the deal, this final act with Sango; but I loved Sango and I knew after how long she's been with me that I wouldn't be able to let her go. I couldn't live without her._

_"If they can't accept what you are and who you are then they don't really love you Kags…."_

_"I know Sango."_

_Sango was silently looking at me with a look in her eyes that I couldn't explain._

_"I love you," she said softly, causing my heart to swell._

_I very gently tilted my head and slanted my lips against hers softly._

_"I love you too."_

_From there the night escalated._

I slipped my hand beneath the pillow, hoping to warm myself up a bit more. It worked a bit, but I was suddenly very aware of something hard against my knuckles. Sitting up I pushed the pillow aside to find a large photo album. My heart seemed to warm at the sight of a picture of Sango embracing me on the front cover. I finally realized where all of our pictures went.

I flipped through the book slowly, recalling every moment easily. I smiled fondly at the effort that was obviously put into the album; it was perfect. When I got to the end I was a bit upset. I shoved the book back beneath my pillow and glanced at the clock. Sango should've been done and in bed before I got out here. I didn't really understand. Maybe she decided to sleep on the couch. Who would know, especially after that depressing look she gave me.

The door opened and the girl on my thoughts stepped in. She was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. She was never one for pajamas, though I did find a few of hers at the dorm. She shut the door quietly behind her, turned off the lights, and headed towards the bed.

"I was getting a little worried about you," I said, causing her to jump.

"I… thought you would've been asleep already," she said after getting over the surprised quickly. Her voice seemed thick.

"Are you ok?" It sounded as if she were crying…..

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said sniffling. "I was just outside too long."

"Outside? Have you been out there all this time?" I asked as she took a seat on the bed.

"After my shower, I went out," she said slipping her leg into the comforter.

"You must be freezing," I said with concern as she pulled the comforter up to her shoulders. Who goes outside, during the winter, after they've taken a shower- with damp hair no less?

"I'll be alright," she said shrugging.

"What were you out there for anyw..." I stopped my sentence as the smell of cigarettes invaded my senses.

She stayed silent and I made a face.

"When did you start smoking Sango?"

"A while ago. Around the one and a half year mark of your coma." Not only did she sound cold, she sounded tired.

"You're going to stop right?" I asked.

"Why should I?"

"I don't like the smell," I said trying my best to ignore the scent.

"I'll…. I'll try," she said with a sigh. It was obvious she was too tired to argue.

"Thanks Sango," I smiled, even though I knew she couldn't see me. Gathering courage, I slipped my arms around her uncomfortably cold body. I felt her tense for a bit but then she relaxed.

"I suppose that'll warm the both of us up," she said gently holding my arms around her body.

I fell asleep very easily, holding her body to mine.

_Her hand was warm around mine as we walked slowly through the streets of her neighborhood. The overcast clouds were light and gray, calling for some snow later on in the day. I was thrilled Sango and I would be able to spend more time together. I was anxious to be loved physically by her again. But I knew that wasn't on her mind as her eyes calculated our surroundings._

_Looking over at her I saw her eyes were just slightly narrowed due to the awkward dimness of the day. Her cheeks and nose were pink. I don't know how I convinced her to come out in the cold with me when she obviously hated it, but I did. Feeling bad about her feeling cold I pulled her closer and dropped her hand, feeling it was more appropriate to have my arm around her waist._

_She glanced down at me briefly before looking back up with introspection written about her face. Sango had never been the talkative one. She preferred to keep quiet and gaze out, quietly running through things in her head. She was dark mysterious in that way. It was a total turn on._

_"Let's stop here," she said as we came across a bench near the tennis courts._

_We settled onto the bench and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. I felt a shiver shoot through her and I looked up to see her cheeks pinker than before._

_"I'm sorry I forced you out here," I said causing her to glance at me._

_"Shh," she quieted me and shut her eyes. "You know how the air takes on a certain scent before it rains?"_

_"Yeah," I said watching her lips as she spoke. I wanted to kiss her so bad._

_"Well, I think it does the same thing before it snows. It's not the same scent, but it's drier… crisper."_

_"Really?"_

_She nodded, probably tired of talking already._

_I sighed and rested my head on her shoulder, finding her to be very hot._

_"Are you feeling well?"_

_She nodded and kept her eyes shut._

_"It's going to start snowing soon. I think we should head back."_

_I nodded in response and stood with her. She pulled me close to her and sighed into my hair._

_"You're so beautiful, Kagome."_

_I blushed lightly and pulled away from her embrace slightly to find her intense eyes focused on me._

_"Thanks Sango. You're really beautiful too," I muttered, feeling ridiculously flattered and still awed by the deep intensity of her eyes. "Fukai Mori" were the words I used to describe her eyes. A deep forest._

_She kissed me lightly on the cheek._

_I was a bit disappointed, and she read it easily on my face._

_"I think I'm coming down with something," she apologized resting her cheek against mine. I suddenly realized how red her cheeks were and how hot her face was._

_"Why didn't you say anything?"_

_She smiled and backed up._

_"Because I knew it was going to snow," she said softly as light flakes fluttered down around us. "I know you'd look lovely surrounded by the swirls of snow. It's almost as if you were meant to be out in the snow with your pretty ice blue eyes."_

_I gazed at her crooked smirk with unshed tears in my eyes._

_"I love you," I confessed again, happier than I could possibly be._

_"I know baby," she said, taking my hand and starting us off again. I tried to focus on where I was walking, but I was easily distracted by the content smile plastered on her cheeks. Suddenly, something bright orange caught my attention._

_"Oh look Sango!" I dropped her hand and crouched down near a bench._

_She stopped and looked to where I was staring. At the foot of a bench, almost identical to the one where we had rested, was a small ball of orange fur._

_"It's a baby fox. Don't touch it," she ordered when she saw me reaching for it._

_"But Sango, it'll freeze," I tried, really wanting to hold the small quaking thing in my arms._

_"If you touch it, its mother won't accept it because of your scent."_

_"But it'll die out here!" I argued, worried for the small animal._

_"It'll probably die if we try to take it in, so just leave it alone. God knows if it has rabies," she turned away from the poor animal and stared at me with finality on her face. I pouted and her stare faltered a bit._

_"Fuck; ok. Just take it then," she mumbled, obviously feeling too sick to argue. She started ahead._

_"Oh, thanks Sango," I squealed as I reached forward and lifted the small hamster-sized animal. It squirmed weakly in my hands as I brushed the snow from its soft coat. It was so cold, and I was worried. I didn't want it to die, but it looked like that was what was going to happen._

_"Sango… it's… not going to make it," I pressed out as I caught up to her, holding the animal close to me in hopes of keeping it warm._

_She offered me her hands and I gently placed the small fox, which was no longer squirming, down into her secure hands. As my fingers brushed against her own I instantly felt the heat of her fever. She pulled the animal to her body, inside her coat, and walked silently with me._

_"How are you feeling?" I asked as we neared her apartment. She looked tired and sickly. She hadn't looked like this when we left and I decided that she got sick very easily. She didn't answer for some time and I was worried. Maybe she was feeling faint. I glanced up at her wonderful face, admiring it. Her strong jaw was set and her green eyes were just as observant as before. The perfect straight of her nose and the natural curl of her full lips were just something I could never look over. She took a sideways glance at me and I blushed._

_"What are you going to name him?" she asked, forcing a tired smile._

_God I loved this girl._

_"How about Shippo?"_

_"Sounds good to me," she said as we started up the stairs._

Suddenly feeling very warm, I awoke. Sango's arms were wrapped tightly around me. Her body was too warm; slick with sweat. Her face was red and she was obviously feeling hot. I glanced around the room, finding it to be about seven in the morning after spotting a clock. Looking back down at Sango I found her green eyes trained on my face.

"Sango," I tried softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Like heaven's taken me away," she said lightly, holding me tightly.

"Do I need to let go of you?" She probably didn't need my added body heat.

"No, please… just… hold me."

I sighed, but held her. She gently laid her head on my chest and her hair cascaded down my body.

"You heart beat…." she mumbled with closed eyes.

"Yeah," I said smiling. "It's pretty strong, right?"

"Of course," she said, her warm breath dancing across the skin of my arm. My body tingled.

"Sango?"

"Yeah," she said as she listened intently to my chest and its beating resident.

"Whatever happened to Shippo?" I had left my little fox, strong and healthy, here when I left for college. I had seen him just days before the accident. What had become of him over the two and a half years I was away?

Her eyes instantly snapped open and she sat up, obviously dizzying herself. I reached out to steady her but she caught my hand.

"You…. You have you memory back!" she said with wide green eyes.

I looked away, feeling ashamed.

"Wait; for how long now?" she asked resting her warm hand on my face and forcing me to look at her. She could read me so easily; I was jealous.

"For a while now," I said, afraid of her reaction.

"And… you didn't tell me….. Why? Did you… not like what you remembered?" Her deep eyes couldn't hide the disappointment evident in her words and tone. That pained look came across her face suddenly and I felt like shit. No matter how much I had been through- I should not have been making the girl I loved feel like _that_.

"It…. it wasn't that, Sango," I said after her hand dropped from my cheek. Numbness spread through my body and I wanted very badly to just feel free again. I wanted to lose all my worries and just float in my dreams- to not confront my problems.

"Then what was it Kagome?" she asked breathlessly.

"You're sick…. maybe we should talk about this later," I tried causing her to glare weakly at me.

"Let's not avoid this conversation on my behalf. I just asked a simple question; I want it answered."

I sighed. "I was reluctant to accept my preferences, and then when I finally did- you're having sex with Ayame. I didn't know what to do, Sango. I wanted to be with you but I started having doubts because of that girl….. The Sango I loved back then wouldn't have done that and it scares me to think you've changed."

"I haven't changed Kagome," she said frantically. "I'm still the same. I promise!"

I looked up to see the unshed tears swimming in her desperate green depths and I shook my head casting my face downward.

"You're so different from what I remember, Sango. You smoke; you're more irritable, you talk even less than before- which is barely possible, and worst of all you didn't wait for me. You _couldn't_ wait for me."

I felt something cold ghost against my cheeks and I realized I had been crying. How long had I been crying? I didn't know- all I knew was numbness seeped through my body easily and I estimated that I had been going at it for quite some time. My chest hurt with pain... or maybe it was my heart.

"All of that… Just bad habits I picked up along the way…. Please, give me another chance. I still love you Kagome."

Her hand covered mine gently and I felt the blazing heat radiating from her. I was hesitant to accept. Would Sango still love me as deeply as she did before- before all of these problems arose? I glanced up into her tired, sweaty face and was startled by the intensity of her eyes. If looks could really kill, I'd have been relaxing in heaven just then. I felt my resolve crumble and chanced a smile, causing her to throatily sigh in relief.

"I still love you Kagome- I promise I do," she said with her tears falling down her cheeks. She pulled me to her and cried into my shoulder. I wordlessly wrapped my arms around her, easily remembering how well we fit together. I remembered how perfect- how complete- I felt when in her arms. My heart pounded dangerously hard and I struggled with my words. I had wanted to say them for so long and I choked them out, realizing I was feeling desperate to have her too.

"I love you too Sango," I cried causing her to pull back a bit. She smiled her seductive smile- though tired looking- and leant forward, kissing me on the cheek.

I pouted but she reasoned, "I don't want you to get what I've got. I promise you better soon."

"I'll go make you some tea," I said, wiping at my tears awkwardly, still in her arms.

"Not yet," she said, kissing my forehead. "Just let me hold you a bit longer."

**A/N-**

**Well, I can't explain how happy I was to get all of those reviews. D I nearly peed my pants when I saw all of those alerts in my inbox... ok, well maybe not, but I was super excited!! XD So, special thanks to all my reviewers:**

**Edge-Keen Blade, cutepuplover, lizbi, Joey Tribbiani Freak, c hicks, just-me172007, shamanic demonator, Sarah, danielle, HellzWrlck, Sepiktik, Thepillows93**

**Thanks for all the reviews guys. I love you! D**

**Ok, well, back to the story now... This chapter was a bit hard for me to write, but I kinda like how it turned out. And just for addition: this isn't the last chapter (duh) but the end will be coming soon. It depends if I can brainstorm a few more ideas. It wouldn't be a romance story if there wasn't a little miscommunication and a small misunderstanding. But not next chapter. The next chapter (since i've started writing it already) seems to be more of a character development chapter... A new problem will arise as the past is presented and unfortunately, maybe a character injury. "gasp!" I know, exciting isn't it. But until next time my readers. I promise to update soon.**

**Read and review, please.**


	9. Chapter 9: Secrets Of The Forest

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a Fooly Cooly t-shirt and look damn good wearing it. XD Cause wearing _Takkun_ on your belly would make anyone look sexy.

**Chapter 9: Secrets Of The Forest**

I eventually slipped away from Sango after she fell back asleep shortly. It had taken nearly all of my willpower to stop watching her sleep. She was so cute when she slept- beautiful, even in rest.

I tread silently down the hall and into the kitchen, feeling cold the moment I left Sango's secure embrace. I immediately regretted not wearing slippers the instant my toes hit the icy peach and white tiles. Pouting I moved to the cabinet and removed two cups. After preparing tea for Sango and hot chocolate for me I headed back towards the room anxious to get back into her warm embrace.

"Kagome?"

I looked up to see Kohaku looking at me with confusion written about his face.

"Good morning, Kohaku," I said offering a bright smile.

"H-how are you feeling?" he asked, very hesitantly.

"I'm fine. I came with Sango to visit you," I told him, watching him carefully.

"That's cool."

He was behaving very awkwardly. You see, Kohaku was much like his older sister. He was quiet and very observant- he tried to be aware of other people's feelings. Which would slightly explain his odd behavior towards me, but why was he being so hesitant? What was making him act so oddly?

"How's that memory coming along?" he questioned softly. My eyes hitched onto his green-ish brown eyes and realization hit me. He was concerned about my memories.

"It's all back," I told him, seeing him visibly relax. "Which reminds me, happy belated birthday," I remembered his birthday was just a few days before.

"Thanks Kagome," he said with a wide smile.

I was surprised at how much he had grown over the short time I had last seen him with Sota. It had only been a month or two, but he seemed to have shot up another inch or so.

"You just keep getting bigger and bigger Kohaku," I smiled fondly and he smiled back.

"I'm really glad you remember everything Kagome," he said with sincerity evident in his eyes. "Sango kind of went crazy for a bit when you were in the hospital."

"C-crazy?" I stuttered after having this new information thrown at me.

"Yeah…. Nothing, like, officially crazy, but she wasn't acting like herself. She started doing all sort of odd things, like smoking, and drinking…. and… getting high."

I felt my jaw muscles clench uncomfortably.

"I… shouldn't have said that," he said, suddenly looking regretful, probably after spotting the look on my face. "Don't worry Kagome," he assured. "She's doing better with all the bad habits she picked up."

I nodded, not really able to talk.

"I guess I'll talk to you again later," he said, flopping down on the couch. "And I'm really glad to see that you've recovered everything."

I walked to Sango's door and stopped before it.

Sango had done all that shit? For what? What did it accomplish? Why? I was upset; she had… hurt herself. What good could come from that?

Suddenly feeling aggravated, I pushed myself into her room and sighed loudly.

"Are you ok?" a stuffy voice asked.

I jumped, a bit startled by her voice. Sango looked at me with questionable green eyes. I nodded, after recovering, and silently tread over to the bed. I set down her tea and sat on the edge, facing away from her. I tested my hot chocolate, making sure not to scald my tongue. After taking a few sips I was highly aware of the silence about me. Glancing over my shoulder I found Sango hunched over a ridiculously thick notebook which sat in her lap. She was writing vigorously.

"Sango?"

She finished up whatever she was writing at the moment and looked up.

We held each others eyes, not blinking. I looked away from them to examine the rest of her face; soft and gentle was her expression.

"Yes Kagome?"

I jumped, a bit startled by her sudden speech.

"Is that… a diary?"

She nodded and shut the book, probably instantly realizing where my interests were now.

"I never knew you had one," I said softly, not wanting to believe that maybe I hadn't gotten all of my memory back.

"I don't think you ever found out," she said with a gentle smirk. "I've hidden it quite well from you." She sniffled a little, and then took a swing from her drink, reminding me a bit of a pirate when she did. She set the cup down and looked at me for a response.

"How long have you had it?" I asked watching her cheeks flare momentarily.

"This is going to sound really corny, but it's the truth, ok?"

I nodded in response and she continued.

"I bought it the day I first laid eyes on you. Up until that point, I didn't think there was much special about my life- nothing interesting enough to record in a journal," she said with a distant look in her eyes.

"I don't understand, Sango… your dad was a celebrity," I said, seeing her expression not falter one bit.

"He was never home, Kagome," she said flatly. "The only time he stayed home longer than two days was when he finally decided to end his life."

She sighed, probably trying to shake the feeling she was getting.

"Besides; I never really told anyone he was my dad. I don't like that kind of attention."

We fell silent, and I decided this wasn't a topic we should dwell on.

"Are you going to let me read it?"

"What? You want to… read it?"

I nodded with a smile. "I'd love to see how your mind works; it seems so complex."

"Look who's talking," she mumbled with a sideways glance at me.

I gave her a faux angry look once I gained eye contact and a smile broke out onto her lips. I couldn't help but smile too- I laughed and she joined in. I stopped suddenly after hearing the familiar melodious sound. God, if only Sango laughed more….

"What?" she asked, looking concerned because I suddenly stopped.

"Nothing," I said shaking my head and deciding not to tell her.

"Ok, well, I'll let you read it if I can get a chance to look through your sketch book," she said, flashing a sly smile. Oh, she was getting playful was she? I'd say, two could play that game, but if my memories served correctly, I was a horrible flirter. I caved instantly.

"Fine," I mumbled with a harsh blush on my face. "But, promise me you won't lau-"

I was silenced by her sneeze.

"You're drinking that tea right?" I asked.

"Yeah," she gave a short answer.

"You never did answer my question about Shippo," I said, suddenly.

"Quit trying to get out of showing me that sketch book."

"I'm getting it," I said rolling my eyes with a light smile on my face. "But I still want to know about Shippo."

"I had to give him away to the local zoo," she said as I rummaged through my bag to retrieve my sketch book. "He was getting too…. frisky and he was beginning to become hard to take care of."

"So, he's still… alive right?" I asked handing her the book.

She took another swallow of her tea and nodded. "They haven't called me saying anything about death, and Kohaku was there a few days ago with Kanna; he said he saw him."

"Kanna?" I asked sitting and taking the book into my lap.

"His girlfriend," she said rolling her eyes. "When I was that young, I didn't even bother dating. They guys who asked me out probably only did because of who my dad was; I wasn't interested in men anyways….. I guess he's lucky- to get the shitty part of relationships out of the way early so he can have a better relationship with who ever he finally decides to love."

"Could it have been a possibility that they fell in love with you because of who _you_ were?" I asked, hesitant to open the ridiculously thick book.

"Love doesn't work that way…. unless you get to know the person," she sighed lightly. "Until then, it's just physical want- lust."

"You should be a philosopher," I said smiling.

"I've thought about that option," she said opening up the front of my book.

"I think it'd be a good field for you," I said slipping my finger between the front cover and the first page.

"Damn, Kagome," Sango said throatily.

I looked up to see Sango looking intently through my book. A blush blazed across my face.

"I can never get over how good you are with this," she said shaking her head. "Man, I never thought all this time you were drawing pictures of me."

I blushed, at a loss of words and embarrassed beyond my wildest dreams.

"I really like these, Kags," she said, causing me to raise a questionable eyebrow. "What's with the look?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I thought you'd be… freaked out or something."

"Why would I be?" she asked, setting the book down and gently taking my hand. She was still very warm.

"I don't know," I repeated.

"Well I'm not, ok? I think it's hot that you think of me naked all the time."

I looked at her with a surprised look and she laughed. She was joking with me!

"My god, Kagome; you're so gullible."

I watched her stand and slip on her flip flops.

"Where are you going?" I asked, as she grabbed a coat from her chair.

"I nearly forgot that I had to drive Kohaku over to Kanna's house to pick her up and bring her back here. He's probably been waiting forever; I promise to be back as soon as I can," she said, bending over and kissing me on the cheek.

I smiled. "Ok, I'll be waiting."

She left and silence invaded my senses. I looked down at the thick notebook that lay in my hands. So many secrets were held within; the very essence of the woman I loved- of Sango. Did I really want to decode the mysterious woman- did I want to figure her out completely? I pondered over that for a moment and decided that I wouldn't. I'd only look for the information that would expose her self injury. I'd only look for her life while I was away- while I was asleep.

Randomly flipping the book open a page was revealed to me. This page was obviously opened a lot and the first thing that registered in my mind were the tons of numbers and the random right slashes. As I let my eyes run over the cryptic code I suddenly realized what it was. It was a page filled with hundreds of dates…. but dates of what- I had to wonder. The title of the page was, however, on the top left and I gasped when I read it.

"Stoned" was scrawled in light handwriting on top.

I felt my eyes tingle with tears when I realized exactly what the page was. I was unable, for minutes, to flip to another page due to the shock. After a few deep breaths, however, I flipped a page back.

_-You won't believe the shit I've gotten myself into now. Who would've known a little trip with Kohaku would get me caught up in the fast life. He was sick of seeing me mope, he said. Sick of seeing me waste away in my room whenever I came home to visit; so he insisted I go to this party his girlfriend was hosting. I decided to; what could one night hurt? I'd just go back to my dorm and get on with my boring life all over again anyways- that's what I reasoned at least. I never knew what I would get tangled up in that day._

_When I arrived, I realized I was far from the mood to be partying. It irritated me to no end to see all these people having a blast when my life figuratively ended many months ago. My life ended when I landed Kagome in the hospital. Now I'm just trudging along because I'm not going to be like my asshole of a cock sucking dad. No; I'm better than him. I'll live. I'm worth it. Kagome's worth it- she'll come around, and then we can continue our life…. at least, that's what I'm repeating in my head. That's my mantra, because I believe I've lost faith and I'm frightened by that thought._

_So I sat my ass down in the corner of a room in this massive house. It was kind of quiet, and pretty dark; secluded from the rave. I could just fall off there and nobody would notice. Unfortunately, someone did notice me. A tall dark haired guy with shady eyes. Yes; this guy was vaguely familiar and I realized as he introduced himself as Naraku, Kanna's older brother. He invited me to chill with his friends. I said I wasn't in the mood, but he promised me something to boost my spirits._

_I was looking for a light, but I got so much more._

_Weed…. Who would've known how potent it was. It was like dancing with the devil- you know it's dangerous, but you can't help but want to do it… just to feel the rush. I need that rush but... would Kagome approve of that? Would she want me to hide behind drugs just to feel better about myself? Would she want me to hide behind the drugs to create a false sense of security- a false sense of happiness?_

_I swore on my life that would be the first and last time I lit anything that potent, but as I sit here now, writing this… I'm craving it; I'm craving another smoke- I'm craving the feeling it gave me. I had been happy for the first time in months. Giddy, excited, happy to an unreal extent- endorphin educed fun. My brain was sizzled, my mind just leaked from my mouth. I loved that feeling…. I loved feeling free._

_So, I apologize now, for anything dumb ass decisions I make along the way, because I know I'll go back to Naraku and his long black hair. I know I'll go back to the dangers he hides in his leaves. I'll record every day I find myself high beyond recovery and I know I won't care. I really don't have anything to lose… nothing to lose except this addiction to death._

I closed the book and set it on my lap, feeling cold all over. I lifted my quaking hand to pinch the bridge of my nose to relieve the pressure that was building in my head. I was confused- I didn't even know how to reply to that…. What the hell was I suppose to feel anyways? My best friend- no, my girlfriend was addicted to drugs.

… Or was she? Was she still in its hold? I could only wonder… She had so eagerly jumped at the chance to head over to Naraku's house. Maybe she was picking up a little bit of the goods. Technically, the only reason she did do the Mary J was because she was depressed. She was happy with me, right? It made her happy to have me back, right? If that were the case though, she probably was still smoking it when I started to stay with her in the dorm. I know she was ridiculously depressed to find that I didn't have my memory back. Hell, she could've smoked a little grass yesterday before I even decided to come on the trip with her.

I was startled by sudden movement out of the corner of my eye.

Sango's grandmother was silently setting down folded clothes, and that's when I realized that my laundry had been missing.

"Good morning Kagome," she said with a light smile on her lips.

As I looked over the small gray haired woman I allowed my mind to fester on her injured eye. What had happened to the old woman for her to lose her sight? I never bothered to ask Kaede or Sango…. I'm sure it would've roused bad memories.

"Good morning," my voice broke. A blush raced across my cheeks and I looked down at the book resting in my lap.

"Catching up with Sango, I see," she said, rearranging the already perfect pile of folded clothes.

"Yes," I said softly. "I… wanted to know what I missed."

She was silent for a while before continuing. "You missed the worse part I suppose. As much as I don't want to admit it, Sango's a frail girl."

I thought back to her pleading- begging me to take her back just the night before. I knew that Sango, despite her demeanor- her cool relaxed attitude, was still human. I knew that Sango had human emotions like sadness and loneliness. I knew she could lose faith- I knew she could lose faith in life. But I also knew she had human emotions like love and kindness. I knew she had hope as well.

I chanced a smile. "That's why I love her. She's strong when you need her to be and she won't break down unless in her quiet moments; but it's frustrating when she wants to handle things on her own and not seek help."

"All you need to do is talk about it, Kagome," she said pointing at the book that lay in my lap. "Make sure things are clear between you two."

"I will," I replied as she exited.

I sighed lightly, thinking about what she said. I had to wonder what Sango was thinking now. She was probably worried about how I'd react to her inner thoughts. She was probably worried about what I'd think. Sango had acted all nonchalant about the whole thing, but in reality she was probably scared to death about how I'd react… or was she? Maybe she knew that's I'd love her anyways.

I smiled at the last thought and stood up deciding that I'd wait until Sango returned before even opening another page.

After a few minutes, however, I found myself bored beyond imagination. I wandered around the room, searching through her things, just out of lack of anything better to do after getting dressed. In her closet I discovered a mysterious gray lock box, two guitars, a Frisbee, and a bicycle. Sighing tiredly I flopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I felt really stupid because it felt like I was playing detective.

An audible sigh escaped from my lips. If I had known any better I would've kept my sketch book- that would've at least given me something to do.

"What's your deal?"

I jumped at the masculine voice. How was everyone sneaking up on me? Had I really been that lost in thought?

"Really Kags, why so jumpy?"

"_InuYasha_!" I exclaimed, jumping up to give him a hug. For some odd reason, I felt like I hadn't seen him in days.

"Happy to see me?" he questioned with a smirk on his handsome face.

"Of course," I said pulling away. "But, why are you here?"

His eyes seemed to smolder as he said, "I was worried that you… might not be having as good as a time that you hoped. So, I came just in case."

"Everything's fine now 'Yash," I said looking away from his burning amber eyes. I sat back down on the bed and lay back with another sigh.

"If everything's fine, then what's wrong with you?" he asked, taking a seat.

"It's you, InuYasha," I said looking up to see him give me a perplexed look.

"I don't understand," he said leaning on the arm he set beside me. I suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable with how close he was to me.

"My memory's back 'Yash," I said causing him to sit back up.

"Oh," was his simple reply. He refused to meet my eyes for a long moment.

"I'm sorry," I said causing him to look back up at me. His expression was guarded and I felt my heart ache just a little.

"It's ok," he said with a smile. A fake smile. "I kinda already knew you had this serious thing for Sango," he said jokingly, obviously trying to play off his pain with humor.

"InuYasha," I tried.

He shook his head. "Hey, don't worry about it. You're happy right? That's all that matters to me."

"You don't have to-"

"Kagome, just stop. Don't make this any harder for me."

At those words I felt my eyes fill with tears.

"Please, Kagome. Just, don't cry- that's the last thing I want to make you do," his arm was around my shoulder in seconds.

I held my breath, trying to figure myself out. Why was I crying?

"I'll be fine, Kagome," he said again releasing me from his hold.

He wouldn't even hug me the way he used to. It was as if he didn't want to touch me.

"Where's Sango anyways?" he asked.

"She took Kohaku over to his girlfriend's house."

"Ok. Well, when she gets back, tell her I'm in the area and we should chill- if you guys aren't doing anything special that is," he stood and left.

I knew from that moment that my relationship with InuYasha wouldn't be the same.

* * *

**A/N-**

**Don't you hate that when you have a certain page open in a book for a certain amount of time, that everytime you open that particular book, it'll open up to that exact page... That's pretty much what happened for Sango's diary.----So, yeah... Shippo's not dead! yay. but InuYasha seems to be, just a little. It's kinda sad, but not really. It'll cause a few problems, however. Um, yeah, sorry I made Sango a stoner. I just recently discovered one of my friends has this problem... well, I kinda knew before, but I didn't want to believe it. :( yeah. he's a dumbass because I kind of liked him before(cause he's hot and a really cool anime lovin guy), but yeah... that's definately a turn-off for me. smoking too; I hate the smell.**

**anyways... I think this was a crap chapter. I was home sick today, so I decided to finish it and it came out like this. D: Yes, very saddening. However, I still have wondeful reviewers, so I'm pretty happy despite my shitty writing. The next chapter seems to be much better( because I've already started writing it.) so I'll be excited to update, but that all depends on my reviewers. so review my friends, review. XD You'll be in for a great chapter my next update...**


	10. Chapter 10: As Long As You Still Feel

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own an authentic wooden katana and had fun scaring little kids with it today when I was trick-or-treating. (lawl, you're never too old for candy. :D)

**Chapter 10: As Long As You Still Feel For Me**

It took Sango a long while to return. All the while, I had been crying.

She walked into the room and set a small black plastic bag on her desk. Unzipping her jacket, she set it down. With an aggravated sigh she picked it up again and tossed it into the hamper.

"Kagome?" she questioned softly, approaching my still form curled up on the bed.

I looked up not even bothering to wipe the tears from my eyes.

"W-what's wrong?" she asked quickly taking a seat on the bed.

I shook my head, deciding not even to worry her about my problem. It really wasn't any of her business…. I knew how she rubbed it in 'Yash's face the last time- when he was obviously hurting. It wasn't fair to him…. it wasn't fair to him at all.

"Damn it, Kagome," she sighed in frustration. "Look, whatever it is that you read that disturbed you we just need to talk about."

I shook my head again and shut my eyes, not up to talking.

She was silent, obviously giving up on even trying to get anything out of me.

"I guess…. you need time alone," she said, masking her aggravation terribly. I felt her softly pat my side and then felt the bed rise as it was relieved of her weight. I heard plastic rustle and my eyes snapped open only to see her exit the room and shut the door.

What was in that bag? I sat there for minutes, letting all sorts of ridiculous thoughts run though my head. The only thing that kept ringing out to me, however, was that it was a shit load of drugs. It was the only possibility I could think of. She _had _been at Naraku's house. Worry suddenly enveloped my already troubled heart and I sighed and stood. I just really wanted to talk to Sango now…. I shouldn't have acted like that.

Shutting the door behind me I trudged through the living room. Sango wasn't there. The only people that were there was Kohaku and a very pale looking girl.

"Oh, Kagome," Kohaku said energetically. "This is Kanna, my girlfriend."

His proud smile was not ignored by me and I made my way over to greet her.

"I'm Kagome," I said with a smile as I took her hand. The girl was very small; Rin's height actually. She had long hair, paler in color than InuYasha's even and had very light blue eyes. She looked pretty bored.

"Nice to meet you," she drawled uninterestedly.

"You too," I said, pulling my hand back feeling a bit offended.

"Kohaku," I said, turning my interest onto the very excited boy. I didn't understand his attraction to the lifeless girl, but I decided it wasn't my business. Opposites attract, they say- but I wasn't much of a believer when it came to that statement.

"If you're looking for Sango, she went up to the roof," he said pointing towards the door.

"Ok, thanks," I said as I exited into the cold. Realizing I had forgotten a jacket I sighed and hurried towards the metal ladder attached to the side of the building. Climbing it, I felt my body quake with fear but continued on. As I reached the top I was about to swing myself over but Sango's solemn voice it my ears.

"I'm sorry…. I should've told you sooner," she said, pausing for a bit. "No… not like that; not anymore," she paused once again and I realized she was on the phone when I spotted her sitting on the edge with her legs dangling over.

"I wish I could've done this in person, but I couldn't wait until I got back," she said, rolling around a cigarette in her fingers. "No, but we can still hang out, you know."

I heard her sigh. "I still care about you, it's not like that," she said softly. "I just love her, there isn't an explanation for it … I didn't really like you like that."

Silence.

"Yes, and I'm sorry… I shouldn't have used you like that. It was wrong."

…

"I apologize… I won't bother you again."

She shut the phone and set it down beside her, sighing audibly. Sango then silently put the cigarette to her lips. She lifted the lighter to the end, but then hesitated.

"What the hell am I doing?" she sighed to herself. She took the lighter and tossed it off the roof.

She reached for the bag.

"Sango," I called out, suddenly finding my voice.

She glanced backwards at me and then stood, hurrying to help me up and over the ledge.

"What are you doing out here without a coat?" she asked with a worried expression.

"I was worried about you," I said watching her roll her eyes.

"I'm fine, but I think we should get you back inside," she said moving to remove her jacket.

"No, wait, it'll only take a few seconds," I said grabbing her hand to stop her. Her hand was warm, like usual.

She sighed and pulled me onto her lap as she took a seat. I easily let myself get wrapped up in her arms, enjoying her body heat greatly.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"What's in that bag Sango?" I asked with hesitation. She smelled nice- so I knew she hadn't been smoking anything.

"Candy," she said with a smile. Reaching over she pulled the bag open to reveal about thirty packs of Skittles. "I'm hoping that I can persuade myself to eat a few of these instead of lighting up."

"Really?" I asked a bit hesitant to accept due to that fact that eating too much candy would cause her to get sick- and would she really need so many? How many times did she smoke a day, anyways?

"Yeah," she said kissing me lightly on the cheek. "I figured you'd rather Skittles flavor over tobacco."

I pondered over her sentence before realizing what she was saying. I hadn't even thought about how the smoking would affect my enjoyment of her kisses- probably because we hadn't really _kissed _yet…. well, not after my coma at least.

"As much as I love sitting in your lap, I'm ready to go back inside," I said feeling a bit more chilled than before.

"Ok," she said as I got up from her lap.

When we got back inside I was silent as she shuffled around the kitchen getting us both glasses of water. She looked tense- apprehensive even.

"What's _really_ bothering you Kags?" she asked after a sigh.

I looked up at her and sighed.

"Are you still addicted?"

She looked introspective for a moment- her deep green eyes wandered haplessly away from my face.

"Well…. technically, I guess so," she said handing me my glass. "But it's going to stop, one way or another. They say the only way to end an addiction is to start another one. I've got my next addiction right here," she said gently caressing my cheek.

I smiled a bit at her sweet enthusiasm, but I knew it would take more than enthusiasm to really break her addiction.

"That's really sweet Sango," I said gazing into her dark green eyes. She smiled at me.

"When was the last time you… you know, got high?"

"Umm," she pondered, nibbling on her lower lip the way she did. I tried my best to fight my blush, but it didn't work. "Day before yesterday, I think…. Yeah, 'cause I was really stressed about how to apologize to you….. Are you ok?"

I blushed even more at her noticing my red face and nodded.

"Hey, let's get back to my room so we can talk about this more," she said as I drank some of my water. I followed her diligently and took a seat beside her once we entered.

"So, what all did you read?" she asked, brushing some of her brown bangs from her face.

"Well, I kind of read that entry about you trying the weed and then I got really scared and stopped reading," I said in a small voice, feeling foolish all the while.

"Scared?"

"It was… Well, it was more of an apprehension. I was afraid that there might be something worse besides that… I didn't want to tackle that on my own."

"Oh," she mumbled looking out across her room.

"I mean, if that's the worst thing in there, then I can get through it on my own, but I'd still like for you to explain some things for me when I'm reading."

"No, Kagome," she said quietly. "That's not the worst."

My heart pounded dangerously hard and I had to wonder- what could truly be worse than her getting high a lot?

"What is then?" I braved, looking her in the eye.

"I don't know if you…. I don't know if I should tell you or even let you read it."

"Sango, I don't want any secrets between us."

"But there are plenty of secrets between us." Was she trying to say something with that comment? Was she trying to say something about us- about our relationship?

"I'll still love you," I said with a quaking voice.

"No, Kagome. This went against all of my morals; against the way I live my life."

"Sango-"

"I said no!"

I flinched at her loud voice. She was on edge…. I didn't want to irritate her.

"I'm sorry," I apologized to her.

She frowned and sighed.

"No, _I'm_ sorry," she said softly. "I'm _really_ sorry."

"It's ok," I said, chanting in my head for me not to cry.

"Kagome, I'm really sorry."

I nodded, keeping my face hidden, in hopes of hiding my wet eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel guilty… she was already stressed due to her abstinence of smoking.

"Kagome, look at me."

I did as I was told, making sure I wouldn't let the tears fall.

She wrapped her hand behind my neck and let it run into my hair. Very carefully she pulled me forward and kissed me gently on the lips. My heart pounded ridiculously hard as she continued to lay gentle kisses on me with her perfect lips. Feeling lightheaded, I was afraid to kiss back because she seemed content with what she was doing. When she stopped she rested her forehead against mine, running her fingers gently along my scalp.

"I had planned for us to go out for a bit and grab some lunch," she said gently with closed eyes.

"That sounds good," I replied with equal gentleness. Maybe, if she was filled and content, she'd be in a better mood to talk.

We walked, hand in hand, out to her car in silence. She was obviously thinking deeply again, and I just couldn't think of a topic for us. Nothing would come to me; even while she drove.

"So, where do you feel like eating?" she asked as we headed into town.

"I feel like eating at IHOP, if that's ok with you," I said quietly. For some odd reason or another, I was craving breakfast food- maybe because I didn't have any that morning.

She nodded and kept quiet.

I sighed lightly. She was just in a bad mood…. That's all. She was stressed. To try and stop two addictions would be hard; that would cause anyone to be moody. Not only that, but that phone call on the roof- that had obviously put a damper on her spirit; I didn't want to irritate her further and ask her who it was though. Our meal was silent as she ate; still concentrating internally and I tried to not focus on her silence and eat my pancakes. It was uncomfortable. I knew that usually Sango was quite, but this time there was obviously something bothering her and I just wanted to know. I just wanted to help her out.

"What's on your mind," I tired as she took a sip of her sweet tea.

She shook her head blinking a bunch- a sign that she didn't want to talk about that. I respected her decision and decided to give her time, the way she allowed _me_ time.

"I think," I started, planning on changing the subject, "that maybe you should take it slowly with this giving up addition thing. I mean, soon you'll be going through drug withdrawal, and the addition of not being able to smoke just might break your spirit."

She looked up at me with calculating green eyes.

"I was thinking along the same lines," she admitted weakly obviously feeling bad about the whole thing. "Fuck, I really messed myself up," she muttered.

"It'll be ok," I said, trying to be supportive. "We'll get through it."

"I hope so, because I don't want to disappoint **you** _again_."

"I promise you, we'll get through it," I said with conviction.

She smiled pathetically at me and looked back down at her plate.

I suddenly realized exactly _how_ human Sango actually was. Up until that point, she had been this untouchable goddess in my mind. A lot of her weaknesses had been shown to me over the last 24 hours. Now, she needed my help and I planned on doing everything in my power to help her. I swore on myself that I'd build her back up.

"Who were you talking to on the roof earlier?"

She looked up with an emotion in her eyes that I couldn't place.

"Uh, it was Ayame," she said. "I told her that you and I were together…. She didn't take it well. Apparently, she somehow fell in love with me. I don't know, I mean, it wasn't really a relationship. We just had sex a lot; that's all." She sighed, "It doesn't really matter anymore. She said she never wanted to even talk to me again."

I was at a loss of words. I hadn't realized that they were friends to begin with- I thought what she thought; that it was just sex. It must've been hard. Sango was a quiet woman; many people looked up to her and admired her, but few dared to even try to befriend her. Ayame might have very well been one of the people in her small group of friends she had besides InuYasha and me. Feeling bad, I tried to comfort her.

"I'm sorry to hear that Sango," I said, gently taking her hand.

"She wasn't any good Kagome. I heard what she said to you that night in the stairway…. I saw you crying out in the courtyard….. She was no good."

"It doesn't matter to me Sango. Just accept my help, ok?"

She nodded and held my hand tighter.

"I'm just a bit upset about this... Ayame's been a big help to me these past few months and I've been relying on her- especially since InuYasha and I were never good friends and after I drove Miroku away."

"Miroku?"

"That was... what I didn't want you to know... I've decided to tell you now, but..."

"It's ok Sango- you don't have to."

"But I need to," she said with her eyes locking onto mine with a desperate look of need of acceptance. I nodded gently to push her just a little.

"Well... Back when you were," she hesitated, "asleep... Miroku and I had gotten a little close. I mean, we had always been good friends, but he was the one that I'd really rely on. I really don't know how it happend Kagome," she said, seemingly apologizing to me. "I just-"

She choked a bit on her last sentance and tears formed in her eyes. I squeezed her hand gently.

"We slept together... not once either. I just kept going back to him, and it would somehow lead to that... and every time- after- I'd feel so dirty. I don't like men like that, it sickened me that I would just let Miroku do that to me... with me... I... It went against all of my morals, Kagome. I don't know... I don't know how to explain it," she said as a tear slipped down her cheek.

I felt a pang of numbness reach out and grab at my heart- I was upset with Sango... but she didn't need that right now. And when I really thought about it- I didn't care. I didn't care about what she did without me around, just as long as things would get back to normal. Just as long as her feelings for me were the same.

"It's ok, Sango. That doesn't matter to me..."

She looked at me questionably, swiping away her tears in an angry manner.

"As long as you still feel the way you used to for me," I continuted, seeing her eyes lighten a bit in determination.

"I love you," she said softly.

"I love you too, Sango," I replied to reassure her. She was obviously feeling worthless. I could see it clearly in her deep green eyes now. Giving her hand a squeeze I repeated myself, "I love you too."

"I've got to go use the bathroom. When I get back I'll pay the bill and then we can go see a movie or something," her voice was soft and calm.

"I'll be waiting," I said with a nod.

She quickly left and I sat alone pondering. There was something else that was bothering Sango. I mean, yeah, she had a right to be a bit moody but there was obviously something else. I looked up towards the bathroom to see Sango exiting, shutting her phone with a distant look on her face.

We were soon in the car, and to the movies. Before I knew it we were headed towards my home.

"Did you like the movie?" she asked as we parked in the driveway.

"Yeah," I said absentmindedly. Truth be told, I hadn't even been focusing on the movie. I had been lost in my mind, going over possibilities in my head about how serious Sango was taking this thing with Ayame. I tried to figure out their friendship in my head, but I just couldn't.

"What are you thinking about?" her breath was hot against the skin of my neck and I flinched surprised by how close she suddenly was to me. She kissed me lightly across my tingling skin then ran her tongue up my neck, pressing with surprising pressure just beneath my jaw. I felt my pulse reverberate through my skull.

"I…." I felt my voice give way as her lips worked on my neck. She nipped me and nibbled at my skin, causing me to jump a bit but continued on her way. She kissed her way up my jaw stopping only to lick the shell of my ear. My body gave a quick tremor as she kissed across my cheek to stop at the corner of my mouth.

"Fuck it Sango; quit playing with me and kiss me already!" I sighed in aggravation. Much to my vexation she pulled back and gave a gentle sigh.

"As much as I'm dying to kiss you the way I want, I'm still sick," she said pulling me towards her. "This'll have to do." She quickly brushed her lips against mine. I pouted when she pulled away.

She smiled and gave me a look of fond appreciation. Her gaze locked onto mine, darting between my eyes. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone as perfect as you," she smiled letting the back of her hand gently caress my cheek. Her eyes were a deep dark green shade- intense.

"I was thinking the same thing," I replied breathily, lost to her touch. She pulled her hand back and frowned.

"I'm far from perfect Kagome," she said zipping up her jacket. "I'm probably as messed up as it gets."

"You're perfect _for me._ I love you just the way you are."

"I wish….." she paused, almost hesitant to continue. "I wish the world could understand what we have together."

"Where…." I was going to ask where she got such a random comment from, but then I realized. I still hadn't come out to my family yet. How long had it been since I had first allowed Sango's lips to meet mine- to confirm my sexuality? How long had I been with her in actuality? How long ago did I decide that this wasn't something I could share with my family without feeling as if they'd abandon me?

"I…. I don't care what the world thinks," I said hesitantly. Her eyes met mine and she had this disbelieving look. She didn't need anymore uncertainty tonight…. no, she just needed a closure- and maybe a good laugh. "All that matters is what we feel for each other. I'll tell my family tonight. I'll tell the whole fucking world!" my voice elevated with excitement. "And if they don't like it… well they can lick my fucking balls!"

That last phrase, I had gotten from InuYasha. I smiled at the thought of him yelling it at Miroku time and time again when the short haired boy had proved him wrong on many things, or when Koga pissed him off in class, or when Sesshomaru embarrassed him in front of me…. It made me question his sexuality in a humorous way.

Sango was trying her hardest to keep a straight face, but her laughter was forcing itself from her lips. Suddenly she was leaning against the steering wheel with laughter racking her body. In an instant we were both laughing really hard with each other. My abdomen was aching, but I just couldn't seem to stop laughing when I really thought about what I had just yelled.

"K-Kagome," Sango managed, still laughing ridiculously hard. "My word," she paused as more laughter fell from her lips. "Balls?"

I felt my sides cramping due to the laughter and I just shook my head, unable to talk.

Sango was the first to calm down after a long session of laughing. "Well, balls or not, I love you more than anyone could imagine," she said watching me giggle still. "Though, I'm sure I prefer you without them."

"Let's go inside, Sango. I'm ready," I said slipping on my coat as my laughter died down into silence.

"Are you sure you want to do this tonight, Kagome?"

"Oh, god, yes," I said reaching up to touch her face. "Not only for me, Sango; but for you too. You need this confirmation, and I won't wait a second longer."

She kissed me softly on the lips. "Let's go then."

**A/N**

**Ok, let me just apologize for my absence and neglect. :( I'm really sorry. I just, I dunno, wasn't comfortable with the chapter and I didn't want to put it up at all. And then all sorts of things just kept popping up. A strings concert I had to play in, a service project, volleyball tryouts (for a 15s national team, which I made XD YAY!), watching new anime (mainly Mai HiME...), guitar hero III (ha ha, yeah... ..;) and just plain old writers' block. And you can tell it's writers' block (just look at the crap ending.)... and blah, I'm still sick, but my voice is back.**

**But yeah. I believe the next chapter will be the end. D: gasp, I know... Umm. Thanks to my reviewers because I love them. XD**

**!! That reminds me... someone asked about a lemon... Well, I don't know about that really. I plan on writing one for this final chapter, but I'm doubting the quality of it because I have no experience with that sort of thing. I usually write from first hand accounts, because it's easier to be descriptive about things that way. Why do you think I've avoided writting about Sango and Kagome kissing??- yes, it's sad, but true. The author has never been kissed. and yes, she could very well write about..."physical encounters" from what she remembers from media (reading and watching things and whatnot) but... it wouldn't seem right, you know? So, I don't know... I guess I could try; it'll probably sound really bad. Lawl, it might be interesting actually...**

**but whatever, read and review please. And I apologize... hopefully the webcomic project I plan on doing after i'm done with this might interest a few of you- just to make up for the badly written lemon coming next chapter... Happy Halloween my friends (Kudos to whomever guesses what I dressed up as this year XD)- and I also apologize for the rediculously long author's note.**


	11. Chapter 11: Overwhelmed

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a bangin cellphone- "b/c txtin isnt the same w/o the LG enV" XP

**Chapter 11: Overwhelmed**

_10 months later…._

I woke up to the noise of a slamming door. I sat up, wearing an oversized jacket and some shorts, not exactly remembering where I was. Movement beside me reminded me where I was and I slipped the covers off. Feeling a bit disoriented due to the fact that I had just woken up, I glanced around the dorm looking for a clock. It read 12:47 and I knew if we didn't get ready and leave soon, we'd be late.

"Up already?" a voice mumbled catching me off guard.

"We'll be late if we don't leave now," I muttered, feeling trapped due to the body on the edge of the loft- supposedly there to keep me from falling, but I felt more like a prisoner at the moment.

"Oh, shit, you're kidding me right?"

"No, so get up," I whispered, suddenly very irritated.

Sitting up, InuYasha sighed, obviously very upset about waking up so 'early' on a Saturday.

"Let's go. I'll guard the bathroom while you take a shower." He said, rubbing at one of his bare biceps. Brushing the silver stands of hair that had fallen from his ponytail, he hopped off the side and supervised as I climbed down from the bunk. The other bed was no longer occupied- his roommate must have slammed the door on his way out.

Suddenly, his roommate, Bankotsu stumbled in- obviously still drunk. You see, nobody liked Bankotsu- it wasn't that he was a bad guy; far from it. It was just because he was so full of himself- so cocky. But that's how all the guys at this university were. InuYasha had transferred to this all boy's school in Virginia to toughen his studies for his last year. The school wasn't hard to get into, but it was hard to stay- not only that, but filled with cocky guys. Sesshomaru was an alumnus, and so was his father. InuYasha had been destined to attend- he fit in very well.

"'Yassssh," the boy drawled, blocking the door way. "I bet I could get your little girlfriend to sleep with me."

"Fuck off Bankotsu, she's not my girlfriend," he said, pushing the black haired boy out of the way and pulling me through the door. We walked into the bathroom and he pointed me towards the showers even though I already knew where they were. "Hurry it up," he muttered.

Stepping into the shower, I removed all of my clothes and got started, really excited for tonight. InuYasha and I were heading further up north to go see Sango play volleyball at her school. She too had transferred schools last minute- she had been offered a better scholarship to play at a very athletically competitive college way up north. It had been a heartbreaking thing for me, but I got over it, because I understood that she needed to save up whatever money her family had left for Kohaku to attend college.

When I was done and dressed, InuYasha wasted no time in taking his shower and getting us started up on the road.

It had been about an hour before InuYasha decided that I had enough time to sleep and wasn't taking the opportunity. I was tired, however, and was just having trouble sleeping due to anxiety.

"Are you excited?" he asked startling me.

"Hell yeah, 'Yash," I said, feeling my chest fill with excitement. "I haven't seen Sango since August- that was about two months ago."

"I know," he said with a knowing smirk. "You two plan on doing anything after the game?"

"Of course," I snapped, irritated that he even thought of disrupting our time together.

"Gees, I was just kidding. I know that I'll have to leave you two your privacy tonight," he said, causing me to blush brightly.

"I can't wait," I said, burning inside with anticipation. I knew I was just dying to see Sango. We had only had had a short time together. She had been just as supportive of me as I had been for her. I helped her with her addiction, and she helped me with my mother- who took me being attracted to women the hardest when I came out to my family. Sota was fine, and my grandfather could care less… but my mom- oh, she broke down crying and everything. She told me to leave and not come back until she called. She was obviously devastated and it hurt me deeply inside to feel as if she didn't love me anymore. I didn't get to spend Christmas with my family. I felt as if I was dying inside, but Sango was there- Sango was there for me. Every night, she'd whisper to me sweetly- she told me how wonderful I was, and just about everything she loved about me. She wasn't afraid of talking to me the way I wanted her to.

Sango easily got over her addiction for drugs and cigarettes- I was proud of her. My mother eventually called and things settled down between us. It won't ever be the same, but at least she still loves me.

The calm only lasted for a few months, however. Sango explained to me about her school switch her senior year- InuYasha had told me merely days before. I spent the summer clinging to them, but mostly Sango. We spent the summer clinging to _each other_- kissing and making love. It all came too quickly. Before I knew it she and InuYasha were packing to leave. I fussed and fussed to go with her, to help out, to at least see where she would be staying for the next year, but she knew I needed to get settled in. That had been the last I had seen of her.

Rin and I were now roommates. She had been very open and accepting of the fact that I was with Sango. Rin held me when I broke down crying because I missed Sango. She was the one who held me when she would come back from classes to find me crying silently on the floor of the dorm, holding myself tightly in anguish. Rin had become my best friend.

Every day I would miss Sango more and more. I only got to talk to her for a few minutes each day because of the small block open between our classes- she'd always be too tired to talk to me at night after volleyball practice and fall asleep when she was talking to me. I feared every night that we were drifting apart due to the distance, but that fear would melt away when, in the mornings, I would see that she left me a voice message on the phone. Each message was a different message of her love- that'd always make my mornings.

I sighed softly, looking out of the window at the sun brightening farmland scenery. I'd see Sango soon, and I couldn't be happier. Sleep eventually took me.

I woke, what seemed like minutes after but was actually hours later. The car was dark due to the absence of the sun. My eyes strained to see where we were- but it was too dark and there were no signs anywhere.

"InuYasha?" I said, startling him a bit. We swerved- he swore.

"Hell, Kags; almost made me crash."

"Sorry," I apologized, a bit shaken by the moment. What if we _had_ crashed? I would've never been able to see Sango. My heart hurt at the thought.

"Feh, I'm over it," he said turning up the heat a little.

"How far are we?" I asked looking out into the darkness behind us- behind our little illuminating headlights. The world was so big….

"A few minutes until we exit out onto the main road, and then about ten minutes from there," he said causing me to frown.

"We'll be late," I mumbled.

"We won't be late, but we won't be early- so you'll have to wait until after the match to talk to Sango," he said causing me to pout.

"I really appreciate this 'Yash," I said causing him to make his infamous 'feh' grunt.

"Don't thank me; it's just as much for you as it is for me. I got to spend time with you," he said softly. "Not only that, but I'm about to see about twenty hot girls run around in spandex," he said, changing his tone the way he usually did.

"No, really 'Yash," I said with a smile that he wasn't focusing on.

"Ok, ok," he said with a sigh, "I know Kagome."

"Man, what's the temperature?" I asked as he turned up the heat a little more.

"It's in the fucking low forties or something up here," he whined. "You should be paying me to even _be_ in this weather."

"But, 'Yash," I said innocently. "You said that this wasn't only for me."

He opened his mouth to protest then growled irritably. "You know what Kags? Lick my fucking balls."

I laughed and he cracked a smirk.

"Will you do it then?" he asked slyly.

"If you weren't driving this car right now, I'd punch you."

"Good to know I'm safe then," he chuckled, glad I was restraining myself.

The minutes it took to get to the school campus felt like hours. I was just dying to see Sango again and when I discovered that the closest parking spot was nearly two miles from the stadium, I was pissed. Turns out they were having a late night men's basketball event after the game- and since the admission fee to the volleyball match was _much_ cheaper, people decided to come early…. or so said 'Yash. So I walked with a scowl on my face but I wasn't tired. I was used to cycling; but walking was so much different. Not only that, but it was flipping cold. We arrived minutes after.

Once inside, I was a bit more relieved. It was much warmer- uncomfortably so- but at least it wasn't cold. We slipped through one of the crowded entrances into the dark arena- they had already started introducing the opposing team. InuYasha grabbed me, pulling me along, as he hunted for a spot for us.

After we sat, I was suddenly very alert. I noticed every little thing. I noticed InuYasha trying his best to get comfortable in the chair, the girls admiring him from around and glowering at me, and the hint of staged fog in the air. I noticed the fact that- I too- wasn't comfortable in my seat, some guys chatting about me- bad mouthing 'Yash even though they didn't know him, the smell of popcorn, and the fact that I was very hungry.

But through all the factors around me I saw my beautiful girl- meters and meters away from me- step forward, wave, smile, and step back as her name and number were called. My heart melted.

"Hey Kag's, look it's Sango," InuYasha said, obviously _years_ behind my observation.

"Yeah," was all I could say. My heart seemed to stop in my chest. It had been so long. Even from this distance I could recognize her long feminine figure- her wonderful muscular thighs. God, I was dying to have those powerful thighs wrapped around me and… I shuddered pleasantly at the thought.

I was barely paying attention to the first game. I just watched Sango's movements. When her team was serving, she was standing at the net- like a gate keeper. When the opposing team hit, she was there in front of them blocking most of the balls right back into their faces or onto the floor. When she was set, she took three powerful strides to blast up into the air and slam the ball at them. She was simply amazing and apparently the rest of the crowd agreed. Every time she'd do something worthy of a team cheer whether it be a kill or a block the crowd would erupt into cheering. It took me a few minutes of straining my ears and the spotting of a particular group of people to figure out exactly what they were yelling.

Right above the courtside bleachers was a group of about twenty people wearing an array of colors- it looked like one gigantically disarrayed rainbow. Eight of them- sitting in a row- had shirts single colored shirts with single letters on it and I finally realized what they spelled out." S-K-I-T-T-L-E-S" That's what they were yelling and it made me smile. Sango obviously kept on eating those Skittles instead of turning back to her bad habits.

Suddenly the noise level died down and I noticed someone was serving again. Sango served a low hard serve that seemed to drop the moment it made it over the net. Noise enveloped the arena again, but it didn't die down. The group supporting Sango started a cheer. They yelled, "San!" and another identical group that I hadn't noticed was sitting on the side that I was yelled, "Go!" just after. It was a repetition and it escaladed as more and more people in the arena joined it until she was on that back line again. A hush fell over the crowd until she served the ball and her team got the point- then they started their chant again.

It was really moving to hear so many voices in unison- it made my blood rush.

By the second game won, I was getting anxious. The team was obviously working hard to make it a fast game of three and I was worried that Sango might be too tired to spend too much time with me tonight. I was feeling a bit tired myself, due to all the excitement.

"Damn Kagome, I never realized how good Sango was at this stuff," InuYasha said surprising me. I had completely forgotten he was sitting right beside me. I suddenly worried about what he'd be up to when Sango and I were at her dorm.

"She's amazing, isn't she?" I said, once getting over my shock.

* * *

As the teams filed out and the men's basketball team invaded the court after the net was taken down, I stood up surprising InuYasha from his stupor. 

"Oh, yeah," he said standing suddenly with me. "Let's go find your girl."

I smiled at the title, truly happy that InuYasha supported us. He followed me this time, diligently, and I had to wonder why.

"Are you trusting me with finding Sango?" I questioned, catching that odd smirk on his lips at the question.

"I figured you could sniff your mate out," he said, making a clawing motion towards me.

"If I didn't wish that was true, I'd knock your brains out," I muttered- loud enough for him to hear- as I trudged further down the steps behind the slowly moving crowd.

"I'm just kidding Kags," he said laughing a bit. "I just trust you, because this is the same exact direction I would go."

I nodded; glad that my instincts of just heading down to the court and trying to slip unnoticed into the locker-room would help.

As I stepped onto the court, I walked as quickly as I could with long strides in hopes of being unnoticed and disappear into the long hallway Sango and her teammates had.

"Hold it," a voice said, causing me to freeze where I was. I glanced to my side and realized that InuYasha was nowhere to be seen. Where the hell was he? I glanced to my right to see him chatting with a basketball player- someone he knew. Shit, he had totally ditched me. They'd definitely try to throw me out or something, now that I had been caught. I felt my heart drop at the thought of having to wait out in the cold for Sango.

Turning around with probably the most pitiful look on my face I glanced up at a woman with short black hair and oddly colored, seemingly red, dark brown eyes. Her eyes widened as her face seemed to tense in familiarity.

"Well I'll be damned," she breathed.

An eyebrow cocked upwards and the woman shook her head, laughing lightly.

"I'm Head Coach of the women's volleyball team; you can call me Kagura," she said, offering a hand.

I hesitantly took it, mumbling my name in confusion.

"Yeah, you're looking for Sango, right?"

My eyes widened at the question. So, Sango had been talking about me? I blushed at the thought.

"Oh, you're blushing- that's so cute. Don't worry about it," she said with the wave of a hand. "Sango's the most open lesbian on the campus. She's got girls flocking her, but she keeps saying, 'No, I'm taken.' After I asked about you, she'd always tell me a lot about you. I've seen so many pictures of you, Kagome- heard so many stories. You know, you have a striking resemblance to a girl who plays for me. You might have seen her, her name is--"

"Do you know where I can find Sango?" I asked, hoping to stop the chatterbox woman's sentences which seemed to be running together.

"Oh," she said, waving her hand again. "The locker room's just down the hallway, to the right. It'll be the third door on your left," she said as she started to fan herself with her hand.

"Thank you," I chirped quickly and dashed off, before she could start again.

I ended up slowing in the long hallway, not to draw attention to myself as a few basketball players joked around. My heart pounded recklessly as I neared the corner. I turned, ramming into something hard and stumbling backwards a bit. I heard something heavy crash to the ground.

"Ow," I muttered softly and lowering my head due to the slight pain in it. An orange first aid kit lay on the ground, cracked and broken. Band-aids had slipped out and so had some cotton balls. My eyes caught sight of navy blue high-top Converses and I slowly trailed up the blue sweat pants. The moment my eyes hit the hips of the girl standing in front of me and the bare skin showing due to the fact that her tight shirt had ridden up a little, I felt my heart skip tons of beats. I threw my arms around her body feeling her tense a bit.

She relaxed as her arms slowly wrapped around my body and she rested her face against my head.

"I've missed you," she breathed lightly, still holding me tight. My eyes burned with tears that were quick to fall.

Oh, it had been too long.

We held each other, for I don't know how long. She was so warm; so real. I felt my body tremble and she hugged me tighter. A strangled cry was ripped from my lips as I buried my face into her neck.

"I've missed you," she repeated softly. "I've missed you so much."

My sobs had stopped, but the tears still fell.

"I missed you too," I whispered- my voice light and wispy.

She pulled away, just a little, but still kept me in her arms.

"Your eyes are as pretty as ever," she said quietly wiping the tears from my cheeks.

Hers were too, but I was still too…. I didn't even know how to explain….. I was too filled with that unexplainable emotion to even talk. I just stared into her deep green eyes.

She leant forward and rested her forehead against mine, closing her eyes. A bit of her damp brown hair slipped forward and clung to my cheek. I clenched the white long-sleeved shirt she was wearing to keep her close. She stayed silent.

"Sango?" I questioned softly.

"Yeah babe," she whispered back.

"Are you ok?" I asked; a little concerned.

"Yeah babe," she replied again. "I'm just a little…. overwhelmed by your presence."

_That_ was exactly what I was feeling.

"I love you," I whispered causing her to smile a little.

"I love you too," she whispered back, with her hold on me tightening.

Her lips met mine softly and I kissed her back with equal softness. I wanted to take it slow- to relish the feeling of her perfect lips on mine. I felt her tongue run along my lower lip gently and I allowed her entrance. As she probed my mouth, I knew that I could die a happy woman- I had been waiting for her wonderful kisses for so long. She kissed me softly for a long time, only allowing us time to pull apart for a few short breaths.

She tasted like Skittles.

"Damn Sango," I heard a voice say in a playing tone followed by a few giggles.

Sango pulled away from the kiss and rested her forehead against mine again, completely ignoring her teammates. I moved to pull away, thinking that maybe she was ignoring them for my benefit, but she tightened her hold on me and I smiled at her protectiveness.

"So, we don't even get to meet this girl you've been committed to?" another voice questioned.

Sango sighed softly and pulled away leaving one arm around my waist. I watched her glare a hot glare that could burn a hole straight to hell. It was obvious she was pissed that we had been interrupted.

"This is Kagome," she said in a foul tone.

"She's really pretty Sango," one girl said, causing me to blush. "You guys are cute together."

"I know," Sango said confidence and a cocky smirk.

The girls laughed.

"Man, those fan girls didn't stand a chance against you," another said with an admiring glance.

"Look, I'm really anxious to get out of here," Sango started letting her thumb play gently against my side.

"Ok, ok," someone said. "We'll let you go. Here, I can take that first-aid kit back to the equipment room."

"Actually," Sango said, "that's mine. I need to take it back to my dorm."

"Oh," the girl who was gathering the broken container and its scattered contents said. "Well, here."

Sango sighed warily and released me. I frowned at the loss of her clean shower scent as she reached out and took the orange container from the girl.

"We'll see you tomorrow night at practice," the girl said, getting a silent nod from Sango.

As they filed out of the hallway Sango shuddered uncomfortably.

"Sango, what's-"

She cut me off. "Hold me Kagome," she ordered. I made no hesitation to slip my arm around her side and rest my head against her should as we started walking. As we started walking towards the end of the hallway she sighed gently.

"Kagome, could you reach into my pocket and grab my hat? I'd like to put it on before we get outside," she said randomly.

"Sure," I said allowing my hand to slip down her hip and into her pocket. I felt, what could only be Skittles in a zip-lock bag and a cell phone before I got to her hat. Pulling it out- I laughed a little.

"Man, talk about team apparel," I sighed looking at the white yarn hat with the school's emblem in navy blue.

"Only the best," she said, pausing to allow me to slip it on. It was very fitting on her- it brought out her gorgeous green eyes.

I laughed a little as we started walking again.

Somehow, we were outside without passing through the stadium again. It was really cold, so I pulled Sango closer to me contently.

"Where do you want to eat?" she asked randomly.

"What?!" was my outburst, offended that she'd even suggest anything like that after we were reunited after so long. I'm sure she knew exactly what I wanted right now- and it wasn't food….

"Look, Kagome," she said pulling away from me and setting down the first-aid kit so she could open her car. "I know you really want to spend some private time with me, because there's nothing else I'd rather do more as well; but you have to be practical. I know I'm hungry after playing that match, and I know you're hungry because InuYasha never stops for anything but gas on road trips, so please- let's just do this peacefully," she said with a fond smile on her lips.

I pouted and muttered, "Fine."

She kissed me quickly on the lips, smiling the whole time. "You're so cute."

I crossed my arms over my chest feigning anger and keeping myself a little warmer.

"Come on," she said pulling me over to the side of the car and opening the door for me. "It'll be real quick," she said as I sat. She shut the door and quickly walked around to her side, jumping in and starting the car. The heat was on full blast, but it was only cold air.

"I hate when this happens," she mumbled, irritated by the cold air blowing on her face, as she turning down the power a little.

"You know, we'd be a lot warmer if we were in your bed right now," I muttered as she drove.

She laughed. "But Kagome, we'd be in this same exact spot right now if we were going to my dorm anyhow. Soon enough, babe," she smiled. "Anyways, I need to call Kikyo and ask her to hang with some friends tonight; I'd like to have the room all to ourselves."

Oh, that's right. I totally forgot about her roommate. The girl that supposedly looked like me- yeah, she didn't need to be around when we got to their dorm… I was definitely planning to throw myself on Sango the moment she let us in. So I sat quietly, without whining- might I add, and listened to **my** Sango sing along beautifully to some songs on the radio as she drove us deeper into the large campus.

* * *

**A/N-**

**Please, don't be mad. I apologize for not having the lemon I promised. I'm taking the advice of c hicks and making the story longer- but that means that the lemon will come next chapter. I guess I've brainstormed a little more to hold out the story just a few more chapters. **

**If anyone can guess the three colleges mentioned in this story you get a... umm... well, I dunno; whatever you want- how about a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you're more intelligent than everyone else. So for the hints: 1) All of the colleges are on the east coast of the united states. 2) Kagome's college happens to be in my home town AKA the "Bull City". 3) InuYasha's college is in virginia and it makes up for almost 87 percent of the population for the city it's in, which happens to also be the name of the college. 4) Sango's college happens to have 24 campuses throughout the state.**

**Ha ha, I think I made that way too easy, but who cares- I doubt anyone will do this.**

**Um, again, I got a low review number. :( So all I can ask for is your opinions and reviews... Thank you to all who reviewed- I really appreciate it. I guess that's all. So read and review and make me a happy girl! XD**


	12. Chapter 12: In Your Arms

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a calligraphy pen- which is new and makes me feel like an official artist. o

**Chapter 12: In Your Arms**

I heard Sango chuckle as I shoved the last of my chicken sandwich into my mouth. Looking up from my tray that had a few fries on it I gave her innocent face a scrutinizing look.

Shaking her head she asked, "Damn, Kagome- did you eat at all today?"

I thought about it for a moment, buying time so I could finish chewing the humongous chunk of food in my mouth. I shook my head, suddenly realizing that I hadn't. But it wasn't really in my intention to not do so- we had been in a hurry and as Sango stated earlier, InuYasha stopped for no one.

"Kagome," she sighed softly, looking a bit worried. "I wanted to talk to you about that…. I talked to Rin yesterday night and she said that you've gained some weird eating habits."

The skipped meals.

Well, there really wasn't any excuse for that. It was just that I'd stay up so late at night due to restlessness that I'd fall asleep in the class the next day and have to stay up and listen to the lesson I recorded at night to catch up for the day. Sometimes I just didn't feel like eating because of the awkward sleepiness I'd feel. Most times I was too sick with loneliness to even consider it.

"Don't worry Sango," I managed after swallowing the food in my mouth. I took a long drink of Sprite then continued. "It's not anorexia or anything. I'm healthy, ok?"

She sighed again looking me in the eye. "She says that when she gets back to the dorm, she finds you on the ground in silent hysterics sometimes… That you throw up when you're crying…. _about not being able to see me_."

I blushed, embarrassed about what she had said- about what she knew. It didn't happen everyday- the throwing up at least. Every few days it would happen when I cried; I'd feel so depressed that my body would just give up on keeping what I had eaten down. Most times, it was dry heaving because I usually didn't feel like eating prior to the breakdowns. I'd been trying to stop the breakdowns by adding more to my life, but it didn't work because every single quiet moment I had my mind was on Sango. I missed her when we were apart.

"I missed you a lot, Sango. You have to understand that," I muttered pushing around the fries in my tray.

"But that doesn't mean you shouldn't eat," she said with conviction. Her jaw was set and her eyes were locked. I sighed and looked away from her, feeling like I had failed her in some way. I suddenly felt her next to me and I couldn't help the smile that tilted my lips upwards slightly. I was glad that she decided to move to sit next to me rather than across from me- I needed the contact.

"Besides, Kagome," she whispered softly against my cheek. "I don't like twiggy girls."

I smiled at her, really feeling great for having someone as wonderful as her.

"I love you," I said softly. I felt fatigue closing in on me, but I wouldn't allow that to get the best of me. Tonight was my night with Sango and I'd be damned if I fell asleep in the car or something.

She smiled at me and kissed my cheek. Her warm hand closed around my hand- my fingers had been cold like they usually were. She laced her fingers with mine and then squeezed them lightly.

"Now that you're fed and calm, I'd like to talk a little."

"Sango, no; let's just go," I pleaded. "I don't want to talk or anything. I just-"

Her finger was on my lips silencing me.

"Please, Kagome… I know. You weren't the only one hurting from our distance. But being with you and catching up is just as important as with being with you sexually," she whispered as to not gain too much attention from the few people already staring us down in the restaurant. I bit her finger then quickly turned away and pouted, looking across the restaurant.

"I knew you wanted to _eat_ me," she said slyly, "but I didn't think it was my finger you wanted to eat." I felt something trailing down my ribs softly and a giggle broke free from my lips.

"That's right," she said in a low seductive voice; biting her lower lip and winking at me. I was suddenly very ready to do anything with her right then and there. I felt her hand slowly trail down my leg and slip inwards towards my inner thigh. The breath I had been holding shakily escaped from my lips.

She released her lip then laughed. "Man, your face is priceless."

When I realized what she had been doing I glared at her and pouted again, looking across the restaurant feeling a bit upset. What a cruel joke to play- making me all….

"Aw, Kagome, I was just teasing you."

"I know," I said curtly, very unprepared for her playfulness.

"Well then don't get mad, Kagome," she said with a gentle softness.

"Sango, I don't think you understand just how badly I want you," I said, frustrated with her. Why was she being so playful? What was her deal?

"I'm…. sorry," she said softly, looking genuinely sorry.

"Whatever," I muttered.

"Come on Kagome. I'm just excited that you're finally here with me."

"I know," I sighed gently taking hold of her hand again.

"Good, so how's that teacher guy of yours doing?"

"Oh… him?" I shook my head, thinking of the advances a certain Organic Chemistry teacher had been throwing my way. He was cute and all, but I had Sango. I didn't need him. "He's still hitting on me."

"Man, I wish I were there with you. He'd know for certain to keep away," she said with a worried look on her face.

"Don't worry about him Sango, he's not a threat," I sighed, leaning against her. "Speaking of threats- I never knew how popular you were."

"Oh, you mean those horny rainbow obsessed chicks who come to all of our home games?"

"I guess that's them," I said chuckling at her description. "What's that all about?"

"I somehow gained the attention of a large number of the lesbian girls and they kind of made a fan club- it's actually pretty creepy in a stalker-ish kind of way. I wish they'd leave me alone; no matter how many times I tell them I am taken they still try to throw themselves at me."

Sango sighed softly.

"Sounds exciting," I chirped wryly, seeing her glance at me warily.

"Far from it Kagome…. It's very tempting in the wake of your absence."

Well, at least she was being truthful.

"Well I'm glad you overcame temptation," I said, pressing my lips against the smooth skin of her neck.

"Me too, because I don't know what I'd do to myself if I ever hurt you like that again," she mumbled, her voice low but strong.

I almost questioned her about the "again" but then I thought back to Ayame. Oh yes, the gorgeous red head that seemed- for a moment- to have taken Sango away from me. I wonder what had become of her. I never bothered Sango about it, however, because it was obviously a tender subject.

I kissed her neck again, softly.

"Let's head to the dorm," she said gently, causing my heart to pick up speed. I let my eyes lock onto her deep green eyes and they were focused on me. "You _are_ ready, right?"

"I've been ready for months," I replied with a dry throat.

"Good, babe, because I've been prepared for months as well," she said standing and leading me outside and towards her car.

The drive to her dorm was mostly silent. I wasn't expecting any more than that- this was Sango's usual attitude.

"Uh, Kagome?" she asked, surprising me for a moment.

"Yeah?" I asked looking up into her reddening face. Please tell me she wasn't getting sick.

"I was wondering… if you'd like to try," she blushed a bright red before finishing. "If you'd like to try _toys_ tonight?"

A hot blush envelope my face and I seemed speechless for a moment.

"Not tonight," I said causing a look of relief to wash over her face.

"Good," she said, as we turned into a parking deck. "I think we should hold off on that until we're less… needy."

I was anxious as I waited for her to grab the first aid kit from the car- I had her duffle bag slung over my shoulder. I followed her diligently up a few flights of stairs. When we got to her floor and turned down the hall I heard her heave a sigh and slow her speed.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a little concerned at her sudden sigh.

"You're about to meet my fan club," she muttered bringing the large group of girls cluttered around one of the doors to my attention.

"Oh," I said, not really sure what to say.

"Skittles!" a few of them exclaimed as we neared.

I was met with hateful glares and scrutinizing looks.

"Hey," she said pushing her way through and pulling me along. "What is it you need guys? I'm kind of busy right now," she said taking the duffle bag from me and setting it down on the floor. She gave me a worried look and I shook my head and adverted my eyes- damn me; I was getting tired.

"Who's this?" a blonde girl with striking gray-blue eyes asked.

Now I knew what she meant by tempting; nearly all of the girls standing around the hall were hot.

"This is Kagome," she said causing them all to get confused looks.

"She's a real person?!" one exclaimed.

"What?! Of course she is," Sango said rolling her eyes. "I showed you guys pictures."

"But we thought those were just doctored pictures of Kikyo and you to get us to stop perusing you," another whined.

"That's not fair," someone else whined.

"She's got really pretty eyes."

"She's totally hot, Skittles."

"Hey, so are we going to have a threesome or not?"

"Look, ladies- please respect the fact that my girlfriend traveled all the way up here to spend time with me," Sango said in a gentle voice.

"Why are you so hot Sango?" the girls whimpered.

Sango blushed, taken by surprise.

"It's true Sango," I said with a smirk. When she lowered her voice the way she just did; it drove me wild.

"Oh, she so cute Sango!"

"Why don't you share?!"

"Ladies, please…." Sango tried again. "Look, come by tomorrow or something, ok?" she unlocked her door and kicking her things in.

"Will Kagome still be here tomorrow?"

"She's supposed to leave around noon, which is why I need you guys to leave. It's getting late- my time with her is lessening."

"Aw, you really do love her that much," one mumbled once silence fell through the hallway.

"Yes, I love her more than anything else in life," she said glancing down at me with love and affection glowing deep in her eyes.

"Ok, fine then- can we watch?"

Sango looked up and pinned them all with the same hateful glare she had gotten her teammates with earlier.

"Come on girls," someone sighed. "Let's leave them alone," she said with a downtrodden voice.

All the girls sighed gently and turned away, heading opposite directions. Apparently, a few had dorms on this hall.

Sango yanked me into the dorm and shut the door behind me, pushing me roughly against it. My shoulders stung a bit but I couldn't care any less than I did. Her lips were at my neck at once.

"Finally," she breathed kissing me over and over. "I thought they'd never leave." My skin was suddenly on fire and I was damp with arousal.

I let my hands find her hips and pulled her flush against me, wrapping my arms around her soft but muscular back. Her hands were in my hair in an instant and her mouth covered mine hotly. At the feeling of the neediness of the kiss I whimpered lightly already aroused and ready for her. Her tongue was in my mouth suddenly, filling it. I sucked against it lightly before she pulled away to catch her breath. As she breathed I let my tongue play against her lower lip. She just tasted so damn good- it wasn't fair.

"Come on Kagome," she said in a low husky voice. She shrugged out of her jacket then pulled me along to her bed and we sat beside each other. Her lips were on mine at once. It blew my mind away at how wonderful her kissing still was. I felt sloppy as my lips moved at a hurried pace against her gracefully moving lips. My fingers dug into her muscular biceps.

I hadn't even realized she was taking my hoodie off until I felt her pull away from the kiss to pull it over my head.

"Why so much clothes Kagome?" she whispered hotly as she nibbled on the lobe of my ear.

"I-aah," I couldn't even finish the sentence. My god, I was so hot for her. Her lips crushed against mine again.

My shirt was off in seconds, and Sango seemed to not even have left my lips. I was a bit thankful that she slowly trailed away from my lips and down my jaw allowing me time to catch my breath. She unclasped my bra and pushed me down against the bed. I squirmed a bit to get comfortable as she swung her leg over me, straddling me. I smiled as she nibbled at my neck, whining all the while- there was no other place I'd rather be than between Sango's powerful legs. I felt my hips rise to meet her warmth and I groaned in pleasure.

My bra had been removed and Sango had been kissing around the peaks.

"S-Sango…" I breathed heavily. "Quit…quit t-teasing me," I breathed heavily. She chuckled lightly and her breath blew against my chest.

"Now who's teasing who?" she questioned lightly, licking me slowly. "Me, trying to please you? Or you laying there looking sexy?" she questioned before she took one of my pert nipples between her teeth lightly.

I moaned. Her mouth was so warm. I pulled the beanie from her head and laced my fingers within her beautiful brown locks before pulling her down tighter. Her other hand worked expertly on my other breast.

Soon enough she pulled away to have her lips meet mine again. This kiss was a gentle kiss- it made me worry just a bit. It seemed like her feverish need was gone.

I looked at her questionably after she pulled away.

"You know I love you, right?" she asked sitting up on my legs.

My eyes darted from her long ruffled hair, to her kiss swollen lips, to her reddened cheeks, then to her deep green eyes which seemed to be filled with such intensity that my fingers numbed in her hands.

"Yes," I said with a broken voice.

She smiled at me then unbuttoned my pants.

"Good," she said before she started to pull them down. My hands caught hers weakly. She gave me a worried look but then I shook my head.

"It's not fair that I'm the only one showing skin." I managed to say watching her suddenly catch a smile.

"I was wondering when you'd realize," she said before peeling her long-sleeved shirt from her body. I watched as she got up from the bed to slip her sweatpants off.

"Wait," I called out, sitting up against my arms.

She gave me a confused look and I smiled. I always thought she looked super hot without a shirt because of the way she wore her sweat pants low on her hips.

"What is it?" she asked quickly getting back into the bed with me. She crawled on top of me and laid there. Her cheek was on my chest. She was a bit heavier than she looked, but it was comfortable- she was very warm and her skin was very soft.

"Nothing Sango," I sighed contently wrapping my arms around her back. We laid there for a moment before my hands nimbly unhooked her bra. I heard her laugh a bit and she kissed my chest very lightly; right over my heart.

She releaved my upper body from her weight just a bit so she could remover her bra. Her mouth was on mine as my hands connected with her breasts. Her hardened nipples felt great against the clammy skin of my plams.

Sango had always been a silent lover, so I wasn't disappointed when she made no sound to indicate her pleasure, but her kissing did falter a bit. She wedged her leg in between mine and gently ground her hips against me.

I groaned into her mouth at the feeling, lifting my hips for more contact. My nails dug into arms as one of my legs wrapped around her as I continued to thrust against her. She held me down smiling against my mouth.

"Let me do it," she whispered. She pulled away to pull down my jeans.

I watched her lay beside me and lean over me impatiently. Her hair fell before her face so I pushed it back behind her ear. Her eyes were deep as usual.

"Kagome," she whispered kissing me on the cheek. "You are the most perfect girl I've ever met," she whispered with a finger playing against my swollen clit through the fabric of my underwear.

I breathed heavily, not even attempting to reply to what she had just said- I wouldn't have been able to find my voice.

She continued to kiss me gently, stroking me the whole while. My whimpers were growing into gentle moans and she was obviously pleased with me.

"I love that whining you do," she said sitting up. She bent over and kissed just beneath my breasts. "Oh, your skin tastes so good Kagome," she nipped me lightly.

"Sango," I breathed again lightly. Her hands were on my sides now, gently gripping every now and then.

"No, that's not it," she muttered against my skin. I felt her tongue on my belly as she kissed her way down.

"Why'd you…." I whimpered- I couldn't speak even. I wanted to ask her why she stopped touching me where I wanted her to. Of course my skin was on fire and I was over sensitive so every little movement her mouth made on my stomach was noticed greatly- but I was done with foreplay. I needed the sex.

"That's not it either," she breathed pulling at the elastic with her teeth.

I whined lightly, upset that she was still in a playful mood.

"That's right, babe."

I felt her hands tug down my underwear and my heart began beating at an unhealthy speed as she kissed down to the apex of my thighs. At the first lick, I felt my stomach tighten in anticipation and arousal. Her fingers pressed down roughly on my clit and I whined louder, obviously exciting her because she plunged her tongue in. She pressed in synchronization with her tongue and I just couldn't keep my hips still. It felt so good- I continued to buck against her face.

Her mouth was so warm against my nether lips and I fought hard to keep from coming so fast, but it had been so long- a few strokes, laps, and plunges later I had climaxed whimpering her name all the while. My hands were tight in her hair and I had pulled her head down tightly crushing her face to my labia. When my hands fell limp due to the exhaustion of the explosive orgasm she continued to suck lightly at my clit provoking the spasms until they dwindled into nothingness.

She brought her body up again, pressing our breasts together- I could feel the beating of her heart reverberate through my chest. It was at an off synchronization with my own but I knew that we had just shared something special. It was a calming rhythm at that- despite the erratic tempo.

"Kagome," she whispered.

I opened my eyes, not realizing that I had shut them.

She smiled down at me.

I tiredly lifted my hands to her cheeks and cupped her face. I brought her lips down against mine, still feeling light headed from the heavenly climax. She kissed me softly.

"I love you," I whispered, my voice coarse.

"I love you too, Kagome. I always will, no matter what," she said kissing me again.

I felt sleep tug sharply at my eyes and fell into a comfortable one with Sango's weight resting on me.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to Sango gently singing some soft tune in my ear. When she felt me stir, she stopped. 

"Good morning Kagome," she whispered lightly to me. Somehow, during the night, I had ended up on top of her. I pressed my face into the warm skin of her neck.

"Good morning Sango," I whispered to her, still very tired and sluggish. Her arms were heavy on my back, but it was comfortable- it would always be comfortable in her arms.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah babe," I said with a smile. "Best sleep I've had in months… though, I've got to wonder. How did I get on top of you?"

She chuckled a little. "I thought you'd be a bit more comfortable if I wasn't crushing you," she said playing with my hair. "Besides, Kikyo had to come back and get her things for the morning, so I wanted to cover us up."

I was silent for a moment, thinking.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "It was really selfish of me to fall asleep."

"Shh," she pressed her lips against my head. "It ok, Kagome. I don't mind. All that matters to me is that you're in my arms right now."

That didn't make me feel any better but I closed my eyes and pressed myself against her tighter.

Sango was about to say something but then she stopped. "InuYasha called a little while ago," she said after her hesitation.

"When did he say we need to leave?" I asked, feeling pain take a stab at my heart- I suddenly felt very numb all over.

"Within the next two hours," she sighed softly. "I wish you didn't have to leave."

"Me too Sango."

"Well then," she said stroking my hair. "Let's get washed up and ready."

* * *

I quickly padded down the hall to Sango's dorm in soggy flip-flops. Unfortunately, due to the distrust Sango had for her 'fan club', she decided to stand guard instead of take a shower with me. She said they would have their way to spy on our time together and they'd stoop as low as to watch us in the showers. I didn't mind, I was never fond of public showers and was in a total rush to get out of there. I pushed her dorm door open and stepped inside, shutting it behind me. 

"Well, hello," a tired but melodious voice sounded, surprising me.

I whipped around to spot dark brown eyes on me. Pale skin contrasted greatly with the long black hair the girl who stood before me possessed.

"It's nice to meet you, Kikyo," I said, actually surprised to find that she actually looked like a much older- and taller- version of me.

"As you Kagome," she said letting her eyes play insightfully over my facial features. "You know I was a bit hesitant to admit that you looked like me back when I was in high school when I looked at pictures of you," she said nearing me. "But we do look alike."

"I was just thinking the same thing," I said hesitantly as she brought her hand to rest on my cheek.

"You've got gorgeous eyes," she said before dropping her hand.

I wanted to compliment her as well- she was beautiful but that sparked my defensive side. Sango was living with _her_; this symbol of perfection. She was _gorgeous_ and I had to wonder.

"What did Sango say when she first met you?" my cheeks lit up a bit with heat. I really was curious of her reaction.

"Oh, don't worry Kagome," she said, tucking an errant strand of damp black hair behind my ear. "I happen to prefer men." She smiled at me- but it looked unnatural.

I backed away from her and she sighed. "I'm sorry, if I seem despondent right now," she apologized.

I opened my mouth to say something but she shook her head.

"I really shouldn't be upset with you… It's just that my feeble heart is on the path of destruction."

My god, Sango and she must really get along- they were both so poetic.

"I'm… sorry?" I didn't know how to reply.

"I've fallen in love with someone who refuses to love me back… Unrequited love- all because of you."

I was about to ask what she meant by that but then Sango entered the room, shutting the door behind her. I supposed she could feel the tension around us because of the questionable look she gave us both.

"I see you two are getting acquainted," she said hesitantly eyeing our close proximity.

"I'll be back shortly," Kikyo said softly exiting the room quickly.

Sango rolled her eyes and sighed.

"She's such a sob story," she said before throwing her towel to the ground without a care and sauntering over to her dresser. "And she holds such ridiculous grudges- I hope you weren't picking a fight with her," she mumbled.

"No Sango," I said with my eyes glued to her ass- what Kikyo said completely lost in my mind the instant Sango revealed her lovely skin. How did Sango manage to keep so evenly tanned?

"Enjoying the show Kags?"

I looked up to see her playful green eyes reflected at me through a mirror resting on the top of the dresser.

I didn't reply but dropped my towel as well before moving over to her quickly. I hugged her body to me, letting my fingers play over the perfect muscle of her abs as I reveled in the feeling of the smooth skin of her back against my breasts. Her large warms hands were on my back in an instant and slid down, cupping my cheeks. She pulled me to her back causing me to sigh throatily in her ear. I kissed her shoulder.

"I love you Kagome," she said with a sigh of content.

"I love you too," I rested my face against the smooth hard mass of her perfectly ached back.

She pulled away and turned around enveloping me in her arms. Her chin was resting on my neck. I felt a heavy tear splash off my back.

"I don't know how I can stand being away from you," her voice was thick with tears.

She was crying.

"It's ok Sango," I whispered into her neck. She kissed my shoulder and then pulled back. Her lips were on mine again.

Her tears mingled in my mouth.

**A/N-**

**So, umm... yeah.**

**My first lemon. lol, it was a bit awkward... and... I dunno why, but I felt like a total pervert writing it. But yeah- tell me what you think about it; I thought it was pretty hot... Gah, pervy-ness again! D: what's happening to me? Ha ha, yeah. Well, reviews would really be appreciated (and if it's more than 5 I'll totally flip out! .) because It'll make my day.**


	13. Chapter 13: Guilt

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own some kickass Converses:P

**Chapter 13: Guilt**

The trip back home was silent with InuYasha. He seemed to be deep in thought about something, but I didn't mind really. My mind was on the wonderful night I spent with Sango. My heart was already aching and we had only departed just a few hours earlier. I was missing her so much and I sighed tiredly dreading the next few weeks until I was able to see her again for Thanksgiving break.

"Kagome?"

I was a bit startled by InuYasha's voice.

"Yeah, 'Yash, what is it?" I turned a bit to look at him. I could tell by the look on his face that he was tired.

"You think that… maybe we could stop and grab something to eat- take a little break maybe?"

This surprised me.

"S-sure," I stuttered, immediately prompting him to crazily cut lanes and exit. I wanted to yell at him, but it was obvious that he wasn't in the mood.

I began to wonder exactly what he was up to last night. I hadn't really checked on him at all and something crazy could've happened. It was obvious that he hadn't gotten any sleep; I could read that in his bloodshot amber eyes.

We parked in a fast food restaurant parking lot and he flung his door open immediately throwing up. I was out of my seatbelt and crouched over him in seconds. I rubbed his back and pulled his hair out of his face.

"Back off Kagome," he growled, seemingly clenching his teeth and shrugging my hands from his back.

"Yash, come on- now's not the time to act like a masochistic prick," I grumbled, upset with his outburst.

"I said fuck off!" he pushed me a little, but I wasn't prepared for it so I toppled backwards and hit the door pretty hard. I felt the back of my head tingle. I had hit the window.

He quickly whipped around after hearing me hit with fear in his eyes.

"Oh, shit; I'm sorry Kagome," his voice echoed for a moment before I lost him in a sea of black dots.

"Oh fuck," I heard him swear. I felt him move and in seconds I felt the door behind me give way and I toppled backwards; my sight was still lost to me.

Despite the cold air licking at my body, I felt warm arms catch me and pull me close. He was trembling.

"Kagome, come on; don't…." he seemed to have lost his voice as he pulled me completely into him arms. I could smell the vomit on his breath and gagged a bit. I shut my eyes, working on keeping the raging headache that was building in check. I opened my eyes to a blurry picture of InuYasha.

"I can't see!" I panicked then clenched my eyes closed feeling my head ache even more.

In an instant we were moving.

"Somebody, please help," he called weakly. The restaurant, which seemed to be ridiculously popular, fell into a silence. I heard footsteps approach as InuYasha barreled forwards. I felt his grip tighten on me.

"Here, set her down," I heard a voice order.

I felt InuYasha's warmth slip away as I was set down onto a cold hard surface.

"No, InuYasha," I whined lightly.

"I'm right here, Kagome," he said as he gently grabbed my hand. "Someone called 911; we'll get help."

I felt my head being lifted as the uncomfortable feeling of an ice filled bag touched the back of my head.

* * *

After being checked thoroughly by the paramedics I was fine to leave. My vision came back shortly after they set me down but because of my medical history, they wanted to check for other health issues. 

InuYasha obviously felt very guilty. He refused to even look at me. He focused completely on his food and I mine. I wasn't even hungry but I attempted to eat to make him feel better. Once we got into the car he sighed softly before starting it.

"Kagome… I can't relay to you how sorry I am," he frowned and managed to finally look up into my face, but avoided my eyes.

"It's ok Yash," I reached over and put my seat belt on. "I'm fine now; A little tender, but fine."

He shook his head and took a deep breath looking deeply into my eyes.

The look in his eye frightened me.

"You'll stay at my dorm tonight, and then you can try driving home tomorrow," he said as he started the car. We weren't too far from his college- it would take us another 40 minutes or so; but I wasn't anxious to spend the night with him. Especially since he was ridden with guilt. It would be so uncomfortable.

"To tell you the honest truth, Yash," I turned away from him to look out into the darkness that was creeping over the land. "I really don't want to stay with you tonight."

"Kagome, please…. We need to talk."

I sighed, then nodded my head; refusing to look at him.

We arrived at his dorm minutes after. He was silent as he unpacked his things and I grabbed my shower stuff.

"I'm going to take a shower," I said only receiving a nod from him.

The shower was quick and I was a bit anxious as I dried myself off when I remembered it was an all male college. After getting dressed and organizing my things a bit more I trudged back into his room on the corner of the small hallway.

I opened up the door to see InuYasha glaring at Bankotsu hotly.

"-don't see why she's gotta stay here another fucking night!" Bankotsu was finishing as I shut the door behind me.

The both of them looked at me awkwardly before InuYasha's roommate grunted in frustration.

"I'm giving you an hour InuYasha," he scowled. "Then I'm laying my ass in bed- so you'd better fucking hurry."

Bankotsu moved towards the door so I sidestepped to avoid his march.

"Good evening Kagome," he said politely nodding his head in my direction before leaving the room.

InuYasha sighed gently.

"I'll be back," he exited the room quietly with his shower things.

I settled myself down comfortably at his desk before starting up the PlayStation and playing SoulCalibur for a few minutes.

InuYasha walked back in with a towel wrapped around his waist. He shook his head gently at me with a fond smile. I blushed at the exposed skin of his chest and quickly averted my eyes as he went onto the task of getting dressed.

I hadn't even been focusing on the game and I was surprised I was already at such a high level battle. My thoughts had been on Sango, but she said _she'd_ call _me_ so I didn't bother to lift a phone and call her. She was probably busy with homework and volleyball anyways but I was still yearning to hear her voice- it would ease the loneliness just a little.

Moments later, his voice interrupted me.

"Kagome, let's talk, ok?"

I sighed, dreading what was coming next but also very apprehensive. I made my way over to the bunk when I lifted my arms and he easily lifted me. In an instant I was in his lap with a ferocious blush burning my face.

"Do you mind if we stay like this?" he questioned softly with his voice low and gentle.

"I... I'd rather not, 'Yash," I stuttered as I slid from his lap.

He took a deep breath and nodded, turning to face me with his back to the edge of the bunk. I felt worry flutter in my heart for a moment.

He must've read my eyes because he gave a soft chuckle, "Don't worry- I won't fall."

I looked up into his face to see that introspective look again.

"Where were you last night?" I blurted, immediately chastising myself. His eyes locked onto mine, smoldering.

"I was with Kikyo," he said with a gentle blush lighting his cheeks.

"Oh, really now?" I questioned with the lift of an eyebrow.

"Kagome, please- don't do that," he averted his eyes. When he finally looked back up at me he hesitated. He lifted his hand very gently and rested it on my cheek. InuYasha's hand was so warm.

"I tried…. I really did- I tried to seriously like her but then I realized. I realized that the only reason I was drawn to her was her resemblance to you. I still love you Kagome, and I've been trying to hide it- I can't anymore. It's finally hurt someone other than me and I can't let that happen."

_"I've fallen in love with someone who refuses to love me back… all because of you."  
_

Now her cryptic ranting all made sense. She was in love with InuYasha, but he was still in love with me. Now that- that wasn't fair. He probably didn't even give her a chance and only god knows what he made her do last night; she probably would've done anything to prove her love to him.

I pushed his hand away.

"Kagome, please don't judge me," he frowned looking awful upset. I gave him a dead glare and he did the unexpected. He leaned forward and kissed me.

I pulled back and punched him in the chest. His eyes look worried and I sighed, flattening my fist on his bare chest. The muscles were hard and warm beneath my palm.

"You're an asshole, 'Yash," I mumbled, not really having it in my heart to be angry with him- he looked so pathetic.

His hand was resting on my wrist gently.

"Please, just let me try it…. just one kiss," he pleaded.

"I'll feel guilty 'Yash," I murmured as his hand left my wrist to rest on my shoulder.

"If you really don't have any feelings for me, then you shouldn't feel guilty," he persuaded. He licked his lips ever so slightly.

I sighed loudly then looked him in the eye. He was right. I moved forward and gently pressed my lips against his.

His arm was around my waist instantly, pulling me against his warm skin. His mouth moved against mine expertly and I was very hesitant to part my lips even a bit. I pulled back to take a breath and he pulled me right against his mouth again. I gasped at the force and his tongue filled my mouth.

When I pulled away, I felt _very_ guilty.

I had enjoyed it.

He smiled at me with lips that were way softer than they looked, but that faltered the moment he saw the expression on my face. His eyebrows dropped into a furrow and I took several shaky breaths.

"Kagome….."

I shook my head, feeling tears burn my eyes.

"You… you should've told me not to… I didn't want to do anything you wouldn't want…. I didn't want to make you feel-"

"That's not it 'Yash," I mumbled, feeling sick to my stomach with guilt. He probably felt that he had violated me- but that was far from it.

"Then what is it, Kags?"

I looked up at him, feeling tears fall from my eyes and cried weakly. In an instant his arms were around me.

"I…. I liked it…," I cried pathetically. "I liked it and I feel bad that I did."

He was silent but he held me and I cried myself to sleep.

I don't know when, but I woke up in the dead of night. I was feeling drafty, and I realized InuYasha was out of bed.

"I apologized over and over, Sango; she's alright now, but there's something else," he whispered gently.

He was on my phone…. and talking to Sango?

"No, her memory's fine," he sighed impatiently.

…

"Look, it was completely my idea- so don't be upset with her, because she's really feeling shitty about it." He made a soft grunting noise, "It's really eating her up inside Sango."

…

"We kissed; nothing like a serious make-out session or anything, but-"

…….

"Calm down Sango," he sighed. "Look, if there's anyone you should be angry at; it should be me."

…

"What?!"

"No, no; I don't think I should-"

…

"Fine, but I'm putting it on speakerphone and I hear the conversation going any bad direction-"

…

"Please, take it easy on her."

He sighed and let my phone fall to the side in his hand. Moving quickly over to the bunk, he pulled himself up and looked me dead in the eye in surprise.

"I…ah, didn't know you were awake," he muttered.

"Why'd you fucking tell her?!" I breathed loudly, feeling tears wet my eyes again.

"She called…. and-"

I slapped him **hard**.

He held down the button for speakerphone and set the phone down on the bed with a stony look on his reddening face.

"Sango?" my voice shook.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Kagome?"

"Sango, it was a mistake…. It didn't mean anything to me and-"

"But it obviously meant something to you if you're so troubled about it." Her voice was hard and cold.

"I just feel guilty, Sango," I cried. "Wouldn't you feel guilty if you made out with someone other than me?"

She was silent.

"Sango, please. Please don't be so upset," I wiped at my eyes just a bit.

"In your mind- you're questioning if you made the right choice," she lowered her voice. "It was a choice between InuYasha and me and now you're not sure."

"I chose you Sango! Why wouldn't I be sure in my decision?"

"Please, Kagome. Don't play around with me like that," she bit out.

"Sango, after all you've been through you're going to-" InuYasha started.

"Shut the fuck up you horny bastard!"

"Sango, please don't yell at him," I tried weakly.

"Face it, Kagome. You want to experience it; a man's love, right?"

I shook my head before I spoke, "No."

"Don't lie to yourself…. don't lie to _me_."

"Sango, I love you- this shouldn't break us apart like that," my tears fell quickly.

"You're right, my anger's gone, ok?" she sighed, breathing heavily. "Just," a frustrated sound, "did it have to be 'Yash?"

"I…. I don't know," I frowned, realizing that she was right…. I _was_ "curious".

"Look… Kagome, I understand that you want to…. 'explore' but…. think about what it'd do to me; how it'd make me feel," her voice was low and tired.

"I was sure that I wouldn't feel anything, that I wouldn't even like it…. I didn't know that'd it make me feel the way it did- and I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"I can hear the tears in your words, Kagome…. stop crying, ok?"

"Ok," I repeated, but tears started harder.

"Turn off the speakerphone," she ordered.

I picked up the phone and did just that, putting it to my ear.

"Kagome?"

"Yes?" I whimpered.

"I love you," she said softly.

I felt my tears pick up, making me feel even more disgusting with guilt.

"It's ok, Kagome. I guess I understand- just know that I love you, ok? At the end of the day, you're the one I love; whether you fuck with InuYasha, or not."

"I'd never…."

"I know, Kagome- I was trying to lighten the mood; I guess I managed to piss two people off at once though."

"What?" That was completely random.

"Kikyo just gave me this evil glare then stormed out of the room…. I think she has this thing for 'Yash," I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah," was all I could say.

"I'm actually really tired and I have a class first thing in the morning, so I'm going to bed."

"Yeah," I repeated.

"I love you, Kagome. I'll call soon."

"I love you too," I sighed, knowing tomorrow- well technically today seeing as it was a little past one- I'd be extremely tired.

"Goodnight, babe."

"Goodnight."

The next few hours it took me to get home, then ready for class and then back to my dorm, I was ridiculously tired. I collapsed right on the floor the moment I shut the door behind me.

"Ok, Kagome, what the hell?"

Rin was hovering over me the moment I hit the floor.

I smiled at her, and then she smiled back.

"I was worried about you; what happened?"

"I ended up staying an extra night at 'Yash's dorm," I mumbled, tucking my hands under my head.

Rin's eyebrows furrowed over her cute little face.

"I…. don't understand. Why?"

"I got hurt and he decided that it was in his authority to tell me not to drive home, but in the end it was all a scheme to get me to make out with him-"

"No!" she gasped theatrically.

"Shut up Rin," I pushed her a little, without opening my eyes. I was too tired to even bother.

"Did you?" she was leant over me again.

"Yeah," I said warily.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes Rin," I opened my eyes to see large surprised brown eyes staring right down at me.

"You told Sango, didn't you?"

"You know; I kind of like this- you on top and all…."

She rolled her eyes and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"So you told Sango…. Did she freak out?"

"Worse than I could've imagined," I somehow found strength to sit up. My eyes were wet again at the memory of her cold voice snapping at me.

"She didn't… break up with you, did she?"

"No- but I would feel so much better if she did. Sometimes I feel so undeserving of her," I stood and quickly made my way over to my bed and flopped down on it. I clenched my eyes shut to keep the tears away. Rin followed diligently, like a lost child.

"Don't say that, Kagome," her voice was as soft as her hands as they played with my hair.

"It's true, Rin," I sighed feeling less and less about myself. How could I have even thought of kissing InuYasha like I did? What kind of whore was I?

"She should've fussed me out then dropped me. What I did was wrong."

"You love her though," Rin spoke boldly.

I cracked a tired eye open to look at her. She was smiling.

"Yeah- I love her more than anything."

"Get some rest, Kagome," she said before standing from my bed. Rin settled at her desk to get her studying done.

I couldn't sleep, however, so I opted to take out Sango's diary and read a bit more of it. As of lately, when I'd get really lonely after crying my heart out- I'd read a little bit of the large book each day. It held me together at times- it showed me how hard Sango's life was and it made me appreciate her more. It made me feel close to her as well. I wasn't sure what it was about secrets... Whether it is the fact that someone trusted you enough to disclose, or that they just _wanted_ to share that little part of themselves with you that no one else gets to have or see- but it was a great feeling of responsibility when I read that diary. I knew Sango trusted me with her heart and I knew that there were parts of Sango's personality and past that only I had "seen". In the end, I was one of the few that were very close to Sango; and I was proud of that. I just wish I could be truthful with her…. I wish I could explain to her my mixed feelings about not only herself, but InuYasha. I wish I wasn't afraid of her reaction. I mean, I loved Sango- I didn't want her angry with me.

With a deep and final sigh, I opened up the book to where I had left off. It was strangely enlightening, how Sango wrote. When she didn't have much to write, she'd reminisce about her past. There was so much to her; so much that made her who she was. And I realized that I loved every part of that.

_-It's only been a few weeks (four to be exact) since Kagome's been in the hospital. It seems like it's been an eternity. My heart still aches, but it's numbed ridiculously, and I hate that. I'd rather feel pain than this dull ache. I can only sit and feel sorry for myself nowadays. If I hadn't been so careless as to stop the car where I did, Kagome would probably still be with me. If that asshole wasn't drunk, she'd be here. God- I felt so satisfied when my fist smashed against his face those days ago… but that didn't change anything._

_I'm still here alone._

_InuYasha's really a good guy- I can see why Kagome had a dilemma when finally deciding between us. He's caring, despite the fact that he doesn't want to show it. Everyday, he asks me if I want to chill with him- he can see how empty I am inside. He doesn't want me to be lonely- but right now I just want to be alone. The fact that he's my rival doesn't factor into that at all, however. I'm not talking to anyone- I'm not even talking to my family. I know that no one can fill the void left by Kagome's absence- it'd make me feel even weaker inside if someone did._

_God- I've never loved someone so much in my life. I've never hurt so much before in my life either._

_I thought I'd never feel so much pain again, but this is the worst I've felt since Janis hurt me that while back. I fell so hard for her- her long golden hair and her beautiful blue eyes…. (I seem to have a thing for blue eyes). She was sweet- my first __actual__ girlfriend. I loved her but she…. she decided that she'd rather a __**boy**__friend. How she even ended up with Hojo was a mystery- I suppose I took their friendship too lightly. It was tough getting over her, but I eventually did over time. Actually, when I think about it; I didn't really get over her. I numbed inside, and then a week or two later my father killed himself._

_That distracted me enough. Then I met Kagome and my whole perspective on the worth of life changed. I wonder how Janis is doing- no doubt in college; she was incredibly smart. Ha, I realize now how much better Kagome is for me. I love Kagome more than I've loved anyone. I think I'll go and visit her today- it's been a while… I'm sure she gets lonely too….. I'm sure she can tell when I'm not around- I'm sure she misses me too._

I silently shut the book. I hadn't really discussed with Sango about her past relationships. I feel regret now- but would she have opened up? It might've taken some persuasion. Flipping over onto my back I pouted. I hated knowing that Sango was upset with me- even a smidge- and having her miles and miles away didn't ease that tiny ache pestering my chest, but when my phone rang I smiled. Sango was calling and I couldn't be happier.

**A/N**

**First off, I want to apologize for having you guys wait so long for an update. I had writers block at first, and then I had a rediculously busy week or so and some crazy shit going on in my life. So I apologize so fervently that you can feel it's force melting through the computer... trust me, you can- you just don't know what it is yet.**

**Ah, I don't like this chapter much... but yeah. I had to update. I think the next chapter or two will be then end. I'll continue the story, however, under a different title (can you say "sequel":D). If I continue writing in first person, I'm going to drive myself crazy. 0.o so ... Thanks a bunch to my reviewers- you guys rock. really. If I could, I'd stalk each and every one of you. ha ha, jk- but that wasn't funny, was it:[**

**anyways- I had a tough time finding a "First" for Sango. Just turns out, though, that there's a sweet InuYasha game for DS and the main character was just perfect. anyways, read and review**


	14. Chapter 14: She Left Me

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, own a beautiful acoustic guitar which i got for Christmas.

**Chapter 14: She Left Me**

_I don't even know how it happened- everything was going so well. I spent winter break with Sango and I mended the hole of distrust in her heart. Everything was going so well…._

Rin glanced at me for nearly the twentieth time in the past hour. I didn't even bother to hide my tears.

"Kagome…. maybe you should," she started but didn't finish. Her eyes did a quick once over of my form curled up on the bed. I looked over at her, feeling the tears slip down my nose onto my comforter. She knew better than to offer advice- there wasn't any advice I could be given that would fix any of the mess I had made.

"God, Kagome," she sighed with wet eyes. She wasn't crying for me was she? I didn't deserve her tears- I didn't deserve her sympathy. I didn't deserve anyone's sympathy.

"I hate seeing you like this," she continued. I just stared at her with a blank expression- it couldn't be anything else because I was feeling so empty inside.

"Are you hungry? Maybe we can go down to the cafeteria near the stadium and grab something to eat," she suggested, trying her best.

I didn't answer. It's not that I refused to answer; it's that I _couldn't_ answer- not even if I tried.

"Please Kagome…. It's almost been two days. If you don't eat, you'll get sick."

I shut my eyes. I was tired. I was so tired.

"I don't know what to do," she whimpered pathetically.

My heart hurt at the thought of her worrying about me. I didn't deserve her concern.

I heard her sniffle then climb up into her bunk.

As I lay there soaking up the silence I wished only one thing. I wished to die quietly and painlessly. I soon fell into a troubled sleep.

_His lips splayed hotly against mine. I kissed back with fervor seemingly trying to engulf his tongue. My mind was running a mile a minute as his hands slipped up my shirt. I could feel his arousal pressing into me._

_Who would've known- The perfect student just minutes away from fucking her Organic Chemistry professor?_

_Why, you wonder. Why would I be doing this? There really wasn't an answer. Everything was going so well…. I fucked up._

"Sesshomaru, she's getting sick and I don't know what to do," Rin's voice broke through my sleep. I kept my eyes closed.

"If the story you've told me is true then she's a cheating bitch and you shouldn't worry about her," his deep voice reverberated through everything.

"Sesshy, please; I need to help her," her voice was breaking with emotion.

"Forget the wench. I didn't come out here to watch you cry over an unfaithful whore. I came to take you out to dinner and I intend to do so- go clean yourself up. I'll be waiting for you here," he ordered. Rin sighed and I listened as she gathered her thing and exited the room.

Dinner sounded great- my body was pleading with me, but I didn't want to move. I realized that it was the fact that I didn't have the energy to move. I could feel Sesshomaru's eyes burning into me. I felt like I would catch on fire at any moment.

"Why'd you do it, Kagome?" he asked. I could still feel his eyes on me.

Opened my eyes tiredly and looked deeply into his amber ones…. eyes so much like his brother's. I know why people would always say Sesshomaru was the cold uncaring brother- but if they ever took the time to really look at him. If they ever took the time to really look into his eyes they'd know that he really did care at times.

Tears slipped down my cheeks and he obviously was suddenly annoyed.

"You are so pathetic, sitting here in your self pity. I don't know why you're crying- no one is going to side with you. You were in the wrong."

"She left me," I croaked pathetically.

"You deserve it."

"She left me," I cried harder. An unexplainable numbness shot through me…. I felt as if my heart was slowly dying.

He gave me a deep look in the eye.

"If I were her, I wouldn't take you back," he said harshly. "You made the worst choice of your life when you brought that man into this room. The worst choice of your life," he repeated.

I felt tears slip across my face and drop onto the same spot they had been for the past few days.

"You fucked up," his voice rose. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with your life." He was yelling.

"She was my life….."

"Then kill yourself, because you're wasting space," he said finally.

I decided to seriously consider his suggestion.

When Rin came back, he coaxed her into leaving with him easily.

Silence ate me alive. But all the while in the silence the sound of her angry voice tore through my head again and again. I could hear her stuttering and confusion- her anger.

_I hadn't even realized that she had entered the room until Byakuya pushed me away slightly. When I turned around I saw anger blazing in deep green depths. It was as if she had blinders on because she stormed forward and yanked me away from him. The speed at which her fist flew into his face was inhuman. He didn't have a chance to even try to escape, especially not with his pants dropped down to his ankles._

_He was out cold on the ground in seconds. Sango stomped down, with satisfaction, on his crotch._

"_Bastard," she snarled._

_I looked up at Rin in the doorway before letting my eyes settled on Sango. She had her hand on her forehead and I saw tears slip down her cheeks. Her anger seemed to have diminished immediately. Sango had been so moody on the phone just a few days before..._

"_Why, Kagome?" she cried. "I…You….. We were doing so well…. I just s-started to trust you again," her voice was breaking. "A-and w-w-we….."_

_I watched Sango break down in front of me and my eyes began to tear. She turned away from me._

"_I don't even know what to do," her voice was quaking._

_I stepped forward and hesitantly tried to wrap my arms around her. She easily threw me off of her._

"_No, don't," she said coldly._

"_Sango- just let me-" I started weakly._

"_Just let you what?!! Explain?! T-there's nothing to fucking explain!" her voice broke with emotion._

_I looked up to see anger simmering hotly with disappointment and hurt in her eyes. Her tearstained cheeks were flushed._

"_I-I can't be with you," she said. "I can't handle this…. not anymore."_

"_Wait, Sango," I finally found my voice again._

"_Shut up Kagome. Nothing you can say now will change my mind. Just stay with your little bitch of a boyfriend until he wakes up. We're through," she said with a wet icy glare._

_She stormed out of the room, harshly pushing Rin out of the way._

_Why did I do what I did? Everything was going so well…._

I realized that I had nothing to live for anymore. There was nothing left for me. I had lost the most important person of my life. She hated me now…. she hated me. I'd hate me too. I do hate me….. I stared into the emptiness of the room that would be all that I had until I died.

Rin came back to find me staring out into nothing. Tears were still pouring out of my eyes. She knelt beside me and set down her take away tray.

"Kagome, please eat something," she said softly, touching my sticky cheek.

I flinched.

"Rin," I said barely making noise.

"Yes, Kagome- I'm here," she continued to stroke my cheek.

"I….. I'm sorry." If I hadn't been such a whore, she wouldn't have been worrying about me.

She had a confused look on her face. Silence seeped between us.

"Kagome…. do you know why Sango was down here to begin with?"

I hadn't even thought of that. It was really strange for her to be home when school was still in session. What exactly was she doing?

"No," I finally answered.

Her voice was still very gentle, "Well…. her grandmother was hospitalized…. Kaede died this morning."

In an instant I felt even more empty- if that was even possible. I felt my throat constrict and I couldn't speak. I couldn't feel anymore worse than I did then- I never had before in my life. Sango must be in worse condition than I am. She comes home to probably be with her dying grandmother during her last moments and watch over her little brother- and when she visits her girlfriend for support she finds her just moments away from fucking some random guy.

That only made me feel disgusting.

"Oh, Kagome," Rin continued gently.

I hadn't realized I was sobbing again.

"Rin… I'm so awful," I continued to cry. "I'm so awful…."

"Shh, Kagome. It'll all be fine- everything will be ok eventually."

How can she be so hopeful when she sees my situation?

"When Rin?! I'm not naive. Hope won't do anything but disappoint me in this situation."

"How do you know?! She misses you so much Kags," Rin said with tears gathering in her eyes.

"And how do you know that?"

"I just saw her Kagome- she wants me to give you the information about the funeral…. she's a total mess. It's obvious she doesn't know what to do without you."

"She's just probably still grieving over her grandmother," I said wiping at my tears.

"Think what you want, Kags. You need her, and she needs you."

"I don't know what to do," I mumbled. "I don't even know if I can face her at the funeral."

"She needs you Kagome… you have to be there," she watched me sit up.

"I'm going to be there- I need to be there…. Kaede was special to me too."

"Well then, it's decided."

I sighed tiredly, "I'm going to take a shower." I needed to go to bed.

"We'll talk more when you get back," she said helping me up onto numbed legs.

She helped me gather my things and watched as I hobbled down the hall and into the showers. It was at times like being in the showers that I liked to think about just anything possible. The sound of the water just pounding against anything in its way was calming- I had always loved the sound of rain.

I returned a good while later clean and refreshed. Rin sat in her bunk, on the phone.

"She's back; do you want to talk to her?" her voice was slow and soft.

…

"Ok; then we'll see you in a couple of days," she ended the call.

I took a seat on my bed, leaning against the wall.

Rin smiled, "It's good to see you upright."

I chanced a smile.

Silence once again invaded and I asked, "Who was that on the phone?"

Rin froze in her movement of picking up her book before continuing. The pause was quite noticeable.

"It was Sango."

I felt my heart ache ridiculously at her name.

"She was asking about you."

"My heart hurts every time I think about her…. every time I hear her name….."

"I'm sorry," she said gently. "I can't imagine how I'd handle breaking up with Shesshy… I'm so reliant on him."

"It's hard… but what's worse is the thought… the possibility of me never meaning anything to her ever again."

"She still loves you Kags."

"She may still love me- but she doesn't trust me and a relationship can't survive without trust. She may not ever want to date me again."

"I doubt that Kagome. When you love someone so much- you'll keep going back to them, no matter what they do to you."

"That's not fair to her Rin. She deserves so much better……"

It was quiet again so I sighed and let myself fall into a laying position.

"Do you want the lights off?"

"No, you can turn them off when you're done reading."

"Goodnight Kagome."

"Goodnight Rin."

I fell asleep a lot easier that night.

* * *

**A/N: Oh my gosh... ok, let me first apologize for disappearing so long. I was having a personal crisis (relationship wise and slightly emotional- just to fill you in more. It was crazy- still is. I haven't solved any of the problem yet... sigh; anyways i've pretty much given up on that and decided to focus on this chapter.). I know, excuses- excuses. But that's the truth and I can't apologize enough. Really, I feel awful for not updating. And then I write this crap chapter. T.T gah, read and review... hopefully I'll get around to updating soon...**


	15. Chapter 15: Wake Me Up

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, have one pimpin set of 24 Sharpies. "Wake Me Up When September Ends" (c) Green Day

**Chapter 15: Wake Me Up**

Despite what she had just said to me, I was happy. I was happy with that- I was happy with the fact that she let me back into her life.

"Kagome?"

I looked up into her tired green eyes. She was hurting so much, and all I could do was think about myself. No wonder she decided what she had.

"Yes Sango?"

Her name hadn't brought me pain.

"Are you going to be ok?"

I was instantly searching her eyes deeply once again. Such concern for me…. It wasn't deserved.

"Yeah," tears started in my eyes.

"I don't want you to cry over this," she said looking away.

"You're too good to me, Sango. All I ever did was hurt you," I said softly.

I hated seeing the despair in her eyes. I glanced at the boxes packed in the corner or the living room.

"That's a lie Kagome. Despite what we've been through recently, you were always there… well, when you could be. You've helped me learn."

I looked up confused. Suddenly, she was there beside me. I felt my heart leap into my chest as her warm fingers briefly met my arm.

"You taught me about what real love is and how to cope with losses. So many emotions I didn't know."

A tear fell heavily from my eye.

"I wish you didn't have to go," I cried gently. There was so much I wanted to do for her- in return. To give her what she deserved. To atone for my wrongdoings towards her.

"Kagome, I've got to go back to school and finish up. I'll be back to be with Kohaku every now and then too," she said with a light voice.

Her life…. It was empty now, she said. Nothing left for her to do but get a job and take care of her little brother. She lived for him now, she said. He was all that was important.

I understood that. After all, she and I… we couldn't be. 'We' didn't exist in that context and however painful that was; it didn't really hurt as bad as I thought it would. I understood why. I understood why I couldn't be with her. I understood why she couldn't be with me.

I was happy.

I was happy she made that decision because I had always been bad at making them myself. She made the best one- the best decision; and I understood.

"I promise to be a big sister to Kohaku like I am to Sota," I said forcing a smile.

"I appreciate that, Kagome. I really do," her hand was resting in mine and she made no move to tighten her grip- no move to _hold_ my hand.

A placid relationship was all we had together. Every thought should be sisterly, every tender caress, every hug, every word exchanged. Placid.

_I stood, looking at her long after everyone had left the memorial service at the shrine. She stood by herself silently, gazing upwards into the night sky which was brightly lit by the stars working hard in the absence of the moon. It was the beginning of the month._

_Sango- she was as pretty as ever. Beautiful as always; and I admired her from afar. I wanted to say something to her- but I couldn't find the courage. Now, when we were alone was the perfect time for my strength to come. I advanced, admiring her all the way. Her beautiful brown locks were sweepingly flowing in the gentle evening breeze. __Her perfectly tanned skin took on a wonderful tone in the absence of light. __Her green eyes, which were darker than I had ever __seen,__ were focused on something that couldn't be explained.__ Something that couldn't be seen physically._

_"Sango?"_

_She started, obviously not seeing me approach._

_"Kagome," she said with an empty smile. "Thank you for coming."_

_The tears started before I could even start speaking. In an instant I felt weak._

_"Kaede was…. She was important to me too," I said, only now realizing how tightly knit the remains of her family had been with the remains of mine._

_My voice was so weak. Weaker than I was as a person even._

_"I know, Kagome," she said looking at me fully with tired eyes. __Tepid and dark were her eyes. __A green so ti__red, so tedious- my heart ached. __"She really…."_

_Her voice cracked and she cried._

_I hadn't seen her cry all throughout the service._

_I hesitantly opened my arms and offered support. She flung herself into my arms without hesitation.__I felt whole again with her in my arms. I felt her warmth complete mine- I felt __**perfect**__ with her in my arms._

_"I'm sorry Kagome," she cried weakly._

_"I'm sorry Sango," I cried with her and she gently wrapped her arms around me, pulling me tightly against her_

_"I'm sorry," we cried together in weakness._

That had been the last moment I was allowed to think of Sango as anything other than a sister.

My heart died that night.

I was happy… wasn't I?

"Sango?" I questioned as she pulled her hand away once I tightened my grip on it unknowingly.

She gave me an acknowledging glance. Her bangs had grown so long.

"Are you sure… this is what you want?"

All of her confidence seemed to seep from her face. She suddenly looked so much older.

"Yes, Kagome. This is what's best-"

"But is it what you want?" I cut her off. I couldn't lose her without a fight.

She was silent and her eyes were once again on me.

"You tell me Kagome." Her voice sounded bitter. "I wait years for you to wake from a coma, and then fight away competition for your heart when you were regaining your memory, then I fight to keep your heart, only to have you cheat on me- you tell me. Is this what I want?"

"I wouldn't know that Sango," I said trying my best to keep tears from my eyes.

"Kagome, please. I'm certainly not in the mood for this."

"Ok, I understand," I said standing. "I just thought that maybe…. Maybe I'd get another chance."

"Second chances aren't worth it. You can't change people that easily, Kagome."

"But what about you?" I asked as she stood to escort me to the door.

"What about me? Just because I stopped smoking- you think that's a big change? I'm still the same inside- it was merely a habit I needed to break. You, on the other hand… You've got a whole other problem that I can't possibly try to work with."

That stung- the stinging of that wound reflected the stinging in my eyes.

"I can't…. I can't live without-"

"Bullshit, Kagome. Bullshit. Your survival doesn't depend on another person. You're responsible for yourself," she said with a hard tone. Her ears were turning red- she was getting angry. I didn't want her angry, but she needed to see.

"What about Kohaku? So you're just going to leave him?"

"No- I didn't say that-"

"Well then, he doesn't need you right? If he's responsible for himself," I argued back.

"That's different and-"

"He can take care of himself? He doesn't need you?"

"Shut up."

I sighed in defeat. She was set on not being with me….. I wasn't ever going to be with her again, was I?

"Look, Kagome. You don't need me. You're a beautiful girl- I'm sure you'll eventually find someone who's right for you. I'm sorry, but I don't think that someone is me."

"I said I was sorry, what am I supposed to do?" Sango slowly faded as my vision was blurred by tears.

"I accept your apology, Kagome. I just can't be with you."

My heart would never return. Something inside shut off- something inside died.

"Ok, Sango." I blinked away my tears.

Sango gave me a worried look.

"Kagome?" That spacey stare she had before had once again appeared in her tired green eyes- except she was staring right at me.

"I'm happy with that," I said softly. "I'm happy with your decision."

"Kagome? Are you ok?"

"I'm happy," I said with tears pouring relentlessly out of my eyes.

My body hurt so much all over. The finality of it all… it was too much to handle. I wasn't happy- I was numb. I should never mistake that for happiness; it's the worst thing to do. So numb, so weak. So…

I blacked out.

_

* * *

Seven__ Months Later…._

This feeling…. How to describe such a serene feeling would be almost impossible. An empty floating feeling; a hazy swim in a large cold lake that had swallowed me up just mere seconds before. The surprise of hitting its surface and being enveloped by its cool liquid depth had faded merely seconds ago… or had it _really_ been seconds. It seems like I've been struggling for some time to reach its glassy surface… I was so close… so close.

My eyes worked hard to open, my pupils retracting violently to the sudden light. Darkness continued to dance before my eyes, despite the fact of me knowing they were open. The room I was in was blindingly white, successfully giving me a headache. I tried to roll onto my side; push the covers from my body. My limbs were not my own, and neither was my body. I felt so lethargic and clumsy.

This time, it was Rin's brown eyes that met my own with surprise and excitement dancing in their childlike depths.

I wanted to say something, but I dare not speak- remembering the last time I had awoken in a hospital.

"Oh, Kagome!" she exclaimed, jumping up from her seat and dashing over to me. Her arms were instantly around me and she was babbling in excitement. My head ached just a bit from the combined noise of Rin's chatter and the TV- doing what seemed to me to be- blaring MTV.

Instantly, as if she hadn't been invading my dreams enough, Sango's image invaded my thoughts.

I wondered where she was and how she was doing. I wondered how school was going for her?...

"How long?" I suddenly spit out in a raspy voice.

"Whoa, Kagome, take it easy," Rin said warily eying the heart monitor machine and releasing me from her grasp.

"How long have I been asleep?" my jaw felt slack and ached from that simple sentence.

"Seven months," she replied.

"Oh," I said simply.

In an instant, I was wondering why another coma had captured me. It just wasn't normal. Brushing that thought away, I prepped myself for the next question I was going to ask. I needed to know how Sango was doing. Looking up, I found Rin gazing inquisitively into my eyes.

"God, I'm so jealous of how beautiful your eyes are," she sighed with an admiring smile.

"Rin, how's Sango?"

She smiled and looked away. She looked upset- angry even. Worry quickly seized me at her simple movement. Had something happened to Sango? I was about to ask her again, but then I realized that she hadn't exactly looked away from me- she had looked towards the TV and you won't believe who I saw on it.

"-might know her better as the daughter of the late lead guitarist of the Demon Slayers. Anyways, enough about that; here's the premier of the new number one video…"

Whatever the host of the show was saying faded into the back of my mind as Sango's face lit the screen.

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe my eyes. She was so beautiful- she had cut her hair a bit. Her eyes were hard and green like the color of the darkest grass. God, she just looked breathtaking. She looked like a rock star. I couldn't believe my ears either. Sango was singing. She was on live television. She was in a band. She was playing a guitar. In an instant, it all came back to me.

_It was merely days before my life changing accident.__I was sitting in Sango's room with the TV on, waiting for her to get back with some snacks. Curiosity attacked and I let myself slid__e__ off her bed, onto the floor. Very carefully, I reached under the bed blindly, in hopes of finding something interesting. The first thing my fingers came in contact with was a photo album… but all of the photos had been removed. I reached under again and my fingers touched a flat rope of some kind. I pulled gently to find that whatever was on the end__ of that rope was pretty heavy._

_Tugging even harder, I found that my hand had hitched onto __the strap of __a heavy black and red__ electric guitar. It seemed to be a Stratocaster._

_"Oh, you've found that piece of crap," Sango said entering with her arms filled with snacks and sodas._

_"It's a really nice guitar Sango," I gently ran my fingers over the strings._

_"It's a piece of shit from my piece of shit father. It's not even a Strat, it's a Starcaster."_

_Looking closely, I realized she was right, but still…._

_"Do you play?"_

_"Yeah; that's the only thing he some__how__ ended up doing for me- __teaching me how to play guitar. I've pretty much been playing all my life."_

_"So you're good?"_

_"Yeah; but I'd rather not play that one," she set the __snacks__ down on her bed.__ She moved over to her closet and removed an acoustic one. "I'll play this one though. Give me a little time to get ready."_

_I smiled, watching her sit on the bed and admiring her. She was so beautiful- so perfect. She had the deepest, greenes__t, loveliest eyes I'd ever seen. She was all mine and I never wanted to let her go. I loved her._

_In an instant, the notes of the song she had decided to play filled my ears. I knew this __song;__ I thought the music was beautiful; I could tell even by the repetition of just three notes that she __was __**skilled**__ at playing this instrument. However, the moment her lips parted and her voice floated out- I knew what she was __**gifted**__ in._

_"__Summer has__come and passed, the innocent can never last," she started softly looking down at her fingers as the notes tumbled melodically._

_"__**Wake me up**__, when September ends," her eyes were immediately on me. A smile slipped to her lips easily and I could tell that she not only had the talent for this, but she had the passion. It was something she enjoyed doing. How had I not known this before?_

_"Like my father's come to pass, seven years has gone so fast. __**Wake me up**__, when September ends."_

"Wake me up," I thought watching her rock the crowd easily.

God, how did this even happen? How was this possible? Was it even possible to become so big within seven months?

"Surprised huh?" Rin asked taking a seat on the bed.

"Yeah," I rasped softly.

"Want to know how it happened?" a voice sounded behind me.

At the speed my head turned, I probably could've snapped my neck.

She was standing there, looking like a total punk- looking like a total rock star. Eyes still as green. She was so hot. She smiled at me, with tears slipping down her cheeks. In an instant, I was in her arms.

* * *

**A/N: **Hello all. I'm back and on the move with this story and have another Sango/Kagome in the works. :D The next chapter or so, however, will be wrapping Forgotten Memories up. Don't be too sad though because there's more to come now! I plan to update within the next week or two.

I have to apologize for my absence. Time caught up with me and lapped me about six times over. T.T I've been really busy with school (I've got 2 AP classes this semester), volleyball (we recently went to a Tournament in Richmond), school clubs (and being president for a good many of them), and just not dying of the tiring repetition of life. In addition to that my personal life has been in the rapids- but that's all good now. Well, as good as it's going to get, and I'm fine with that. : I'm just thankful for everything I have- including you my reviewers! So review and make me happy. :D

Oh yeah, and I learned in Language Arts a few years back that when authors put poetry or song lyrics in their work, it usually has a deeper meaning. That means I didn't just throw this song in there just for the heck of it. Can anyone guess about this song? What does this song mean to both Sango _and_ Kagome?


	16. Chapter 16: Gathering My Courage

**A/N: **Decided to do this at the begining for once. I'd like to say it was quite the enjoyable process of writing this story. I loved reading the reviews and getting feedback on my chapters. This is the FINAL INSTALLMENT of Forgotten Memories! I was hesitant to post it up because I got a disappointing amount of reviews for the last chapter! :( I was even going to discontinue the story. But I didn't! So here's the final chapter- and don't worry. I'm working on a sequel, REVIEWS will be great motivation for that. Should I even make a sequel??... So enjoy this last chapter, and tell me what you think about the chapter and what you want for the sequel.

* * *

Rated M for: Language and sexual themes and lesbians.

Disclaimer: I **don't** own InuYasha and co. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do, however, have Super Smash Bros Brawl and am loving it!

**Chapter 16: Gathering My Courage**

"That'd be nice," my voice scraped painfully.

"Ah, where to start?" she contemplated softly; her voice now held an ever present melodic tone. The effects of becoming who she was today were so obvious. The training of her voice was prevailing over natural casting.

"How about you start when Kagome passed out?" Rin asked with a dip in her eyebrows. There was a slight hint of anger in her almond colored eyes…. Was that directed at Sango?

"Rin, I said I was sorry-"

"She went into fucking shock because of you."

So that was what happened.

"Rin, please," I wheezed before coughing after seeing the fight rise resiliently in her glare.

"What exactly went on that night Sango?" Rin spat out.

God, I hadn't seen her angry before in my life and I was scared.

"I don't think now's the time to talk about that," Sango said calmly adjusting the Bluetooth headset on her ear. She glanced at me, and I looked away. I remember exactly what we were talking about that day. My chest filled with pain and my eyes watered.

"No, we're going to fucking talk about it because after it happened you stayed around for what? Two or three days then disappeared back to your stupid dorm with that stupid girl. You never came back to explain what happened! Kagome's family nearly fell apart and all you cared about was getting back to school and checking on that little bitch of a brother you have every once in a while," Rin spat out hatefully. Her eyes burned and were directed directly at Sango he seemed to stand there unaffected.

"God how can you just stand there with that smug look on your face?" her voice cracked in her anger. "You just don't know how much I…." She stopped ranting and looked away.

"She ended it for good, Rin," I whispered lightly when I had the chance. A warm liquid drop landed heavily on the comforter leaving a cold trail on my cheek.

"I acted like a child that night…. I shouldn't have said those things to her. Things would've turned out differently," my voice cracked ridiculously and my throat burned from the length of the sentence. Rin's eyes were locked onto mine with horror radiating from them.

The silence was unbearable, and Sango singing on TV didn't help the situation at all.

"Kagome," Rin said softly with her eyes watering. "I'm sorry…"

"It's ok. You were just worried," I said gently resting my eyes. "She was right- everything she said was right."

"No, Kagome… and Sango- god, I'm really sorry," Rin said with her voice was thick with tears instantly.

"Look, let's not talk about this right now," Sango said. Her voice was strong and solid.

I opened my eyes with a sigh.

"You going to tell me how you became a rock star?" I asked with a lame smile.

Sango made a face and hesitated.

"Sure," she said slipping her thumbs into her front pocket and stood casually. "It was a week or so after you were hospitalized. I was just slipping through life pathetically and I found myself at a bar- which hadn't been a rare occurrence at the time. I was feeling really shitty about what happened, so I started to drink and crazy shit like that.

"Anyways, my dad's old manager recognized me. I know- a one in a million chance that he happened to be in the area looking for new indie bands to sign. He asked me if I had gained any of my dad's talent and that if I had, then I could sign with a band he was putting together. He said it'd be instant fame. I told him that I was sick, emotionally, and that I couldn't possibly do anything like that. I also told him that I didn't want to become the asshole that my father was.

"A few days after that, however, I met up with him and we discussed the possibilities. Kohaku's life would be a ton easier if I could get the amount of money he proposed within the time he proposed. That meant a lot of work, though. Like scraping the rust off my musical skills- that was effortless though. It was finding proper band mates; that was the hard part. I chose Kikyo as the bassist. The auditions went smoothly, however, and we're working on a CD now," she finished. She was so comfortable but reserved- aloof.

"That's awesome Sango," I said with a tired smile.

"Yeah- but it's hard work. The fast life gets so old, so fast," she said with a sigh. "I miss just being a normal girl- well, as normal as a celebrity's daughter can get. Now I'm just totally out there. Kohaku seems to be enjoying himself, though. He likes going on tours with us when he's on vacation."

Rin smiled apologetically, and then headed for the door. "I'm going to go call Kagome's family."

She was gone.

I was alone with Sango.

She looked down at me with a sullen smile. "You look so sick."

"I probably do," I said with a wry smile. "You look great though. Who would've known you can pull off that look so well," I laughed gently, still feeling my throat's rawness.

"What can I say?" she smirked confidently.

It was silent again and I looked down at the foot of my bed. I hated that things were so awkward between us now. I coughed a little- my eyes watered at the pain that brought my throat.

"I've missed you," she admitted.

I looked up to see her green eyes relaying nothing but truth.

"Really?" I asked, surprised by the statement.

"Yeah."

It was quiet again.

"I'm… uh… dating someone now," she continued. "Our drummer- she's…uh…. Well."

"That's nice Sango- I'm happy for you," I replied truthfully. I could live with that. I could live with just her friendship. She was further from me than she ever was before now and I understood that she just couldn't be with me.

I smiled at her and she looked surprised at first but then smiled back slowly. God how I loved that smile- those perfect smiles she gave me. If my only goal in life were to see those smiles; then I could live happily.

"God, I've missed you so much."

I blushed, and then looked away.

"I'm on a tight schedule…. But if you ever want to talk or anything- you can always call and maybe you can join Kohaku on tour sometime," she offered softly.

"That'd be nice," I said, wiping the tears from my cheeks. Goodness- I was just crying like crazy, wasn't I?

"I'd really like that," Sango said with a sad smile.

"Thank you Sango."

She stood there for a few moments before leaving the room. It was silent now- the only sounds that filled the room were the television playing some odd commercial about lung disease, the whirring of the various machines in the room, the lonely drip of my IV, and my broken sobs.

Once I was strong enough- I was released from the hospital. I fell into the pace of my old life quickly. Going to school and studying hard; that's all I put effort and focus into. I was taking extra classes to catch up on what I missed. It was coming easily- like usual- but I just studied and studied. I didn't want my mind to wander to anything else. It was really sad, but it was all that I could do to distract myself. Sango's band was becoming big- they were everywhere. It was as if I couldn't avoid her anywhere I went and it hurt. It hurt me so bad to even think about her and that drummer; her girlfriend.

Sango's girlfriend was hot. She had that badass look that went with being a drummer. She had really long blonde hair, in which she had crazily colored streaks dyed in. She had blue eyes that were intensely deep and dark. She was about Sango's height- possibly even taller. I wouldn't know, however, because I tried to not pay too much attention to her whenever I saw images of Sango's band, which had been officially named, Kirara. I was ashamed to say, that even though I accepted the thought of never having Sango again, I was jealous. I was especially irritated by this because I knew that all I was doing was hurting myself by still wanting her affection.

InuYasha was doing alright. He called every now and then. He was dating Kikyo now- it seemed he finally go over me. That was good; hearing that left me feeling good. I just felt left behind sometimes though. Left behind in the dust with no way to catch up…

I was sitting in the library one afternoon when someone came up to me.

"You're Kagome Higurashi, right?"

I looked up from my textbook to see dark green eyes gazing down at me. Eyes to similar to Sango's. My heart skipped a few beats before I remembered that she had addressed me.

"Yes?" I replied, simply. The girl had dark hair; it seemed almost black. It was long and she tucked her bangs behind her ear before starting.

"I, um… well I was wondering if I could get some help with some class work."

"Huh?"

"Well, I have Mr. Tanuki for my chemistry lab, and he said you were the best student he ever had and I should ask you for help if I ever needed it," she said shyly with a blush against her pale cheeks.

"Oh, Hachi," I muttered under my breath. In reality, he was probably too distracted by other things to teach his students nowadays. If he wasn't careful, he'd lose his job.

"Ah- sure," I shrugged, moving my things a bit to give her room beside me.

"Oh, only if you have time," she spluttered hastily. "I don't want to disrupt your studies."

"No, no; it's ok. Take a seat," I said piling my things neatly. It really was ok, because in reality I had nearly everything memorized in that textbook. I was really bored out of my mind. It would be a nice change for once.

"Thank you so much," she said with a gentle smile. She had such a lovely smile. "Oh, my name is Reiki, by the way. Reiki Takata."

After that, Reiki would find me once a week after going to the actual lab. I'd help her understand what to do and how to write up the lab report. I'd explain to her what was needed in the report and why. Every now and then, she'd pop up on some random day with assignments from other courses.

"Kagome, you're always studying so hard," she said with a smile as she packed her things one afternoon.

"I guess," I shrugged.

"No really. If I ever need help, anytime I come to the library, you're at this table."

"Are you trying to infer something?" I questioned, quickly slipping into the defensive.

"I, ah… no," she mumbled. "I'm sorry- that was rude of me. I'm just really thankful for all of your help."

"Yeah, whatever. It's ok," I sighed.

"Kagome!"

I looked up to see Rin approaching, getting evil glares from the students studying in the library. Rin could be quite loud at times.

"Hey Rin," I said, glad to see her. She had distracted me from my awkward tutor moment.

"Kags, you got this in the mail. It's from Sango."

She handed me an envelope. My name and address was written in Sango's sloppy scrawl. I hesitantly took it.

"Thanks Rin," I said, feeling the weight of the letter in my hands.

Sango and I hadn't really kept in touch after our parting that one day in the hospital. I often heard about her being in town- no doubt to be with her little brother. But she never called and she never visited. I figured that it was just that she didn't want to see me. I figured she was too busy to see me. After all, she was even more famous than she was before. What time was there to visit an ex?

Reiki gave me a hesitant look.

"Oh, hi! I'm Rin," Rin bubbled as she offered her hand. "I'm Kagome's roommate. She's told me a lot about you, Reiki."

I blushed at this statement. Rin made it seem like….

"Have any idea what's inside?" I said quickly.

"Nope; no idea…. Do you want to open it?"

"I don't know really. I mean, it might be something important if Sango sent me a letter. We haven't talked since the day I woke up…. We aren't really that close anymore."

"Well then you should," Rin said, sobering slightly. She looked worried for me. I knew that Rin could never forgive herself for the way she had acted and attacked Sango that day. She also felt awful about our breakup- despite the fact that the whole situation had nothing to do with her. I guess she felt that I'd feel bad because she was in a happy, healthy relationship with Sesshoumaru. I wanted nothing more than to tell her that I was past my breakup with Sango- that I knew that us dating just wasn't going to be. I want her to tell that it wasn't our breakup that hurt- it was just the fact that she didn't seem to even want to be my friend anymore.

I opened up the package and pulled out a sheet of paper wrapped around what seemed to be a hard, glossy cardboard ticket that was, to me, second in importance to the handwritten letter. I set that aside without looking at it and looked down at the heartwarmingly familiar print. The paper read:

_Hey Kags,_

_Sorry for not keeping in touch. I've been busy these past few weeks- with preparing for the tour and whatnot. Anyways, I'd like to see you sometime soon and what better way to do that than invite you on our upcoming tour. Now, I know you're a total book worm and there's nothing worse to you than getting behind in your studies. I have no doubt that you spend most of your free time at the library. So you need a vacation. You don't have to hit all the stops with us- because that'll seriously cut into you school time and I know you need your hours, but the ones that you can make it- it'd be a joy to see you. Plus, I know that the later part of the tour runs into your spring break!_

_Enclosed is one VIP backstage pass to all of the stops on our tour. If you decide that you want to come then just call me at the number you hopefully still have as my cell number. I'll answer no matter what. We'll discuss the dates that you can attend. And don't worry- I'll handle the expenses._

_Once again, sorry for not keeping in touch… I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me or not. I would've called- but something was holding me back. Anyways, I'm waiting for your call. Call me anytime._

_Love ya,  
Sango_

I was silent for a moment, thinking about what I just read. I looked up to see Rin giving me a questioning glance. Her worry seemed to run deeply into her eyes.

"She wants me to go on tour with them," I said after a moment.

Rin's face lit up.

"Are you serious?! Go on tour with the hottest band to hit the country in the past decade?!"

I nodded lightly.

"Oh, that is so awesome!" Rin gushed. "But… ah- do you want to. I mean, would you feel comfortable with them?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I should go."

"Forget that, Kagome. You want to see Sango again, right?"

I nodded with a gentle blush on my cheeks.

"Then you should go- that's reason enough to," she said with a knowing smile.

"I'll have to think about it."

"I think you should go."

I looked up, startled by the timid voice. I had totally forgotten that Reiki was sitting right next to me. Her deep green eyes looked almost soaked in regret; but she hadn't said anything questionable…

"I mean, it'd be great for you to see her again," she said hesitantly.

"Wait…. You know about…?" Rin started, but trailed off, not knowing how to finish her sentence. She awkwardly tugged at her left earring.

"Everyone knows. Sango Taijiya is the biggest thing to hit the media since god knows when. You just can't not know about Sango- especially since she used to come here. She brings a lot of fame to this university. And pretty much everyone knows about their relationship…. Not all the details; but a lot of it," Reiki said, with a blush as she averted her eyes, tugging on one of her braided pigtails.

"This is… ridiculous," I muttered, with tears burning my eyes. How embarrassing; for strangers to know about my involvement with Sango. Half of them probably didn't even know me. What was worse was that now they'd have prejudice against me without even meeting me.

"Oh, Kagome, it can't be that bad," Rin said in a not so convincing voice. She had been trying her best to cheer me up lately. It had only been irritating me more and more. This was one of those times because her encouragement was only making me feel worse.

"It is Rin. Who knows how much they know about my relationship with Sango. I won't be able to look anyone in the eye without feeling violated."

"No, really Kagome; Rin's right. All they know is that you two dated for the longest time… that's all!" Reiki tried to convince as she pushed her bangs from her dark eyes. Her pale face had reddened considerably. She was blushing crazily.

"But what inferences come with the status of "dating for a long time"?! It's simply an intrusion of privacy!"

"Kags, come on. Chill- Reiki didn't do anything to you," Rin said hesitantly, her eyes trained to mine. "Plus, I mean, it's news on a celebrity. It was bound to become common knowledge eventually. You know that, Kagome. So please don't be so hard on Reiki."

Tears slipped from my eyes.

"I know. I'm sorry Reiki," I muttered, slipping the ticket and letter back into the envelope.

"Kagome?" Reiki tried softly.

"It's just... I don't like that my relationship with Sango was common knowledge. Yeah- we were open about dating and our sexualities, but now people who didn't give a fuck before are spreading it and what hurts the most is that it's over and has been; I can't turn to her for anything because I hurt her so bad. And… and people are so self centered- too egocentric to know that gossip about someone you don't even know hurts that person. I didn't even know you until a few days ago and here you are telling me that you 'know' about Sango and I. It just makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Where are you going?" Reiki asked as I stood and started off.

"I don't know," I replied as I continued. I just didn't know how to reply to that. I just didn't know what to think...

I just walked out of the library- absent of my books and equipped with a handwritten letter from my lost love. And as I walked, I pondered what I would say when I called her; what I would say _if_ I decided to call her- because I wasn't sure whether or not I had the strength to even talk to her now. My chest ached just at the thought. But I couldn't back down. I took a deep breath, gathering my courage.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, flipped it open, and dialed her number.

* * *

**Until Next Time!**

**Review please!**

**-Enigmatic Ethereality**


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